terrified of going to work tomorrow - my manager is going to eat me?!?

Question

I am on a study day today and spoke to HR earlier to tell them I wanted to resign - they said they'd break it to my manager today and that he would ring me later, and he hasn't

I know he's going to be a real ar$e about it as they've paid for loads of training etc for me, he's going to give me such a hard time tomorrow, i'm so nervous i feel sick - help!!

CuriousJ - if my manager was a bullying git I would have easily told him to his face. What he in fact is, is a manipulative, guilt tripping sort of person, hence why it is so hard

Answer 1

did you sign any contracts requiring you to pay back any fees if you left within a certain time of starting study?

You manager has a right to feel disappointed - he has supported your development, and you do not tell him first face to face. In some ways that show a lack of respect.

Go straight to him in the morning - apologise - say you were too scared to tell him straight - and realise you should have spoke to him first.

If you play the opening gambit - it will defuse anything he says.

face the facts...

good luck in the new job
Mike

Answer 2

Most companies which offer training programmes will have clauses in their contracts stating you must repay a portion of all training costs if you leave within a certain timeframe.

If your employer has failed to include such a clause it is their fault and such things are to be expected.

Also make sure you notify them in writting so you can prove you have given the correct notice etc.

Any negative treatment caused by resigning could be classed as constructive dismissal and you could leave with the full pay due for the notice period. Point that out if he comes down heavily on you.

Answer 3

OK, so let me put my cards clearly on the table. Resigning by phone, via HR, on a day off, is unprofessional and cowardly. Especially after the company has invested so much in you - you even chose a study day to do it! So unless your manager was a bullying git and you are scared of him, you have done him a great dis-service too.

There is nothing for it. You will just have to face the mess you have created tomorrow. Your manager will probably be coolly professional with you. After all, if that's the way you conduct your business affairs, then you aren't really that much of a loss to the company after all.

I hope you have learned a little from this sorry mess.

Answer 4

So - you've done the difficult part - you made the decision.

You may be surprised - your manager may ignore you. If they know you aren't going to be around, they may not want to waste their time/energy on you.

And - assuming he doesn't ignore you - just be as polite as you can be. Remember - YOU ARE LEAVING - what can he do besides cause some temporary discomfort? (I'm guessing that is WHY you are leaving, cuz he's a JERK)


Finally, don't worry about using HR to resign - that's what they are there for! - to smooth things out between employees and managers!!!

Best of luck.

Answer 5

Take a deep breath - you are an adult. He cannot do anything to you, so you wanna leave your job, so what? It's no skin off his nose really they'll just find somebody else to fill your shoes. You are being too dramatic. You must be leaving for good reason so keep that in your mind & be honest. We have to look after #1 after all. Just because they paid for some training does not mean they own you or can control you. Chill out your taking life too seriously - you'll be laughing about this next week!

Answer 6

How can he make you feel guilty? You resigned. He is not going to be in your life anymore. Why do you care about how he feels?

You need to convince yourself that you are moving on and that they will survive without you. I know it is hard to do but nevertheless true. Try to detach yourself from the situation. Be objective and definitely not subjective; i.e. no emotional connection to the situation.

You'll get through this and so will your manager.

Answer 7

You have no obligation to your manager. Actually if you resign you can request to just deal with HR. Come in settle with HR your PTO, last pay, any confidential agreement....etc. Go to your desk pack and go. If you are concern/afraid talk to HR.
Your manager should not bother you except maybe to say a nice goodbye to you. An harrassment form him should be brought to HR. Any form of harrasment a big deal and he and the company sould be liable for it.

Answer 8

No easy way out of this, just have to go and face the music... He may not be very happy and you may have signed something to say that you will repay any training costs incurred by the company, but there is no reason to be frightened as he can't do anything detrimental to you.
Just one of life's lessons I'm afraid

Answer 9

Take it with good grace. Never burn bridges in business. You never know when you're going to work for the same person again.

Let him act like crap to you, just be polite and firm in why you are leaving. One day he may work for you.

Just deal with it in a way that if you ever end up needing him for something, he's not going to burn you for what you do to him.

You can make it, I've done it. I got the crap I expected, but it wasn't that bad and he hasn't sabotaged my resume, so I think he's not making it personal.

Answer 10

Thank the manager for the opportunity to work with the company and wish them luck. Your angst will only "feed" the one who wants to "eat". Smile, take the high road and enjoy your last few days with those new friends who you have gotten to know.