I am in Iraq, and have family trouble back home in Germany, how do I convince my commander to let me go home?

Question

My wife is looking at possible back surgery, and just had a biopsy where they found cancerous cells, more testing is needed, but with two young children, making it to appointments is all but impossible for her. I want to go home and take care of my family because our rear detachment is lousy at taking care of familes, which happens to be their main mission while troops are downrange so we can perfom our missions without worry. I am worried for my wife, she cries on the phone because she is torn between our two children, and her own health. Any suggestions to make my chain of command realize that if our rear D doesn't want to help out my wife, that I need to go home so I can????

Answer 1

you can also use emergency leave. your wife would call the Red Cross and they will send the unit a message. from there, they will notify you and you can usually get out of there pretty quick.

you should also let your chain of command know about the situation and the severity. i dont think you should have a problem getting back there, the army usually tries to take care of you and your family if possible. i dont see them making you stay there, while your wife has major surgery and your kids run wild across europe. good luck, and i hope it all goes well.

Answer 2

YOur wife should contact the Red Cross to start the process of your at least getting home for some emergency leave while she finishes some of her tests. You also need to start going through your chain of command, as well as talking with the chaplin. You may not get sent home permanently (there are many stories of soldiers who's families went through even more serious issues than your wife is facing and had to go back) but it is going to take a lot of work on your part to make things happen. You may also want to get a copy of any medical reports on your wife's prognosis and any treatment plans as soon as possible. You don't mention if your wife is German or simply living in Germany on base while you are deployed. If she is not German, you may want to also look into having the military move your wife and kids back to the states on emergency orders, with you to follow after your tour, so she can be closer to family and friends for the help she will need to get surgery and any treatements.

Answer 3

The Red Cross will probably only be able to provide a temp solution to your problem by allowing you to be home for the surgery. You need to talk with your First Sergeant and your Chaplin. They are the best two people help out with these sort of problems and have probably have scene simular situations in the past. They also probably can lay your case out infront of the commander better then you can since they see the big picture and can really advise the commander if your unit will be less combat ineffective with one less troop there. If your a squared away troop, that will help. If your one of those guys who drags his feet everywhere, these guys probably wont go the extra mile for you.

Best of luck to you and your wife with the surgery, I hope they can get you back to Germany.

Answer 4

Sorry to hear about your troubles -- is your wife involved with the FRG? This is the whole reason it exists to help out each other. She needs to speak to her FRG leader, CO's wife and the rear D. You need to speak to the CO and go from there.
Unfortunatly she may have to suck it up and use the FRG - as a military wife I know it's hard but you MUST trust people sometimes quickly and get over the only my hubby can help mindset. Not making appointments is not a reason for you to be sent back - they may choose to send you back to help her get set up with friends/FRG and rear D but you won't stay long if they do.This is NOT a reason for you to be sent to the rear. They could also make you wait until the additional testing is done as well - you will need documentation from the Dr and Chaplains. There is also may be PWOC or other chapel affilated ladies groups who can help - but no one can help if they don't know about it. What about your local church and extended family? Perhaps a younger family member could come and stay with her.
I feel your pain but you have to jump through the hoops first -- on both ends. The Army has made GREAT strides to help families and while there are still stupid commands out there there are also great resources : FRG, Rear D, ACS, Military Family support, Chaplains, Civilian Churches, PWOC/MCCW etc.
Best wishes.

Answer 5

Wow! Sorry to hear this about your wife. I know it must be worrying you both sick.

If your commander won't hear you, I would try the Chaplain. Your wife needs to get ahold of the Red Cross and see if they can do anything for you. There may even be a thing as hardship... I only knew one person that ever did this, but she was stateside.

But... when my husband was over there, this Sgt on his team got a call from the Red Cross and his 2 yr old daughter died and they only gave him 2 weeks off (on chargeable leave) and made him go back... they are pretty F***ing cold about that stuff... Your wife and you are in my prayers and thank you for your sacrifice.

Answer 6

Try having your wife contact your Unit Chaplain, FRG, Chain of Command and/or Red Cross, these are all good resources. God Bless and Best of Luck!

Answer 7

go thru your religious chapter at base and at home getting them together by e-mail so your chaplain can get a overview from a non-related person back home.This could get the slow wheels of the military moving in your direction.

Answer 8

you have to go through channels. have your wife contact the chaplain's office if the rear det is not helpful.

Answer 9

Use the chain of command, and tell him the truth.

Answer 10

isn't there any way to file a hardship case. my friends husband came home from Iraq when she had a miscarriage.