baby mama drama...should I stay?

Question

There is this guy that I really,like but he has a son by a woman that he was with for 5 years and there son is 2. They broke up in February and I know for a fact that they still communicate , but reportedly only about matters concerning their son. The other day she came over and went crazy when she found out I was there. Like really crazy, she wasn't saying that she was mad at my being there but starting going off about a whole slew of things. I belive that if they were completely through that she would have not reacted like this but he keeps assuring me that she only reacted that way because she wants to get back with him (p.s. they broke up because she cheated) But i'm not sure, he hasn't done anything to make me doubt him in the past but something doesnt' seem right... what should I do?

Answer 1

Well i been through that before, and girl let me tell that kind of stuff is hard to deal with. On one hand it makes you confuse because you don't know what she's acting that way when they are suppose to be broken up. Well, hate to say it but your boy friend may be right. She probably hate the fact that he with another woman. She's not going to stop acting crazy until she find someone who she likes and want to be with. I mean at some point he's not going to be able to see his child because she's probably not going to want the baby around you. I mean women like that will do anything to hurt the man as well as they're new relationship. Even if your boyfriend is trying to be cordial to her for the sake of they're child, women like that take it the wrong way as if he wants her. I'm going to tell you that it is going to get on your nerve. But the question is are you willing to deal with it for awhile. You have to ask yourself is he worth dealing with his baby momma drama.

Answer 2

I see red flags all over this situation.
She has no right to come over and stir up trouble when it's not warranted. Unless the two of you were doing something that was endangering their son, then there's not ONE good reason that she should come over and start some mess with you. If she's like this now, the problem can potentially escalate and put a huge strain on your relationship w/ your bf.
Sounds like he's pretty solid and has his head on straight, but that ex of his means him no good.
I'd at least tell him how you feel and see if there is some sort of resolution to the situation. You might have to take a time out and step away from the relationship for a minute to see if things get better.
Good luck!

Answer 3

If you love your boyfriend, stay & help him through this. If possible, admit the ex-wife to a mental hospital & maybe they can help figure out what's wrong w/ her. If you don't love your boyfriend, that's when you should just leave him & leave all of the drama behind. I'm going to guess you do love him because you've been w/ him for a while so you should stick w/ him because he needs somebody now more than ever. Since you work w/ children's services, you need to see if they can have all private numbers blocked so that she can't call there anymore anonymously. Bottom line, this woman needs some serious psychological help & I think next time she makes these calls, call the police on her for harassment & get her locked up.

Answer 4

If it doesn't seem right, it probably isn't. It's only logical that this woman would have a problem with him seeing someone else, whether she cheated on him or not. She's raising his child. In fact, you've only heard his side of the story. Have you heard hers, as well? Be careful with this guy. 5 years is a long time to be with a woman. You might get played, if you get involved with him.

Answer 5

if it is too uncomfortable for you there then you can leave. You don't need to be surrounded by baby mama drama while you are attempting to have a relationship. Tell him to get everything squared away with the ex and then you two can have a relationship. It's too hard to focus on the two of you while some crazy lady is freaking out all the time.

Answer 6

She is definately trying to drive you away. With her being all psycho like that, you might want to avoid the bad scene with him, because she is going to keep it up as long as she has a torch for him and if there is ever a custody dispute about the child, she will be all over you and your relationship with him. But he has also left his child in a broken situation because of her cheating - which is not good either. He sounds like he is over her, but he also would leave you with another child of his, know that he would. If you want him, know that he is not the kind of guy to work through a problem - he will pack and run.

Answer 7

I've been there...He is still leading her on and making her think that there is still a chance that they'll get back together...Do not get caught in all of this...Obviously, he has a lot to deal with (personally) so I would back out quietly before it's too late. May-be you can resurface when he actually knows what he wants...This issue is very delicate-and if he's really ready to move on, he would talk it over with her and have her to respect you as his new lady friend.

Answer 8

honey im in that situation right now and the guy is sweet to me and all but it not wroth it and the guy im with has a 2yr old daugther and his babies mother cheated to and now they go to court and all that stuff but there are times when i just have enough u dont want to be in a relationship with a guy that has a kid cuz its to stressfull and she is in the back of ur mind and if they are not together and she wants him back u could be sure that she aint gonna give up without a fight and that is really enough u see men dont think when they spend their seed around but this is about u and ur emotional state u have to do was best for u and u have to separate urself from him it aint worth it

Answer 9

it sounds like she still wants him back and she was jealous that you were there.i would'nt call it quits.just because,of her.what does he say about her?i would ask him,if there is anyway that they might still have a chance together.especially with a child involved,i know you are probably getting attched to the child,that will just make it harder on the child also because children get attached real easy and it sounds like the child has gone through alot here lately. hang in there!show her that you are not threatned by her and that you are his now and that you are not going any where.laugh in her face!

Answer 10

Seems to me that the "baby mama" only want to create problems in her ex's new relationship. Trust your man, and ignore her immature behavior. But understand that when children are involved sometimes it comes with baggage, be sure that you are ready for it.