I moved on with a new boyfriend,and he moved on.On the weekend he talk to me on the phone,and mentioned that this woman that he cheated on me with has a baby by him which I had a feeling,but he just now telling me about it.He said that he wants my kids to be in the baby's life.My children who's 7 & 9(boy & girl)doesn't know about the baby,and I don't want to tell them,cause they'll ask questions,and might be confused.What should I do?
2007-11-19 04:38:05 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're not with him anymore and the kids will see this as a step situation, regardless if he marries her or anyone else in the future.
If he's being responsible for all of the kids, then go ahead tell them because there could be bigger problems in the future if you don't tell them now and they find out that you knew about the child. You don't need to go into details of who the woman is and how their dad cheated on you with her--that's something that may or may not become apparent to them with time. Just tell them that this is a woman dad was involved with and they had a baby who is their little brother or sister and dad wants them to meet and be friends.
Never say anything bad about the woman or your ex, it will only drive your kids to take sides and they won't pick your's. Also when you bad mouth your ex, the kids feel bad because they think "I'm part of him, so I must be bad too". And never say anything bad about the other child, because it didn't ask to be in this situation and then it just looks like you're picking on the child and it makes you look bitter and like you haven't moved on. Yes, it stinks to take the high road in the short term, but it will make you look great in the long term.
Also the kids will need each other, especially if their dad is a royal jerk, 'cause there is probably going to be more half sibs down the road.
2007-11-19 04:55:29 · answer #1 · answered by Invisigoth 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, Bravo Invisigoth.....
Absolutely let your children know about their new sibling. They will love the idea of another brother or sister and if you are worried about your ex then ask the courts for supervised visitation for him and when he comes to visit his children with you ask him to bring the new baby.
Good luck
2007-11-19 15:35:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is better for you to tell them !!!
2007-11-22 00:39:51 · answer #3 · answered by latinmami800 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋