Before marrying the fruitcake, i only knew him for 4 months so his "mental problems" were not apparent. Several months later we divorced, BUT i was 7 months preggo at the time.
He never offered any help whatsoever while I was pregnant. During that time I moved into my own place, worked full time till the day i
delivered, and did everythign on my own from the time separated till now. My son is now 8 months old and his father has been NO help financially towads my son. In fact, he fears the state is after him (they arent cause I havent filed for anything) so I found out thru his family that he won't work and hasnt ince his birth. In fact, he's staying at homeless shelters in his car, etc. just so he looks broke in case he gets served wth papers. The reason I havent filed is because I dont want im getting visitation cause he can't even take care of himself, so how could he take care of my boy?? His name is not on the birth certificate for obvious reasons...
2007-11-18 19:29:58 · 13 answers · asked by Suzy R. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I havent allowed him to se his son cause I think it's crappy he's basically screwing his son and me...he's capable of working but won't..am i wrong for doing this to a jerk who wants to label himself as a father but doesnt wanna pay the price??
2007-11-18 19:32:07 · update #1
As for his mental problems..he has schizotypal disorder which is something along the lines of schizophrenia
2007-11-18 19:34:15 · update #2
Get legal help. If you are taking action to refuse visitations, you need to C.Y.A. and get legal help before he does. settle custody and payments ON the state books, TRUST me.. it makes it SO MUCH easier & less emotionally damaging than putting your child in the middle while you argue it out with him.
Children should have access to both parents (special circumstances not withstanding)
2007-11-18 19:36:09 · answer #1 · answered by roguebarb 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You probably don't have a legal right to deny him visitation because he doesn't pay child support. But you SHOULD deny him visitation because he is mentally ill and obviously isn't getting treatment. I don't think you would have to worry about him getting any kind of custody with that kind of diagnosis and behavior, and I don't think he should/would get any visits unless they are supervised and he is being successfully treated. He also obviously doesn't have any of the basics needed to care for the baby if he is in shelters and his car.
It does NOT sound to me like he is actually capable of holding a job. He is probably suffering from paranoia, and having some sort of delusional thoughts or something. Some mental illnesses work in cycles- OK for a while, then worse and worse, then better for a bit, etc.
Definitely talk to a lawyer before filing and figure out what to do and what you need to document so he won't get any visits at all, at least for the time being. Also, if money is a problem, there are usually legal programs where you can get services for lower rates or for free depending on your situation and income level. Ask around/ call the county/city etc. and find out about what resources are available in your area.
2007-11-18 20:00:08 · answer #2 · answered by .x 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the little bit you wrote, I know you'd have NO problem getting full custody of your son! The courts will see he is a unfit parent! Don't worry! Go file for child support. What this jerk off don't realize is that even though he's not working, the government is the one that pays for child support no matter what. They keep track of what they give to you, and when the time comes that they find this LOSER, they'll smack him with a fat bill due to them! He'll owe the government! If he don't pay up, he'll loose his license first. If he still won't pay he'll go to jail. So if he wants to be stupid, just do what you got to do. Go file!!!!
Best Wishes
2007-11-18 19:40:28 · answer #3 · answered by Rain 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is not about money. Is he capable of being a parent? is it capable of being loving to the child? He is a very poor role model. Would it be better for the boy to know him? Fatherless boys often have problems. Are supervised visits possible? What is the attitude of his parents toward the granchild? Do they know about him?Many things to consider. Maybe a family therapist and or attorney can help you make a good decision that will help your boy.
2007-11-18 19:43:35 · answer #4 · answered by Nora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is that fair to your son? Perhaps he has the right to know his own father. (Even if dad's a jerk.) If he is truly mentally ill, supervised visitation would be necessary. BTW Some people that are mentally ill are not capable of holding a consistent job.
2007-11-18 19:34:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question is not of right and wrong, or dollars and sense, or justification for your actions.... Its all about your son. I would like to think, that children don't need a dad, Ive been a single mum for 6 years now, and I can tell you, that unfortunately they do. They can live without one, obviously, but it has many carry through effects through out their life. Think of your child... of what is best for him and of whether, with support, his father could be a positive life influence. There you will find your answer.
2007-11-18 19:36:27 · answer #6 · answered by Vicarious 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you're able to desire to document against him with the state lawyer common. additionally, if he falls at the back of and continues to be at the back of they're going to hold his earnings tax refund, merely exceeded off to my ex, he filed in april and thought he became getting back $3000, yet they gov. held it and sent it to the ag's place of work and that i've got been given the examine in september. I stay in Texas, however the ag's enforcement for help should not be that distinctive, good success.
2016-09-29 12:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to see his son he should be allowed. If it isn't safe make sure you have people with the baby. If his parents are decent make sure your son gets to know them.
Your son should know who is family is and not hear a bad word about them from you. Never tell your son if his father is supporting him or not, he will figure it out himself and wouldn't want you trashing his father.
2007-11-18 19:35:41 · answer #8 · answered by shipwreck 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
OMG! thank god he is not on the birth certificate. Is there any chance you could make a new start somewhere else to avoid him all together and save yourself and your son the trauma and pain of this man which sounds like a waste of space.
2007-11-18 19:34:52 · answer #9 · answered by dawson_brister 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if hes living at a homeless shelter its not about looking broke, he is mentally ill. You will never get anything out of this loser. I would advise not getting him involved with your son. You are independent with out him in the first place. Keep away
2007-11-18 19:36:09 · answer #10 · answered by Tell It Like it is 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋