Here is the situation. I am dating someone who I have to let go. When we first started dating it was every once in awhile. She is a nice woman who is looking for love, but she also one of the most boring people I know. Ironically, although boring, she is passionate about putting the pressure on me to get married (mind you we are both divorced). She wants to have another child (she has one and I have two from prev relationships) and I dont want anymore children. For the last couple of months I have been debating on how to let her know that my heart is not in it anymore, but I usually chicken out at the last minute. The one thing I know is that I cannot start the New Year dating this woman anymore. Any suggestions on how to gracefully bow out would be appreciated. I wanted to tell her that I was moving out of state, but knowing her she would quit her job and follow right after. Please help!!!!!!! :-(
2007-11-18 19:53:05 · 4 answers · asked by gatlic1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Also I need suggestions on how to tell her. Do I tell her over dinner, at a Starbucks? I cant tell her over the phone. I owe her more than that.
2007-11-18 20:35:42 · update #1
Just be honest with her. You owe her that much after dragging her along all this time because of being afraid to tell her the truth. She and you deserve better than you can give each other it seems. Season your words with salt. Just tell her like you said that you don't have the same desires she has, the same goals and your heart is just not with hers. It will hurt her, but at least she can begin to heal and move on, too. It seems you already have. Lying about where you're going or why you don't want to date her would only make things worse. If she is any kind of woman, like I am, she can take it and will be JUST FINE.
2007-11-18 19:58:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha, you are funny. Breaking up is hard and it is going to hurt (at least someone). I really don't think there is anything you can do about it. DO not tell her she is boring though. You don't need to hurt her feelings more than you are breaking her heart. Tell her you two aren't compatible. Does she know you don't want kids and that you aren't willing to change your mind. Just tell her you really need time away from anyone right now. The less personal the better. You could say you need to focus on your job or career right now (depending on what you do). Just try to think of non personal ways you can tell her you don't want to be in a relationship anymore.
2007-11-19 04:03:34 · answer #2 · answered by KatieL 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest, and tell her that it seems that the two of you have grown apart, and have different goals in life now. Tell her that you are not interested in ever getting married or having any more children. Tell her that you feel that she needs to find someone that will fill that void for her. Tell her that she is a nice person, and that you hope that the two of you can remain friends.
If she doesn't let go, move and change your phone number!! lol
2007-11-19 03:59:05 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's difficult, but you have to force yourself to do it. She will be hurt, but don't let that keep you in a relationship that you do not want. Once you break up, break off all contact with her. No phone calls, no e-mails, no letters. Giving her false hope will just put you right back where you don't want to be.
2007-11-19 04:09:40 · answer #4 · answered by kdean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋