How do i cope with death of a loved one?

Question

my mom juz passed away last week, to be exact its 8 days now. yes i am still mourning. but how i do picked up the pieces and move on with life? its extremely hard, i have my faith, my husband as pillars of my strength but its to cope with it.
Life took a different turn, ive lost my confidante, companion and much more...& we are very attached...

help me pls.........sob sob

p/s: it feels like im being robbed of being "me"

Thanks for the lovely answers.

it kinda helped me a little as i pour through the answers.

Answer 1

You will feel like a part of you is lost... and thats because it is... Getting over death isnt really an option, its more like learning to live with the fact that she is gone.

The first year will be the hardest, after that its just time...

Try going to a counciler when you are ready, talk about it all, it can really help - also try not to shut your husband or your other loved ones out of your life, sometimes this is hard but they are just trying to help.

Try to reach into that little bit of inner strength and let it grow.

I am so sorry for your loss....
xxx

Answer 2

my dear heart, you were not robbed of being you, it is just a different path now. My mom and I are best friends. We always said to each other that "...if you go first, you come and let me know right away if there is something on the other side and if you can be by my side always..." I will share with you what happened to me: the 10 of Oct. my mother died in my truck. I was close enough to a hospital to get her there. they shocked her heart a few times and got her going again. The told us she would be a vegetable. At 4:00 am the next morning I was woke up by my mother. She woke me in the same way she has woke all my life...she was in the ICU and I was at home in bed (there were tons of family there with her)...I told her I loved her and I was ok with whatever she chose to do...it was 4:00 am that she started to open her eyes and by 5:00 am she was squeezing hands for yes and no...you see, there is someplace after here and yes, your mother is with you ALL WAYS...I will keep you in the prayers of my heart...the loss of a parent is very hard! Take each day, one at a time. When it is really hard for you, stop, take a deep breath in, hold it for ten seconds, let it out slow, then do it two more times. Ask your mom for help to cope...

Answer 3

Losing a parent is amazingly hard especially when the parent was close to a good friend. Mourning is a process. Your mum's absence will never get entirely filled but think of how happy she wanted you to be. She brought you to this world and she had no regrets for doing so because she loved you.

Think of the time you had together and how much she loved you. Just remember her and the pain, though it will not entirely go, will subside soon.

Sorry for your loss, hope you will feel better soon.

Answer 4

One of the gifts of healing is the relaxation of memories centered in grief. This is a good thing. It is a critical thing. These once sharp and painful memories recede, they are no longer the obsession of your every moment, but move to their proper place: a turning point that you will never truly forget.

So please do not feel worried if, after almost 20 years, your healing has brought you to hold your mother in your heart always, not just on one particular, special, but sad day. Be at peace. Enjoy life. I am sure that is exactly what she is doing now too.

Answer 5

My soon to be step children lost their mom a few years ago. Even though i have never lost anyone close to me, i know it has to be hard every holiday, birthday, etc so I wanted to do something special to remember their mom for them. We decided to buy an angel ornament every year and to buy for a needy child every Christmas in her name. This won't make it any easier to deal with the fact that she isn't here to celebrate with them, but it gives us a positive thing to focus on rather than just the fact that she's gone. Maybe you could do something similar to help you focus on a positive memory of your mom too. You will never and should never forget, but you can learn how to accept your loss and how to deal with your emotions. Counceling will def help you, remember focus on the good and all of those happy memories and hopefully they will balance out some of the bad that you feel.

Answer 6

You will feel like your alone but your not. My mother passed this past July so sudden. Within a day she was gone. It's hard but I know you'll get through it. You can only take it one day at a time. Memories will remind you constantly for a while. You'll still feel like it's a dream but you come to realize what's going on. This is normal as normal can be. So hang on. My prayers go out to you and your family for your loss.

Answer 7

You must keep going on with your life. You will all ways think of your love one. I lost my mom when i was very young and i am so lucky to have wonder full memories. You are very lucky to have people around that under stand what you are going through.

Answer 8

take each day as it comes. The pain never goes it just grows less sharp. Plant a tree or bush that you can look after. As you watch it grow your memories and your grief find a natural order.
Sorry for your loss.

Answer 9

Oh sweetie..I am so sorry for you losing your Mom.I don't know what to say...I am just so sorry.Know inside that everyone is here for you and you are not alone.Your Mom wouldn't like to see you so upset.I'm sure she sees you..make her proud every day that you can and remember when you can't that she still loves you-and when you need her-dream..she will come to you.I promise.

Answer 10

i lost my 18 yr old son 13 wks tomorrow to suicide im still as raw and heartbroke now than i was when it happened all i can tell you is remember the good and live because thats what she would have wanted u to do