Right. ive liked this girl for some time now and i came out of a long term relationship of 4 and a half years two months ago. Any way this girl has a boyfriend however we keep getting together on nights out but then she gets funny a few days later and says weve gotta stop this, but it all happens again next time we go out. Usually i wouldnt bother with someone in a relationship but her boyfriend treats her really badly and always cheats on her. Any way i've fallen for this girl but i dont know what to do or say to her other then when were on a night out.
2007-11-18 23:06:53 · 12 answers · asked by Bill J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She's a cheater and you're on the rebound.
What's wrong with this picture?
If her boyfriend is treating her so badly, why does she stay?
And you've just gotten out of a 4 1/2 year relationship just 2 months ago. You haven't even given yourself time to mourn over your loss.
You're attracted to this girl because you know she's not really available to you. And truth be told, you're not really ready for a relationship either.
She's your transitional woman. So it's okay if you don't see her all the time. You're really glad that she belongs to another. That way you don't have to commit to her.
Just be honest with yourself. You're using her. And she's using you. But you're both okay with it because she's miserable in her current relationship and you're hurting over your breakup.
What you should do is stop the madness.
Take time to mourn your loss without this girl in your life. And let her go and be with her cheating, treating-her-badly boyfriend.
As long as the two of you continue to use each other as a crux, she'll continue to be in this going-no-where-relationship (because she'll have you to soothe her pain) and you'll never fully get over your lost love (because you'll have her to soothe your pain).
2007-11-18 23:23:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if her boyfriend does what you say that he does, and she has a blast with you, then she should be with you. I'd say, drop her an email, spill your guts to her and tell her how great it would be if the two of you were together, and how her curent boyfriend doesn't deserve her. Tell her about the good times you two have had together as well and the way you feel about her and everything. Then call her up and tell her that you wrote her an email and that she needs to read it and get back to you. Now, at least you've done all you can do and the decision is in her hands. Good luck!!
2007-11-18 23:14:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her what you feel about her and say that you will respect any decision that she might want to take but that you won't be comfortable going out with her until she has decided her own position with her boyfriend and you. Tell her that she is such a good friend of yours, you are uncomfortable in such a position and would prefer to take a break too. Then, stop calling her or taking initiatives to meet her. However, treat her gently when she calls you or comes to meet you.
If she tells you anything about her bf and how he is torturing and harassing her, tell her that you will do anything she wants you to do but will not take any step until she tells exactly what she expects from you and that she is the one who has to stop any kind of abuse happening to herself.
Be kind but maintain the distance. If you both are really in love, she will eventually realize that and fear of losing you, will make her take the step she has been hesitating to take, i.e., leave her bf and be yours forever. However, if she is just toying with a notion of being a two-timer, this distance will reel her off, which will actually be a good thing for you and your heart.
2007-11-18 23:54:28 · answer #3 · answered by Smriti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen dude....i know a person who has gone thru a same kinda experience...."He broke up with his GF from a long term relationship & out of the blue got hooked to this gal who already had a BF but was not happy with him (at least thats wht she said), she complained of him treating her badly n even beating her & our beloved friend swallowed her story & fell for her.....she was ther with him hardly for a month or so, took a hefty amount of money from him saying that she will return it as soon as she is back frm her native place & fled. They also had decided to get married & lot other things....one thing is that she lived with him all that month & even before breaking up with her BF she slept with my friend for a hell lot of times.....so beware untill u r sure tht the girl is not lying or her story is not fabricated, just keep ur distance coz u've already gone thru a bad phase breakin up with ur gf after 4 yrs of relationship & I wouldn't suggest u gettin into a similar but worse situation....take care & gud luck.
2007-11-19 08:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by My Soul...guess who...my Rooh!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, for starters, dont try to start a relationship with her because she has a boyfriend already. what is between her and her boyfriend are her issues, and it would suck for you to butt in. i say that you keep your feelings for her toned down a bit, like, just friends for now, until she realizes the mistake shes making with her boyfriend. good luck! :)
2007-11-18 23:11:17 · answer #5 · answered by mcr_fanatic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've got to talk to her and try to explain what you think coz its pretty obvious that she has feelings for you so she'll understand. if her boyfriend treats her badly and cheats on her, she won't be happy about it if she finds out so i think you or one of your friend should tell her about her boyfriend and I'm sure they will break up.
2007-11-18 23:14:08 · answer #6 · answered by zari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should get some witnesses together or take a picture of him cheating or if she really does trust you then tell her because if he is one of them like who don't care about anyone then she needs to know
good luck xmwahx
2007-11-18 23:10:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not simple for you but you should leave her on her risk. Some people do not understand the importance of their own life.
2007-11-18 23:12:11 · answer #8 · answered by mak 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her that you are better than her boyfriend and tell her how you feel.
2007-11-18 23:10:34 · answer #9 · answered by ljohnyl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try hinting at her saying u know if u didnt have a bf i would kiss you right now..
2007-11-18 23:11:13 · answer #10 · answered by cinnamon apple 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋