I was speaking with a friend of mine about the upcoming christmas holiday. She has five adult children but one that is 14. Three of her children have kids of their own.
My friend was telling me how she is trying to save money and I suggested just giving a gift to her youngest daughter this year and then if she could afford to send a gift basket to her children's families. She then told me that she couldn't because she already received their wish lists and had to get them what they wanted. She was clearly perturbed about that.
My question is, who is in the wrong, if anyone?
Are the grandchildren in the wrong for openly demanding and expecting to get what they want for christmas?
Or are their parents, her children, in the wrong for condoning this?
Or is it perfectly okay since it is family?
What should I advise my friend to do? Get them what they want? Or do a family gift? Or not give them anything?
2007-11-18 16:21:37 · 9 answers · asked by belizeable 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Her 14 year old isn't expecting anything for christmas. But I fear that the influence of her siblings and nieces and nephews might change her ways.
2007-11-18 17:22:45 · update #1
her children somehow lost the meaning of what christmas is about, and in turn are teaching their children the same bad values. I say that yout friend shoud just get a family gift for each family. example: ( make a movie night basket. get a good family movie, put some popcorn, and mabey a special popcorn bowl. Or a family board game, with some chips and soda. this way Shes teaching them a lesson about just being with family and having fun. Without having to overindulge. Without actually saying it. As for the 14 year old, she should just get regular presants. after all shes still a kid, Im sure her older siblings still got gifts on christmas morning at that age.
2007-11-18 16:33:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She does not have to buy anyone anything if she does not want. I would tell them that Christmas has gotten way out of hand and it is going to be slimmed down. It is ridiculous to spend money that you don't have or don't want to spend. They could all use a lesson on family and Christmas. My children expect and gift from no one and are gracious when they get one. That is how they should be taught to be. Tell your friend to stop this madness now and she will enjoy the holidays much more.
2007-11-19 00:29:10 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your friend needs to tell her children that she simply can't afford to buy everyone a gift this year, and will instead be focusing only on the children under 18 - period. Her youngest daughter should get a gift, but so should her grandchildren - spoiling grandchildren is her duty - especially if it's with an obnoxiously loud toy!! (wink).
2007-11-19 00:38:24 · answer #3 · answered by Flusterated 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that she give everyone a small affordable gift, rather than buy gifts off their wish list. They are all aware how large their family has become, and they should be considerate to their Grandmother/Mother and realize that she is not made of money. A small gift to let them know that they were thought of is what gift giving is all about! Merry X-mas
2007-11-19 00:33:45 · answer #4 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor Grannie! How can her children do this to her. Advised your friend to buy whatever gifts she wants to buy for them and inorder to avoid any hard feelings, considering they have sent their wish list, advise her to buy family gifts and probably only tell her to buy something on the 14 year olds wish list, since she is the youngest.
Tsk tsk tsk, yes the parents are so in the wrong for condoning this: very annoying.
2007-11-19 00:57:44 · answer #5 · answered by Hooch 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the grandchildren were wrong unless they actually specifically said, "Buy me all this." Most people make wish lists of things they want to use as general guidelines so the people buying gifts actually know what they want and don't buy something they really hate to prevent disappointment and hurt feelings.
2007-11-19 17:53:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So far, no one is in the wrong, unless the parents demand that she get them that or the children complain about not getting that. The children need to learn that they can't get what they always want, but still should get something. I suggest a family gift.
2007-11-19 00:31:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
This could have been tradition for years before. I know it was at my Nans. Tell her to talk to them about and they should be understanding. I know my whole family was when my Nan said she could only afford to get the great grandchildren. If the kids do not understand then that is rudeness and they deserve a lump of coal.
2007-11-19 00:28:28 · answer #8 · answered by colebomb23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The parents are wrong. They obviously allow and encourage their kids to make demand lists, turning them into spoiled, greedy brats. If my son ever made a "wish list" for his grandmother without her specifically asking for one, I'd tell him he wasn't allowed to accept a gift from her that year.
2007-11-19 00:28:47 · answer #9 · answered by SoBox 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋