is this the cure for relationship insecurity?

Question

ok, they always say "insecurity" and "low self-esteem" is the root of all jealousy. so work on your self-esteem, right? but surely it is unreasonable to believe that you are the BEST lover your partner could ever have, and that your partner could NEVER leave you, and that you are THE MOST attractive person around... B***S*** i say!
everyone has to live with the RISK of being rejected, and the knowledge that we are not perfect, there are always going to be other people around who your partner could run off with.
so, what do we do? how do you improve your own sense of "security" , and your self esteem. surely this does not mean we should create a DELUSION that we will never be rejected or upstaged by another?

Answer 1

Success would never be as gratifying without the possibility of failure. If you know when you set out on a venture that it is bound to work out well, where's the challenge? I feel I need to be careful how much I tell you, even though I have nothing but good news to share. Still, though, if you hear it and believe it, where will be your motivation? And, how will you live without the dramatic tension of uncertainty? Don't be too eager to dispel all doubt. A little mystery may yet give rise to a lot of magic.

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Answer 2

Well, it is better to have a healthy self esteem rather than a low self esteem because you're going to drag your other half to feel insecure also. They might not be the best but if you have a healthy self esteem you will make them feel secure that you will love them unconditionally despite there inperfections. It is not a delusion. It is you who are at question here. There is no such thing as a much better person. Everyone is unique. Each individual has there own strength and weaknesses. Don't compare it's unhealthy for you and your relationship. If the time comes that they will leave you it is not because you are not the "better" person it is because you and your partner just aren't meant for each other and some other predisposing factors.

Answer 3

To have a sense of security, is simply to be confident in your integrity level as a high sincerity person, and this will give you an indignant confidence over time, as discernment levels increase. Try to find, hold, and keep the "center of yourself" through seeing the sameness in others. consider the "vastness of vast" and the simultaneous "inward shrinking" toward the "center of self" is "realization of existence experience".... a blissful euphoric perceptive correlation. Our self important tendencies, to filter and fabricate, presumptuously individualistic interpretations, cannot change the simple logic, the absolute fact that, no one, could ever perceive this differently, from another. A clean slate as a baby's day one, an "action reaction" product of everyone else from that point forward, and always. If you could line up, all who ever were, and ever will be, at that same moment, ....they are all the same person right? THEREFORE its just as if we are all the same person anyways! Only those of us who see the 99% sameness will see the 1% difference as "precious and interesting" while the pathetic (slower to evolve) others negatively exagerate that 1% difference and seeing others as inferior and cumbersome in some way. Remember the happy people out there are looking outwardly toward others, "self loathing" the key word being "self" ..please don't think I am being "preachy" know it all" here...I constantly have to remind myself these things as am also like all others, feeling alienated, and wanting to belong.

Answer 4

alot of people practice the art of detachment, but then you just become phony, happy people are looking outwardly, if you just did that most of the time, people (self doubts of their own) will naturally attract to you, mostly because you seem interested in them, this will make you not only more attractive but more popular and self confident as well. You are less likely to be worried about some gal dumping you when 10 others are waiting in a line. But to be totally honest...the guy above marzandy was it?...he answered as "real" as someone could be.

Answer 5

first of all we should not forget that we are animals with all the animal instincts of possessiveness, jealousy and so. these things by birth vary in intensity from person to person.As we are socialized we try to overcome this by various methods but they remain deep inside us waiting to be unmasked one day or other. so its natural for any one to be jealous.

the thought of your partner leaving you comes when there is no proper understanding about your partner and your relationship.whether a person sticks to a relationship or not depends on his basic understanding of the relationships that no one is perfect in this world and everyone has got his positives and negatives and jumping from one relation to other in the expectation of finding a better person is futile.for you to feel secure or insecure you should be knowing whether your partner belongs to the above category or not. if he thinks in the above said way then you can always be secure.

if you are interested in a long term relation then see that your partner is of the understanding as said above. then you are 99% safe. And there is always a chance, may be 0.9% even high or low that your partner may find his perfect match.to avoid this u cannot be watchful 24*7 which will spoil your relation. just relax and let god and fate do their work.

attraction means different things for different people. one sees physical appearence, one sees grace in the behaviuor, one sees intelligence as atractive and so on. if one finds attraction only in the physical appearance then he will never be satisfied with one person and a new neighbor always looks attractive than your partner.

Answer 6

There is a very simple answer to this question. It is called self love. No matter how much one rejects you, you must have enough love for yourself to say "Hey it is their loss" to whomever does not deem you worthy.
It is not a delusion for you to think that there is not one other person on this Earth who can touch you. God made you unique, and you will never find another you like you in this world. So be the BOMB that you know you are and walk with the swagger that exudes it.

Answer 7

Having good self esteem is not about thinking you are the best at everything, and of course life is about taking risks, it's called having a mature outlook, knowing your strengths and weaknesses and playing up your strong points.

Answer 8

avert drama queens, abusers and administration Freaks. first of all in case you have been informed you're imagining issues, you're in basic terms being insecure or which you're loopy -- you likely are actually not. in basic terms listening to that popping out of your companion could be a extensive purple Flag. There are somewhat some human beings accessible who're addicted to drama or who've abuse matters. those human beings will domesticate lack of self assurance in a relationship, with a view to dominate the different guy or woman and to experience on top of issues. Love shouldn't harm - in any way. Love isn't approximately making your companion experience jealous and insecure. evade people who attempt to dominate you with jealousy and different emotional innovations video games. maximum severe don't get entangled with a unethical guy or woman. specially - if a guy or woman is cheating in one factor, then they are probably cheating in maximum issues. each new relationship merits a sparkling slate. in case you have believe matters from yet another relationship then you might desire to sparkling them away earlier you enter a sparkling relationship. except the guy you're in touch with is proved a cheater (he/she has cheated on you interior the previous or cheated with you collectively as with somebody else) they deserve the income of the doubt. do not assume your companion has the comparable relationship values and expectancies as you do. It enables to communicate your desires and expectancies of a relationship earlier you enter the relationship.

Answer 9

No, just try to be more selective when giving your heart. Take your time, and hope for the best.

Answer 10

well u been studying and SHITT like that boy it's true though but mostly people dont want to get hurt so they do that kinda of thing