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Is a 39 year old dating a 21 year old woman weird? recently i met a nice girl who seems mature for 21 (still has the tendency to go party with her friends sometimes and be 21 but other than that seems really together). should i put any stock into this or maybe just cut the ties? I'm almost tempted to ask her why a 21 year old would want to be with a 39 year old guy that was divorced. Should I? At this stage in the game i don't have time to mess around. What should i do? drop it as a go no where thing or am i fooling myself. No i'm not buying her crap or being her sugar daddy. I'm careful with that. she's also incredibly attractive so the question is rolling around in my head why she is out with a 39 year old.

2007-11-19 03:24:17 · 15 answers · asked by survivor 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

15 answers

Some of the best matches in the world were with people who were much different in age from each other. If you ask her , I guarantee the answer will be that age doesn't matter to her; all the men her age seem too young; or she just gets along better with more mature men. You are not robbing the cradle or anything, and in this day and age women know what they want. Don't worry about what anyone else may say, and talk to the man in your head. The real question you are asking yourself is "why me, what could a girl like her possibly see in me?" Obviously something pretty nice!

2007-11-19 03:37:25 · answer #1 · answered by suzyQ™ 5 · 2 0

I had this conversation with a 59 yr old guy the other day (I'm 24). It might be the appeal of having a guy with his crap together. Younger guys are still making too many mistakes in life and she wants someone stable & reliable. Some women just like older guys. If you're not showering her with gifts, then maybe it's legit. She might just like you. If you feel uncomfortable about it, you should talk to her. Ask her what she's looking for. She may want to settle down & have a family someday & this is temporary. Talk it out.

2007-11-19 11:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by Casie 4 · 1 0

No matter what is said on here, it's going to drive you up a wall until you learn HER answer. (Why don't you have time to mess around?? Maybe you got too serious too soon last time -- which is why you arer now divorced.) If you don't want to come out and tell her exactly how you are feeling, how can you expect her to do so? In general conversation ask her what her thoughts are on someone being 50 y/o married to a 42 y/o, or something like that.... Best wishes.

2007-11-19 11:41:22 · answer #3 · answered by u r s i 6 · 0 0

you can talk to her about it but age really has no bearing unless you let it. Remember Charlie chaplin was over 50 when he married Oona Oneil who was only 18 and they were married for 34 years until his death. Perhaps when you really get close you can party along with her and the rest of the 21 year olds and that will keep you feeling younger as well. You might just be a better person than you think you are and she sees things in you that you don't see in yourself. Good Luck to you!!

2007-11-19 11:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 1 0

I have dated and spent quality time with younger women a number of times. You need to understand that "young women" today are for the most part very mature and very well informed. They know what they want and will go for it circumstances being OK.

Be honest, take things for how and what they are, and respect her position on life and just what she wants out of it.

I always enjoy the new perspective another person brings to "the table", this young lady may very well be a eye opener for you. Relax, let things move at the pace she sets and listen to her. You might just learn to live better and get a whole new look at life in general!

2007-11-19 11:40:47 · answer #5 · answered by Joe H 2 · 2 0

Some women like older men. When she's 39 you'll only be 57. That doesn't sound as bad as 21 and 39. If you're wondering why then you should ask her.

2007-11-19 11:29:17 · answer #6 · answered by shellshell 6 · 0 0

Age is nothing but a number, my friend. Some females really and genuinely like dating older men. It's quite common for young ladies to find their male contemporaries immature and unrefined, whereas the old man has those two important qualities.
Since you've stated that this isn't a money issue and she's dating you b/c she's interested, ride the wave. See where it goes. You never know what might happen. Just enjoy yourself and the newness of what you're doing. (Life's too short!)
Good luck!

2007-11-19 11:48:24 · answer #7 · answered by YSIC 7 · 2 0

It is a huge gap, I agree. However, I wonder why you're so insecure about the relationship AND her. Do YOU think she's happy? Do YOU give her the attention she deserves? Do YOU care about things that matter to her?

What I'm getting at is this: If you are in a "good place" inside and comfortable with who YOU are, then you will be able to give out of your abundance and love for others (her especially).

If you are a person worth loving and spending time with (as opposed to a mean spirited or selfish person), then you are both WINNERS.

Enjoy your time together and stop being such a "worrywort," wondering if she's this or that.

2007-11-19 13:50:21 · answer #8 · answered by Pixie 3 · 1 0

i am dating a 36 year old woman and i'm 26. To me age is a stupid number that we have been programmed in my society to recite when asked. its a bad stigma. She constantly told me that even though i was the most mature guy she had met i was still too young. that was 3 months ago. if you truely care about her age has nothing to do with it. all that matters is the feelings you have. i told my girl if i had told her that i was 35 she would have dated me in a heartbeat but because i told the truth and said 26 she felt wierd about it. do what your heart tells you and not what you think society would think. if you don't you'll be hurting her for the wrong reasons. all we want is a fair chance and to be told you good but not good enough solely on the age then you are going to be upset with your action later on.

2007-11-19 11:34:13 · answer #9 · answered by todd376 2 · 1 0

I dont think you should go for it unless she is truly as mature as you think she is, it would depend on how long you know her, although my fiancee is also much older than I ( 8 years ) we have our goals set right about the same, making it easier. Do not continue with her if you see your goals are set different , it ALWAYS causes mass chaos in a relationship with a large age difference. ( She wants to go party, you want to stay home and relax, you're thinking of marriage, she's thinking of having fun or " experimenting" ) I personally dont date men my age or slightly younger simply because they are still getting extended calls by their mothers reminding them to eat breakfast and wear clean underwear also because they are scared of the word "commitment",

2007-11-19 11:46:34 · answer #10 · answered by laura v 2 · 1 0

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