Guys (men), your advise needed in this tricky situation?

Question

We came close. He withdrew when I got more involved. I fell in love. He has some feelings but not enough. He says he just wants to be good friends. he calls everyday. We meet each other (we are long-distance though) as often as we can. I have decided, that although it will be painful, I will be "just his friend". We have ended up coming physically close (no, no s** yet) so we eventually end up coming close when we do meet. But in our next meeting, if I don't give him ANY indication that I want to come close, and just play it 100% platonic (afterall, he just wants to be friends), will I be doing the right thing? I do want to win his heart eventually though. But by stopping myself and being 100% platonic in words as well as actions, will I be doing the right thing and will he actually admire me more for that?

Answer 1

You want to win his heart.... AND you aren't going to act close to him the next time he sees you? That's so silly.

If you want to win his heart, stop acting platonic. But seriously, maybe he is just using you for some affection.

Answer 2

I'm not a man, but I am weighing in anyway. If you're not comfortable being used, then don't get used. In other words, hold back, but don't do it to become more enticing to some creep who is just in it because he wants to fool around with you anyway. This guy has said in no uncertain terms that he doesn't want a relationship with you, so why would you do anything BUT hold back physically? If you give him the piece of tail he's looking for, then he definitely won't see you as anything more than a desperate girl and he can do whatever he wants with you. If you play hard to get (and let's face, it would be an act) he may come on stronger for a while to get what he wants, but it would be sex and nothing more. Stop worrying about how to win him, and think about what it would take for a guy to win you. Is his behavior it? If not, don't waste your time, and don't be friends with a guy you are crushing on if it's painful for you. Life is too short! ;)

Answer 3

no matter what some people say, most humans are NOT mind readers, so quit trying to read his. besides, you might not like what you read if you could. if he says to keep it platonic, then keep it there, for your sake. you will be the one hurt because you read too much into the relationship. he doesn't have a clue what he wants(except for s*x maybe). i was in a similar situation with a woman, i felt hurt because she kept it platonic (she said she knew me too well) but now i'm glad they we didn't go further than that because she turned out to be more screwed up that i am.

Answer 4

Yes that is fair and should help him realize what you mean to him.
Be careful tho, this might make him see you as a freind only so it might back fire on you.
But I think he will see you more than a girl friend when you stop all the advatages of being a GF
He will miss your affection very quickly

Answer 5

Total catch 22 there.....either way you may be screwing yourself...for your own good I would play the safe route. sad thing is, is he'll probably come around after you find someone else and start dating them. Besides...men are pretty simple usually they'll let you know if they want to be with you. Just friends is usually one of two things...either he's not interested...or he just wants a shag buddy. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 6

if you want him to love you then you gotta be attached to him first ... so playing it distent and playing it cool will only support his theory that you guys should just be friends.. so if he comes get close to him and hopefully he will lose it and be all over u :P
and when he find out that he cant live without u then hes yours XD

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