bridesmaid problem.?

Question

we are having 200 people at our wedding, but our bridal party are our best friends and the only ones "our age" attending the wedding. a few months ago my fiance and i made friends with a great couple. a mutual friend with some of our bridal party members. We grew to be great and very close friends and a few days ago they were over. my fiance asked the guy if he wouldnt mind being a groomsman. so at that point, his girlfriend said, " so, am i the only one going to the wedding and not in the bridal party? my fiance didnt know what to say, so he said, oh.... (my name) meant to ask you. ( but i didnt mean to) and she was thrilled! so now i have to make her a bridesmaid or what? i have 4, and he has 5 groomsman, but i already got 4dresses and they dont have anymore, so where do i get another one? or how do i get out of this commitment that i never meant to be in in the first place?

please help.

no, my fiance was planning on asking him, but not at that moment.

Answer 1

Your fiance invited her, have him "fix" it. You can help him with the explanation...ie: Dresses already purchased.

Answer 2

Yikes, that's a bit awkward....for her and you. That's a man for you, opening their big mouths. You didn't discuss this with him before hand? I mean a few months of being friends with someone...I would have been careful to ask them to be in my bridal party (or a groomsman). I almost made that mistake then I found out this great friend was a flaky, needy annoying person that I no longer talk to. So be careful. Maybe you should talk to her and tell her that you already had your bridesmaids picked out and the dresses are no longer available. Explain that your husband felt bad and that's why he blurted out that you were going to ask her, even though he knew that wasn't true. I mean, she SHOULD understand considering you've only known her for such a short time. If not, then your husband should have his 4 groomsmen to match your 4 instead of having this new guy make it uneven. His friend shouldn't be so crushed considering guys don't care as much about this garbage as women do. So then they can both not be in the bridal party together, lol.

Answer 3

It sounds like you and your fiance are truly nice people and do not want to hurt the girl's feelings.
Which is really nice of you because just to be clear, the girl was extremely rude by asking to be in the wedding the way she did. I would not be surprised were I you if she causes trouble for you later on in life.

OK, to solve your problem, if you don't mind adding her to the wedding party is that you need to find another dress OR find 5 that are alike.

I would suggest that your boyfriend might help you since he is the one that made the mistake in the first place.

Honestly, this is not really one of those things you should worry too much about since 5 years from now it really won't be an issue.

Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 4

Oh, that's a terrible predicament. Weddings can be stressful enough without bridal party drama.

So what can you do to fix it? Well first... Were you there when your fiancee said you wanted to include her as a bridesmaid? If you weren't (and if you really don't want her involved at all in the wedding) then you can say that your fiancee misspoke, and you've already selected your entire wedding party. If you were there, and you "agreed" by not disagreeing with your fiancee when it was stated, then you may be stuck. :(

However, if you bring up the point you made about the dresses, she may understand your situation. Say something like: "My other bridesmaids have already purchased their dresses, and I feel terrible but I've searched everywhere and can't find a match for you to wear. I still want you to be part of my wedding. I'd love it if you could read a Bible passage at the ceremony."

Best wishes! :)

Answer 5

IMO blood is thicker than water, so relatives has to return first. i'd communicate on your husband and spot how he feels approximately it. perhaps you may desire to a minimum of flow to the dinner, then spend something of the weekend with your in-rules. i'm advantageous they might comprehend which you had a prior dedication. regardless of the shown fact that, if there is merely no way which you will attend, then consult with the bride and tell her your concern. you additionally can supply to help the different bridesmaids pay for expenditures for the bachelorette social gathering. i'm sorry to pay attention that those bridesmaids do not look to comprehend that your in-rules are your loved ones. people who've in no way been married in specific cases have a demanding time expertise this. reliable success! properly sounds such as you have executed all you're able to do. by utilising all potential spend time with your in-rules, because of the fact you have constrained time with them. i'd plan a females night out with the bride at a later time. in spite of if that is merely dinner, i'm advantageous she would be able to savour it.

Answer 6

If your fiance has 5 groomsmen you really need to have 5 bridesmaids. It would look funny if it were an odd #. As far as the dresses go, make your maid of honor feel special and put her in a prettier dress than the other girls. A "special" dress for her. It's a quick fix to every problem.

If you really don't want her in the wedding just explain the situation. I'm sure she'll understand.

Answer 7

First of all, the girl was completely out of line for her little "Am I the only one not in the wedding party?" comment. The only people who should be in the bridal party are the people YOU decide on.

Secondly, I'm sorry, but I think I would've slapped my boyfriend if he ever put me on the spot like that. Especially if he knew I had no intention of asking her to be in the party.

In my personal and honest opinion, you should have a talk with your fiance and tell him that HE needs to tell the girl that he made a mistake in telling her you were planning on letting her be a part of your bridal party since HE'S the one who volunteered that little piece of info. That was just completely uncalled for on both of their parts.

Good luck!

Answer 8

I don't know about ettiquite but if your groom got you into this, he should help you get out!!

And as far as the girl goes, her question about being the only person not in the wedding party - that was just tactless!

Why don't you ask this gal to perform one of those other wedding duties. Explain the dress situation and that you can't get another and that in all honesty you hadn't planned on anymore than 4 attendants on each side. Tell her that you feel very awkward about the misunderstanding with your groom but that you'd love to have her help out in some other area.

You know, I can't imagine knowing someone for only one month and expecting to be put in their wedding. I think I'd have been appalled for the sake of the bride, if the groom had said to me what yours said to her. Unfortunately for you, it wasn't me and you're still in a pickle!

I hope it works out!!

Have a blessed marriage!

Answer 9

Well the truth is that you only have 4 bridemaid and 5 groomsmen is one of them going to be alone? Anyways, I think this is something youre fiancee and yourself should have talked about because the fact is you have an uneven number now youre maid of honor is suppose to be alone at the beginning because the best man is waiting at the altar with youre husband and then she walks out with him so I dont know you will have on of the groomsmen alone unless youw ere planning to have them do it this way. Maybe you could find another dress or if all the dresses are alike you maid of honor may look differ?

Answer 10

Hi there...

If she is married you could make her the MAID OF HONOR. Bridesmaids are only really meant to be girls who are not married. A married woman cannot really be a bridesmaid. A maid of honour can be dressed in the same colour dress but different style. This way you do not have to worry about what to say to her.
Or take your friend to the place where you got the dresses (tell her you need to check size etc) when you get there they will not have any of the dresses you bought left and then maybe you can get out of it that way. Seem sympathetic though. :O)
Good luck.

Answer 11

it's your wedding, do what you want.....but your fiancee got you into this. he should get you out. you could have your maid of honor wear a slightly different dress. many people do that anyway. otherwise.......if you don't want her in your bridal party you could be honest (it might hurt her feelings, but at least she would feel you were being straight up) or you could say something like " i really wanted yo to be in my bridal party but since the arrangements have already been made we prefer to have you as an honored guest". good luck!