I need advice from outside my family. I work for my father and stepmother and they allow me to bring my infant to work with me (which is great). HOwever, they want to babysit him or come to where I work and take him for the day. I am totally against it and I'm about to get fired. I have not left my child with anyone yet and am definitely not comfortable with them watching him as my father drinks and my stepmother is bipolar and I have seen some of her episodes. I have tried to reason with them and explain that he is my first child and I am not ready to leave him yet but i have been yelled at, cussed at, and told that I am being a bad mother. I want to quit but no one else would allow this type of work arrangement. Am I being unreasonable?????
2007-11-19 00:17:02 · 12 answers · asked by brod 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No, you are being a responsible mom, but unfortunately family dynamics- especially disfunctional ones, are made 10x worse when you work together too. It blurs the boundaries that most people would have (a different work life and home life). You don't say how old the baby is, but perhaps you could make arrangements with them to watch him until you are ready for a more formal child care arrangement. If you have flexibility with work hours maybe you can trade off and do childcare for them. How about the child's dad? No matter what though you are doing the right thing, and the fact that they shout and curse is proof they are unstable.
2007-11-19 01:24:28 · answer #1 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So it looks like your choices are staying at the job and letting your relatives take the baby sometimes or getting a new job and putting him into daycare.
Realistically those are your two choices since you say that after expressing your desires in a polite way you are to the point of almost being fired.
So, exactly how much does your dad drink and how often does your step mom have bipolar episodes? Could you work out a deal where they only have your son a day a week? Or only have him in the same building?
2007-11-19 02:20:27 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all it would be foolish infact to leave your child with these crazy people. Would you be able to forgive yourself if you let these people look after your child and something bad happened knowing you had the chance to prevent it. Well now you do. They can shout and call you whatever you want but you my dear are being a good mother putting your childs safety first. Stick the course and find another arrangement because from my view this will be bad no doubt about it.
So ask yourself what is more important a work arrangement or your childs safety? I hope you are wise about what you do next. Lord help you if you aren't.
Believe!
2007-11-19 01:33:38 · answer #3 · answered by Johny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are feeling is perfectly normal being a first time mum. You as a mother know if the environment at their house is safe enough for your son. Trust your instincts as a mother. Also take into consideration that they are the grandparents and love him and wouldn't intentionally hurt him. How much does your father drink? A lot to the point where he is parrow or just a little. My daughter is three years old and i still hate leaving her anywhere. It takes me a couple of hours to relax and unwind when she goes off with her grandparents. I just worry though. I hate her driving in the car with anyone but me or my husband, because i think to much of what could happened. You are not being a bad mother because you are putting your sons safety first and that's all that matters. If they can't appreciate your wishes as a parent then its there problem. However put yourself in there shoes as grandparents it would also hurt not being allowed to watch their grandson either. just trust your instinct that's all you can do. you are responsible for your sons safety. good luck.
2007-11-19 00:43:28 · answer #4 · answered by Blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Given their reaction to being told you are uncomfortable with
the Idea of leaving him in their care is so rude, I think your instincts are 100% After all you were raised by them so you
know more about their parenting then anybody else. If it was anybody elses child would they threaten to fire them if they didn't hand over the child? I dont think so! taking that approach really doesn't say anything nice about them as people. They may think that they are trying to help you though.
2007-11-19 00:33:45 · answer #5 · answered by wise old sage 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being unreasonable. It would probably be best if you could find another job(easier said than done sometimes)For your sake and your sons, you should find other employment and find a trusted adult to watch your son. I know that'll be hard leaving your son, but at one point you will eventually have to.
2007-11-19 00:25:59 · answer #6 · answered by shann l 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They're the ones that are being unreasonable. They sound like people your son would be scared to death of.
2007-11-19 00:28:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
perchance examine out the e book elevating Vegetarian infants by making use of Joanne Stepaniak and Vesanto Melina. that's particularly with regard to the food (food standards and recipes) yet they conceal a number of the social stuff. i'm able to easily say from the journey of pals with vegan youngsters that that's completely attainable and that there is not any reason to anticipate that a new child would be ostracized. i understand a pair whose vegan-because-concept son is 6. he would be beginning first grade in the autumn. He made fairly some pals in kindergarten and he's youthful adequate that none of them understand there is something diverse approximately him. whilst there's a social gathering in the college room that includes cupcakes, case in point, his mom sends him to college with a vegan cupcake for the instructor at hand out to him. At birthday events, his mom calls the different mom and asks what she's serving. If that's pizza, she sends the youngster with a pair slices of vegan pizza. None of his little pals word those issues. I additionally understand a single mom with a vegetarian 12 365 days previous and a vegan 14 365 days previous (she's vegan yet she raised them with dairy simply by relatives rigidity/loss of help - the older daughter gave it up on her own.) Their friends don't have a topic with their veg*nism. perchance simply by fact that's popular or all of them understand a gaggle of celebs who're veg*n. So, those ladies are not having a topic being ostracized the two. i think of a huge area of it relatively is protecting open verbal replace along with your infants so that they permit you already know in the event that they hear any adverse stuff. as long as you already know what they are dealing with, you could help coach them by using it. perchance banning meat WILL make it greater suitable and you need to purely might desire to be open to the theory that, at some age you deem adequate, they are going to might desire to be allowed to make their very own judgements. The 12 365 days previous above has tried rooster at her grandparents' abode. She grew to become into curious and her mom felt like she grew to become into old adequate to settle on that for herself. So she tried it, theory it grew to become into notably gross, and that grew to become into that. No harm achieved. (deviousfaerie, possibly you have under no circumstances had sturdy vegan goodies, yet I assure you, if all people youthful or previous tried my warm chocolate cupcakes, they could no understand there grew to become into something "diverse" approximately them!)
2016-09-29 12:28:48 · answer #8 · answered by jensen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you are not being unreasonable.you need to explain to themhow you feel about your child being left with them. if they love you they will get over it.
2007-11-19 00:25:15 · answer #9 · answered by morningstar6707 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no he your child put him first and with drinking and bipolar theres wonder what could happen stay strong and stick with your guts
2007-11-19 01:03:19 · answer #10 · answered by allison b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋