I love my bf but things have to change. He has gotten really lazy. Some weekends I buy all the meals. I make 3x more than him but he can buy some too. He brings his laundry over and I end up doing it. I had a talk b4 about him helping me with it but it seems like I have to nag him to help This weekend was tiring as I drove him around, cooked everything, cleaned up after him, did his laundry. He doesn't drive so I have to drive but he could be more considerate of my time. He has gotten too comfortable. I don't want to break up with him but how do I give him a kick in the pants to get him to do his share in the relationship? I don't even want to see him this weekend as it wears me out and I'm angry at myself for being too nice.
2007-11-18 21:38:17 · 17 answers · asked by justpassingthruhere333 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
More details. We don't live together. I'm a manager and he does tech support. Thanks!
2007-11-18 21:51:32 · update #1
Sweetie... you have a right to be angry. Don't allow him to treat you this way... he is fully taking advantage of you. You need to cool your relationship with him, and let him "fend" for himself for awhile. Give him a taste of "real life" without you. If you don't, he will continue down this lazy path, and you will forever be frustrated. Also, your resentment towards him for doing this will only escalate. He has no right to treat you this way.
2007-11-18 21:47:55 · answer #1 · answered by Racer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've changed the dynamics of your relationship. It's now become more like a mother and son kind of relationship. You must stop doing his laundry. Next weekend he visits you, put his dirty laundry back in his bag and tell him where the detergent and fabric softeners are.
Let him use your washing machine to do his laundry. Also, you have to let him be a man and treat you out sometime, even if it's to McDonald's, otherwise you're just killing the chemistry and interest.
Tell him that you would like it if you both cooked together in the kitchen. Ask him to give you a hand to clean up afterwards as well.
I think you've made him into a son figure and he's become your gigolo and he's happy riding along.
2007-11-19 05:50:13 · answer #2 · answered by Muga Wa Kabbz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeahh it seems like your doing a little to much, when hes not helping out his share of the relationship. Which is not good, so if i was you i would just straight tell him how it is. Like say that you love him and everything and dont wanna break up with him but if he dont clean up his act soon...i would get rid of him. Because if he really loved you he would not want to lose you and he should do what hes suppose to in the relationship. Cus remember it takes TWO people to have a relationship...Not just you. So he needs to step it up :)
2007-11-19 05:44:40 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa_Loves_You07 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
break up with him and spoil me instead!!! lol
in this circumstance, he should definatley be doing something to increase his value/contribution to the relationship and hes not....and most people dont change....so ditch em...
im in the same situation witha chick who contributes absolutely nothing, and in fact its a drain on other areas of your life as well...i feel more like her dad than a bf and that feeling will never go away so shes out by the end of nov. you should do the same maybe we could hook these two people up and they can be lazy together. lol
sounds like you make decent money; so if your in good shape, and at least have average looks, then you have nothing to worry about....youll be pimpin in no time!
2007-11-19 05:58:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate man like this. They don't have cooperation with their partners.
It is very rare you'll find a guy who got initiatives.
If you love him and he loves you and cares about your relationship ... you can talk it over again and compromise...otherwise ... if he remains the same .... think 1000 times, if you are willing to share your life with this kind of 'lazy butt' guy.
Relationship cannot be successful alone ... it always needs two to tango. Sharing .... helping each other ....
Don't waste your time on this kind of irresponsible guy. You can find more better than him.
Throw him out.
2007-11-19 06:00:14 · answer #5 · answered by always confuse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try stop doing what you're doing first, and just do what you need to do for yourself, even when he's around. If he still didn't say anything or do something, try swapping the situation around. Instead of him coming over to your place, you should go over to his place and let him do all the work. If that doesn't work too, then sit him down for a serious conversation.
2007-11-20 20:10:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dam this guy must be livin it to the fullest real talk he is abusin of u..dam u make three times as much as him looks like workin at mcdonalds and gettin paid below mimium wage..u should talk to him cuz welll its pretty messed up..if he doesn't listen he gotts to go...this is ur fault also for lettin him be in the driver seat..now he's all comfortable..give him a scare...like kick him out for a day or don't do anything for him this should get him back on track..
2007-11-19 05:53:12 · answer #7 · answered by u make me wanna say O.M.G lol 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that it is time for him to start contributing his share to the relationship. Tell him what the problems are. If he does not make an effort, then you know that he is just using you.
2007-11-19 05:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
thats always the point we love but we dont like to be hurt.. so, my piece of advice is that.. stop doing all the things.. try to tell him you are going somewhere.. for a month or two. hands off totally so he can value you.. or will realize that if you arent there... will he survive... but if within two months you can go without him... go on, be alone.. and be happy.. if not, at least you can go back withour hurting anyone.
2007-11-19 05:44:51 · answer #9 · answered by AiLan W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you adopted a baby.
You have to put a stop to everything that you do for him.
Put your foot down and stand up for yourself. Tell him that he can't come back till he gets his act together.
Remember, men respond to action.
-You can do this. Just stick to your guns.
2007-11-19 05:45:24 · answer #10 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋