How can i handle two teenage kids, that are disrespectful and rebellious?

Question

Hi

I'm inlove with this man that has two teenage kids, a boy 14 years and a girl 16 years. Their mother is late now 9 months, The kids don't like me coming to their house to visit the father. And a couple nights i had to sneak into the house to be with him. The kids are aware of this. I told my boyfriend that its risky for me to be coming to the house as the children don't want me there. He says its his house to. The children have alot of outside influence, like my boyfriends mother and his late wifes sisters. They keep telling the children to watch out for me, their father might spend all his money on me. The kids are scared that i will take their money. I was at the house yesterday, and the girl was away, the boy was in the shop helping. I girl knew i was at the house and she asked the brother to come check for himself. My car was in the driveway, and this boy, took a brick and broke my side window. How can i live like this, the children are dictating their fathers life. plz help.

Answer 1

I understand how you feel but you have to see it from their point of view! They just lost their mother and they probably need their father's attention more than ever since she's gone. I'm sure they are angry because they think you are moving in on their mother's territory and they feel it's disrespectful to her and them because they are still grieving and consider their mother's bed and things sacred! And in a way they are! They don't know you and don't want to know you. You are an outsider trying to take their only other parent they have left away. They don't want anyone to replace their mother's place in the family. Can you understand? Remember it's their home also. Let them have their own haven. The father should know better than to be selfish and dismiss their feelings and let you sleep with him in her bed! How disgraceful! Why isn't this man taking you out? Why are you driving to his house? I don't think he's putting forth much effort to impress you. Don't fall into 'playing the wife' role for his sake. Let him come to you. Let him call you. Let him take you out. A man will try to get away with as much as you let him get away with. I can't see how this man can possibly make you feel special. Especially making you sneak around. Grow up! I think he's just using you at his convenience and that's pretty pitiful on your part. Take a huge step back and look at this picture. Is this the relationship you've always dreamed of? He may never marry you and give you kids of your own. Especially if you're giving it away for free. If you do marry this man, you will have to deal with his kids and her family for the rest of your life! And it won't get any better any time soon! They will always dispise you even if you are the sweetest person. That's a lot of stress to take on for years and years unless a brick kills you first!

Answer 2

NOT the slightest bit! I'm daddy's little woman, continuously had/have a immediately four.zero I LOVE my mother and father and concentrate to them considering that they recognise satisfactory, however ordinarily I have AWESOME mother and father! My mother and I play with water weapons, and my dad is a genius who is aware of 7 special languages fluently, and has a PHD in arithmetic and Quantum technological know-how. But he's so a laugh! And my mother is a dentist (so I am rebellious towards the NO CANDY rule...)

Answer 3

Sorry, but since the children seem to be running that family and it appears the father is doing nothing about it, I'd be long gone and looking elsewhere. You are in for nothing but heartache....

Answer 4

Time for the father to put his foot down, and straighten them out. He is going to have big problems later if he doesn't!!! Thre is nothing that you can do. I sure hope that your bf paid for the damage, and made the boy pay it back to him.