christmas nightmear!!?

Question

help me i dunno why but my boyfriend neva seems to engoy xmas he says he loves speending out on me but h8s doing the whole family shoping bits its not the money its the shoping around and he neva seems to engoy xmas day.... he said he would if it was in our own place but we dont have that yet wot can i do to make him engoy it for a change help me xxx

Answer 1

Hi
Sounds to me the problem isn't Christmas, but the family.
There seems to be some resentment from your boyfriend to his family situation or someone in it or maybe the circumstances you are in with the family or a member of it.
You say you don't have your own place to live? Well, are you living with his family or somewhere else? If with his family, he may be catching grief from his parent(s) about you and him. It may be they like you or not, or they feel he should move out if you are going to be together or maybe they don't like the way he treats you or ... could be anything. When family is critical, it is hard to face when you can't afford to move out and he really loves you and wants to be with you. If they are making trouble that he doesn't tell you about, that can cause him to be like that.
I would say he has some issues from the past or is dealing with current resentments with his family (or he is being a baby about something). Christmas is being made into the bad guy because it forces him to be around the family and he feels hypocritical about his feelings toward them or someone there. It is hard to feel love (like at Christmas) toward someone that is critical of you or your girlfriend or your lifestyle.
If I were you, I would sit him down soon and tell him that you know SOMETHING is going on with him and his family and you want to know what! Is it about me(you?)
(Be prepared to hear whatever may come, he may drop a bomb! Just remember to stay calm and don't get caught up in their drama)
If you live with them, it may cause trouble there to fix it.
I would try to get him to open up and talk about it. That can help if he faces it with you openly and you are understanding.
Tell him how you feel about the way he behaves toward Christmas and his family and tell him what you want and expect.
Don't make ultimatums or blame him at all! for what is going on, just state the facts of what you see going on and tell him it hurts and disappoints you to see him with these feelings. You know things could be better for you and him and his family, but it can't get better if no one talks about it and nobody is willing to forgive no matter who is to blame.
He should be the bigger person to admit his mistakes and apologize to whoever he hurt, and then offer forgiveness to who has hurt him (whether he feels he has to or they deserve it or not.
You should back off a little and tell him what you want to have happen at Christmas. Tell him you want genuine goodwill and joyful times at the holiday. If he has to fake it or not, he should try to please you (if not the family) and work to make you happy if he really wants to stay with you!
Sounds like its not the first or second Christmas together. Might be time for a commitment, you think!
Save your Christmas money on gifts and give his family the present they want, you and him to move out.
Keep trying to find out what is wrong out of love and not anger or resentment. He is dealing with his problems (poorly it seeems) and doesn't need you to make more problems from the situation (that he probably feels helpless to change by the way) Be understanding, be loving and caring, don't be judgemental or frustrated. Get him to talk about it. Find out what is hidden under the surface of this attitude.
Remind him that you love him.
(You could also make him an offer to make Christmas night "SPECIAL" if he behaves himself and acts nice-nice with the family.

Answer 2

I cherished them the two extra applicable while i became too youthful to understand commercialism. Halloween we'd flow out til 11pm and get adequate candy to final to Christmas. I constantly had a pair mask and a reversible jacket for going for seconds on the forged residences.

Answer 3

A lot of guys hate shopping for Christmas. All you can do is surprise him with something that he really wants to make him happy.

Answer 4

some people, for instance, your boyfriend, doesn't like christmas, maybe their from a different religion and they celeberate soemthing else? or some people, just plain dont like xmas because their weird, no offense to your boyfriend though lol.

Answer 5

You can't make anybody enjoy something if they are determined not to. Don't let him ruin your enjoyment of Christmas.

Answer 6

tell him that you are going g too wear red under were ;on Xmas day .if that doe.s not cheer him up . humbug .