How to tell my dad that I love him?

Question

I really respect my dad and love him dearly. Yet, I can't find the words to tell him this. We don't talk much because of his job but when I try to talk to him it just feels awkward. It maybe because we never really talked but did activities like sports together instead. We never really had a father-son talk. It is also because he is a traditional Japanese dad and if I do tell him I love him in Japanese, it isn't going to come out right. I think it's a cultural thing since my other Japanese friends can't find the right words to say this. I don't want to regret not telling him how I feel. It's easy to tell my mom that I love her because she is pretty americanized, but it is hard to do so with my dad. Any advice or suggestions?

Wow, thanks for all your suggestions, I really appreciate it. My dad doesn't speak that well of a English so I guess thats the reason why I find it hard to tell him in Japanese since it doesn't translate well. I will input all your suggestions and think of a way to express how I feel. Thank you all!

Answer 1

Just say it any way you can. It might seem awkward at first, but how much more awkward would you feel if you didn't take the chance to tell him while you still can?

The last thing my father and I said to each other was "I love you." We didn't always have a great relationship when I was growing up, but he did his best to make amends, and although we were a lot like you and your dad and didn't always talk very much, and only had said those three words to each other three or four times in our lives, I am forever grateful that we did the last time we had the opportunity.

Answer 2

If he speaks any English, use the English phrase "I love you" which is pretty catch all and works in any relationship-- this may be why it does not transfer well to Japanese. The trick is to say it casually at first and to not anticipate a response. If you have a traditional form of physical affection, like a hug I would say it simply and quickly without formality give him a hug (or whatever) and then just walk away without waiting for a response. After the first time it is really easy ! Then you can say it casually under different circumstances- after he says something funny "I love you Dad", when you leave the house "I love you Dad, I love you Mom", then just regularly and as often as you truly feel it. My father in law has never once said "I love you" to any of his kids, grandkids but I say it to him regularly. It is how I feel and I never want to regret not having told him. The important thing is to have no expectation of reciprocation and knowing that you can express your true feelings will be enough. Good luck and go forward fearlessly. m

Answer 3

No matter if he is Japanese, American or what ever. One thing that he will understand is that you love him, I know its hard but its about time that you tell him that you love him. You and your dad need to here that from each other. First time just slip it in as he is headed out the door, or better yet tell him as you are going to bed you both will sleep better. Dads know that you love them without saying it..but saying helps in so many ways i would just say I Love You Dad! and it gets easy-er from that point......

Answer 4

your dad will already know how much you love him. sometimes its not about how to say it but how to show it. he will know by the respect you show him, being there or keeping in touch, going to him for advice etc.. these and more are all things you wouldnt bother to do if there was no love between you.

If you really feel you have to tell him though, put it in a letter and tell him in that letter that you find it difficult to tell him to his face but you really want him to know, don't expect an answer or a reply he may never mention it to you as i asume he probably finds it difficult to tell you the same things but i dont think theres a doubt that he will feel a better person and very glad to here how much you love, care and respect him, what parent wouldnt be. good luck.

Answer 5

Send him an email with a link to this page, you will see he'll tll you that he loves you and he will tell you the best to do it, if not, he will know how you feel.
If you cannot say it, write it, type it, record it: CD, Video...
there are many ways..
Get a him a "Best Father of the World" card and tell him that you love him..

Answer 6

Never told stepfather I loved him for 14 years.Respected the man he taught me so much but he was old fashion and hard.After a weekend visit was walking out the door gave mom a big ole hug.Turned to my stepfather we shook hands like always and I simply said Love Ya.Took him by surprise.The look on his face was straight.He simply said yea ok then said love you too.I walked away knowing I he just said something we hadn't said for years.Point is you can say it yes you will have the jitters but just say it.No harm done and you will feel better(he will too even if he don't admit it ).Even if you don't say it but ever blue moon

Answer 7

Do you know his birthday? Give him a special surprise on his birthday and tell him you love him very much. You can even write it and put it inside the parcel. Good luck.

Answer 8

Sometimes actions speak louder than words. Maybe just do something special for him that will show him you love him.

Answer 9

Yup Asian families. I know what you mean. Just treat him well and be nice to him. Especially get good grades in sschool, stay out of trouble and he will feel it.

Answer 10

Hugs, Hugs and hugs.... then tell him how much u really think of him and how lucky you are to have him as a father.