Keep cat or take back and get a different cat?

Question

A week ago I adopted a young female cat from the Spca. I choose a young female because she seemed friendly. I was trying to find a similar cat to the one I own. I have a young friendly female cat who I thought could use a friend. I been keeping the new cat in my bathroom while I am sleeping or away. I let her out daily to play with the other cat, but they seem to not like each other. Another thing now when I pet the new cat she will claw me when shes in my lap. She has done this three times, making me not want to pet her, fearing she will claw again. She also has been messing on the floor. I have three cat boxes around the house. I have one in the bathroom and two in the living area. I even changed the cat litter to a non scent litter. She does go in the box when she is closed in the bathroom. I know it takes time for cats to adjust, but Im not sure if she will adjust. I would hate to bring her back, but I was thinking about trading for another one. Would I being doing right?

Answer 1

It is really nice that you are concerned for the cat. I'll tell you this: if you take her back, you'll likely go through the same thing with the next cat. It takes more than a week for a cat, especially an adult or near-adult cat, to adapt to a new place, especially if there is another cat already there. It will take even longer for the two cats to learn to accept one another. Show the cat that you will not accept having it claw you, and it will eventually stop. Otherwise, all you can do is wait it out.

Answer 2

I was kind of in the same boat you were. I bought this kitten and I was told it was litter box trained and I was told she was friendly with other cats because she is around other cats all the time, well when I got her home to my wonderful surprise I had nice little brown presents and pee on my bed. I saw her go in the litter box earlier, so I didn't understand it. I called the woman back up and she told me it does take time to adjust. She gave me some advice and I went with it, hoping for anything because I didn't want to give the kitten up. She told me to keep the kitten in the bathroom with a litter box for a few days, letting her out every now and then to roam the home. Leave a dish of water and food and maybe a cat bed or lay down some towels on the floor for her to sleep and throw in a few toys if you have any, just so she isn't bored. If she is in the bathroom, go in and visit her and keep putting her in the litter box even if she doesn't go. This worked with my kitten and I believe she was in there for a total of 3 days, but I let her out and around the house when I was home, I was just able to keep an eye on her so when I saw her get ready to squat I would pick her up and run to the litterbox in the bathroom.

Also, since she will be in the bathroom the two cats can smell each other under the door and get used to each other's scent. It will take time as a lot of cats don't like each other in the very beginning because cats are VERY territorial. Believe me, she will adjust. They both will. Don't get rid of her or switch her out for another cat as the problem will most likely re-occur. It will just take some time and A LOT of patience. Good luck though!

Answer 3

This will take some time on your part and the cats part but it will work out.
The new cat is intimidated and is probably afraid to use the litter as the other is is likely stalking her. Or it could be the scent of your cat that has the new one worried. Is she clawing or kneading? If clawing, just put your hands over her paws and pet her. Don't let her continue to do this as a bad behavior. When she is more secure and knows that it's not acceptable she will stop. If she is kneading which is a natural thing for cats, get her claws clipped to take off those sharp edges ( this is what I do for my cat) Keeping them apart for long periods of time providing this new one is not a kitten who is unable to defend herself) is not a good idea. They have to hiss, smell, growl and even bat each other a few times before they get used to each other. As long as a big cat fight doesn't occur, don't worry.
Take the new one to the litter box several times a day and she will get the idea quickly. Pet and talk to them both, lots of positive attention. Remain calm, they can feel tension.
Your cats will learn to tolerate one another and may become good buddy's. She doesn't need to be returned, all of you just need time to adjust.

Answer 4

While Mr Taco is right, it does take some time for a new pet to adapt... I had a similar experience and ended up having to find a new home for my kitty. I was very unhappy but it was clear the 2 females were never going to get along. I even purchased a separate litter box and the new female just never would use it. My case may have been more severe because my new pet hid for almost 2 months in my attic and I had to bribe her into coming down by leaving trails of food on the steps and she would cry pitifully at the top of the stairs and woul not come down. when finally she did I had similar issues as you are having now and I really felt bad that I couldn't keep. Chin up you have the right intentions and good luck whatever you decide to do. I am not sure I would return her to the same place but maybe find a good home so they don't put her down.

Answer 5

I think that you should give her more time. Many cats take around a month to settle into a new home with a new owner. She doesn't yet know you well enough to trust you and is bound to be a little nervous of you and your other cat at first. Once she knows you better, she will feel more comfortable about being petted.

How is your other cat reacting to her arrival? As the new cat is using the litter box when she's in the bathroom, is there any possibility that your first cat is blocking her access to the other litter boxes?

The web articles below have lots of helpful advice on introducing cats to each other.

http://www.tulsa-animalshelter.org/tips/intro%20cat.htm
http://www.messybeast.com/first-impressions.htm

It's a stressful time for her at the moment, so be patient and give her more time. If she was friendly at the shelter, then once she settles in your home, she will feel more relaxed and sociable with you.

Answer 6

There are many websites that have tips and advice to people with cats who have behavior problems. This is, as others have said an adjustment problem. A week is too soon, cats aren't like clothes or other purchased items. You shouldn't bring it back but if you really think you cannot make the effort or feel as though you will harm the animal or dislike it, perhaps its better for both of you , to do that. I once had to find a nice home for my kind, loving animal, a cat. They told me she spent over three weeks plus before she would finally come out from under their bed and socialize a bit with the other animals, cats included. She still would only eat under the bed until the month was over. They put her food in her hiding place of choice. Also there are books on behaviors of cats, try www.faeries.com , GL and Gb.

Answer 7

I understand how frustrated you might be. On that note, think of how frustrated kitty is.

Was in a cage for awhile, had someone who loved her and took her to a house, only for another cat to not welcome her (normal.) She may be resorting to the clawing as a way to show dominance (is other kitty beating her up?) and isn't sure of your intentions. Because of her prior confinement she might need re-socialization. The more contact she has with humans the better. This way she knows that even if the other cat doesn't like her she can still turn to the human. Correct any unwanted behavior anytime it is displayed. You are the boss not the cat. The cat does what you want not the other way around. :-D

The litter box problems are the toughest and the ones people have the least amount of patience with. Because she goes in the box in the bathroom I think she's used to that due to her being confined at night and the other boxes aren't as suitable. Try bringing her to a different litter box periodically just in case she has to go and doesn't know. She might be a little frightened of the other cat and doesn't want to upset her by using her box or is too worried about the other cat to notice when she has to use the box herself. Female cats can be harder to adjust to each other and my dad swears that if you put baby powder on a cat's back end it masks their "cat smells" to other felines and helps minimize aggression. I have not tried this personally, but it might be worth a shot if you are looking to speed up the integration.

It took well over a month for one of my 3 older cats to adjust to the new kitten and she still has occasional territorial disputes and get into each other's business. It really is normal although I agree not pleasant. My old girl started off hiding in the basement and not going near the new one, to sleeping on the couch together and playing.

I do want to suggest hanging in there for awhile longer. Bringing the cat back is going to stress her out (here she thought she was going to be with you and then she's back in a cage) and might further problems for any future adopters. If you do trade her in (I don't mean to sound rude but this is an animal. A living breathing blood mammal shouldn't be thought of as something to trade) you very well might experience these same things with the new one. What then? Keep trading?

Make sure your new one has access to the bathroom box at all times. Bring your first cat around the new kitties' litter box and vice versa so they can smell each other without having another cat's face right there to intimidate or threaten them. This just gives them the option to smell if they want to. :-) Let your first cat do what she wants. She feels like an intruder is in her home and she might want to distance herself. In due time they will adjust (mostly because they have to. When they figure out that the other cat isn't going any where they do much better ;-) ) and start coming closer and closer on their own terms. Make sure to love them up equally so nobody feels better than the other or left out.

Your terms (on your lap) should be reflected when you hold the new one. What is expected of the cat? No claw, no bite? If either of these are displayed make sure she knows it isn't acceptable. (squirter bottle of water is a cheap/quick/effective way) You are not a cat so she has to treat you differently. Just let her know you aren't mad at her. You want her to be there no matter what the other cat says.

I've had alot of trouble with the dog we adopted (I'm a bit of a cat person if you can't tell) and as much as I've thought about dumping that problem on someone else I can't. Part of the "adoption" process is accepting you now have an animal you have to take care of no matter what. At one time there were several reasons why we chose this particular dog and all it takes is for me to remember those reasons again to put myself back in check. It's not the dog's fault. :-)

I really hope the situation improves for you. Trading in the cat isn't the worst thing you could do but I recommend exhausting all options on your part that way you can say you tried %100 and it didn't work out. After that, you will be able to take your newfound knowledge of cats and be able to find a different one (if you want ;-) ) that might mesh better instead of having everybody unhappy.

I'm glad to see you are reaching out and very concerned for the well being of both of the cats. That's an amazing thing and I wish you the best of luck. Sorry about the novel.

LEC

Answer 8

Haven't looked at all the other answers but I'm sure you have more than enough advice. Just wanted to let you know I did exactly the same thing. Our first cat arrived on our doorstep in June this year. We had no intentions of keeping him but he happens to have a gorgeous personality. A few weeks later we decided to get another one to keep him company. We got one about the same age from a girl I work with. Unfortunately, because we loved the 1st one so much we expected too much from the 2nd one. He was shy and very unfriendly and just irritated me! 3 months down the line and I couldn't imagine life without him. He is different from the 1st guy but I love him just as much. Last week we adopted 2 more kittens (long story). It's hard work as they are only 8/9 weeks old and we have had to be patient with introducing them to the two 'big boys' but it is paying off and I am looking forward to seeing their individual personalities unfold!

Answer 9

there is a ther a mone I know I spelled that wrong but it will help it u get it and plug into u out let it will make the cats more relaxed it
is called feli way I believe . Also it does take more that one week. My cats took 2-3 weeks to start being tolerable of each other and it was hard. But once they did it was fine. Some cats just tolerate each other, others will become buddys.
Good luck
I provided the link for feliway

Answer 10

No, you should not bring it back. It is a lack of training on your part - not the cats fault.
Here's a trick you can try. You say you keep them separated at times while you are not home. Keep doing this, but try switching the 2 cats occasionally. Part of getting used to each other is the scents of the cats and cats are normally territorial, but doing this should get them accustomed to each others smell.