1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets
the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some
people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think no body cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my
hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the
wrong lane.
2007-11-19 00:22:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into
jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
"What the hell happened?"
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would
all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some
people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . it's more
like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your
butt tomorrow.
2007-11-19 00:23:02 · update #1
lmao :) yes funny :)
these are brilliant; some I have seen before some I haven't.
Larry the cable guy is a bright spark ;)
thanks for sharing :)
2007-11-19 09:33:29 · answer #1 · answered by Opalfire 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Brilliant
2007-11-19 00:26:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Genius
2007-11-19 00:33:34 · answer #3 · answered by Missy Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny! 10!
2007-11-19 01:29:16 · answer #4 · answered by cats 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LMAO!! I love #10 and i think #23..(the one about being bright then hearing the person speak..) haha... cheers!
2007-11-19 00:55:30 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two psychiatrists meet. One says "I can see you're ok, how am I?
2007-11-19 00:28:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
pure brill i love larry the cable guy! :)
2007-11-19 01:50:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
awesome
have a star
2007-11-19 02:10:44 · answer #8 · answered by blackcat XIII 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
funny. lol
2007-11-19 04:39:43 · answer #9 · answered by Kerry 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahaha, very good indeed.
2007-11-19 00:34:09 · answer #10 · answered by xyz 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋