Child watching dirty videos?

Question

I would like to know the publics perspective in this type of situation. A 9 yr old boy was using his mother computer while she was away at work ( He is allowed to use the computer to play video games/ watch child movies etc. He was with grandparents). When she got home she checked the history and seen that her child was viewing youtube,com and searched “ Boys have sex with girls” “Girls Boobies” “Sex”. How do you think the parent should handle this situation? Be honest, if it was your child what would you do. What is the most appropriate way to handle it, should the child be confronted and punished, should the parents not mention it. Please give your thoughts.

Thanks!!!!

Answer 1

Those who made the rule that the child is allowed to watch videos and use the computer unsupervised are the ones who should be punished. That showed terrible judgment on their part. Someone should speak to the child, but not to punish him. He's only 9, and was probably just curious. The adults need to do their job and supervise him better, and talk to him about why those videos are inappropriate.

Answer 2

I would take the child and sit him down. Then I'd tell him that the use of the computer is a privilege and not a right, and if I catch him on age inappropriate sites then he's banned off the computer.
Also I'd see if the parent/s would be willing to put a screening program on his user. Something like net-nanny. Also install a key logger, so I'd know what else he might have uncovered.
I would also make sure that the computer screen was always visible to an adult, ie where the adults are, that is it wasn't in a bedroom or something. Also no using the computer when there isn't an adult around. Also limit the amount of time that he can use the computer.
Then its time for a serious sit down talk about the birds and bees, including that fact that some of the stuff available on the Net is NOT normal or acceptable in real life.

Answer 3

First since it's youtube, the boy probably didn't see much. There is no porn on the site. It isn't allowed.

However he could've just as well typed in those search words into Google and found millions of the stuff he was looking for. Which isn't totally horrible, he's just a curious child. But still a child who doesn't need to see what he could've wound finding.

If it were my child, I definitely would not punish him. I woul;d bring it up with the grandparents that they need to check on him when he's on the computer every now and then. BUT, I was a curious child myself once and when I looked up stuff like that and my parents walked into the room I'd quickly close out. So the grandparents can't totally be held responsible either if they didn't catch it.

I'd talk to the kid about it. Bring it up that you got on the computer and saw what was searched. This will scare him and he'll think twice about typing those in next time. Tell him that it's natural for him to want to know about these things but it isn't right to look them up. Ask him if he has a any questions. He probably wont say if he does. I never did.

Get one of those parental blockers for the computer. The ones that block certain websites. I'd block youtube...although they can't post porn there are innapropriate things on there.

That's what I'd do. Is it the right way? It is for me. Is it for you? I'm not sure. Maybe you're one of those people who thinks you should spank the kid for growing up. If you do then do it your way. My way isn't for every family. When my kids get older I want to give them a book about sex, explaining std's and safe sex and everything. Many parents object to this. However it's something I wish my parents had of done, instead of to ignore it all together or punish me.

Answer 4

I believe kids are curious, so they are going to look at things if they are available... no matter the age (I remember finding my friend's dad's playboy and looking at the pictures in awe.. - it was just curiousity)... BUT, that said, i think if I had a kid looking at more graphic things like the actual act of sex and such, I would definitely discuss it with them. How are they going to learn what is right and what is wrong? It's a good chance to talk about morality involving relationships and such.. at least to introduce the concept. i would approach it in a way that acknowledges the fact that they are curious, which is natural. I would then bring up the issue of what is appropriate behaviour and what isn't. I would explain that the act of sex is initmate and there should be love involved, and that when people are in these videos, there usually isn't love involved and it's not right. I would also say that these videos aren't normally what real relationship are like (because there isn't love involved). Because he's only 9, you can't go into great detail but I would say that this is a warning and that if he goes to watch these things again, you will revoke his internet privilages. Later, when he's older I would discuss why it's wrong (exploitation of women and those issues, as well as re-stating that these videos aren't real - lack of love and stuff). I would give him one more chance to not do this again. As i said, if he does it again, he's broken your trust (and this is a very important thing) so internet privilages are revoked. If he sneaks on again.. I would find more and more severe punishments.

cheers

Answer 5

Totally normal. If it was youtube I wouldn't say anything at all. If it was an adult site I would first say something and if that didn't work I would password the computer and put some kind of cyber nanny in place. I talked to my son about sex at 9 so it's not a huge mystery to him. He's 13 and he watches youtube but I've never found him watching anything sexual. If you haven't talked to him about sex, it's time to. Kids are going to develop and be curious. It's best to just guide them in the right direction without being totally humiliating. If you can handle the situation gently he will feel comfortable to talk to you about anything. My son talks to me about everything, he knows I'll be honest and straightforward. Good luck :)

Answer 6

Parents should confront the child immediately and tell him upfront that it's unhealthy for his age to be viewing stuff for adults. It's futile to keep silent. But no punishment because the parents are educating the child. However, this is only a remedy for misconduct, the battle should have started long before. Computers have also built-in parental control features.

Answer 7

I'd tell your "friend" that it's time for a talk about the birds and the bees. She also needs to clue in on how to use parental controls and block any sites that aren't kid-friendly. Another suggestion - set up a user account on the computer for the child and adjust all the settings accordingly. Change your password so he doesn't have access to your user account and it's adult-oriented settings.
P.S. - this can be done under the guise of "now that you're getting older we're going to do this......" that way he isn't being 'punished' per-se, but he'll know you know somehow. Sometimes that's worse than a punishment for the kids - trying to figure out how all of us adults "know" what the kids are doing. Don't give up your "source" (i.e. browser history) - that will only make him sneaky and he'll learn how to hide it.

Answer 8

Well he's advanced for his age I'll say that! My son is the same age and doesn't know about YouTube anyway. He looks at sites like Lego.com! An Internet filter seems the obvious next step here and a little chat with the young man. Yes - it should be mentioned and spoken about. He needs to explain his actions and realise that as his age poking around the internet for that kind of content is inappropriate. Restrict his internet access, try to supervise him and use a filter - there are many free ones available.

Answer 9

He should be talked to about this. My teenager was doing this and he was told that it was unacceptable and he was to stop. He did not know that we could check and see where he was. It is normal for them to be curious but this should not be ignored. It is time to educate him on the subject. He needs to be given correct information in a way that he will understand it. He also needs to be told that he can come to his parents with any questions that he has in the future.

Answer 10

I went thru this with my son.. we talked about how its perfectly normal to be curious but pc porn is not allowed nor is it a source of acurate information etc. He was then grounded from the pc for a while.