Christmas gift giving rule causing family crisis!!!?

Question

Okay I'll make this as short and descriptive as I can....I am part of a family of 4 siblings. We decided only to buy xmas gifts for the niece and nephews this year, not the siblings and their significant others. The 3 sisters have one child each. Brother has none. Brother thinks it's only fair that he and his fiancee should be the ones who receive the gift since they do not have children. I say he's just being greedy. Brother is raising hell over this and says I am being cheap......opinions please?

Answer 1

Your brother is an @$$.


And ashilys suggestion IS hilarious. I love it. Get him a little toddler toy that cost about $3.

Answer 2

OK - this is difficult - only because it could cause issues..... Best to avoid them altogether. Put each person's name on a piece of paper and let everyone draw a gift.....

This way a family a five gets five gifts to give and a family of two gets two gifts to give.....

We've done this in our family but grandparents still always want to get every grandchild a present. So - let the family rules stand, but those who want to get extra is welcome to do so......

So - in this instance - a limit might be best.... Say - $5.00 per child and $10.00 per adult which historical gifts being preferred. For example - someone writing down grandma's recipes or copying all the aunts and uncles pictures into an album, etc....

No matter what - the rules need to be drawn. Gift giving is about the giver - the the accepter. No gift should ever be compared and no gift should be ignored...

Answer 3

Christmas is not about presents. Your brother needs to get a life. Christmas is for children and it should be the children who receive gifts. What kind of gift could make your brother think it is worth fighting over. Please give me a break. Tell brother to knock off the crap. Hope you have a Merry Little Christmas. Blue (the cat ) says why do humans forget the little things. Like the real reason for Christmas, getting with our beloved families and rejoicing? Hope the good Lord is not watching your brother right now.

Answer 4

It sounds like you all agreed to give gifts only to the children in the family. He may be acting like a child but unless he's under 18 then he doesn't qualify for a gift. Now it would be a different thing if you all had agreed to get one gift per family and *then* choose to give that gift to the child in the family. But you didn't.

Suggest that he needs to grow up. Or you all can make fun of him and make a big presentation of gifts for the kids and give him his at that time making it clear that he's been acting like a big baby.

Answer 5

Wow...that sucks to face as a family.

In dh's family we do a name draw for everyone, from the newest baby to the oldest granny. Everyone deserves to feel valued on the holidays, but of course, he's the oldest of eight, and the oldest four have five to eight children each (the youngest four don't have children yet). there is no way we could even do presents for each of our beloved nephews and nieces.

In my family, we do family gifts for everyone. So instead of individual presents, each family gets one present from the others (I have two brothers and a sister, four as well) For example last year my single brother got a gift basket with a bottle of liquor, nice drinking glasses, etc. My brother and his wife, who was pregnant, got a basket with kitchen equipment, some snack foods. My sister and her hubby got a movie basket, with a movie, popcorn, chocolate and sodas. It was inexpensive but fun because we could find stuff that was in line with their needs and reflected them. I only remember one thing we got, a cute cookie jar. But I do remember how fun it was to open the presents and now how much my siblings thought of me to pick this cool thing out. All the presents were inexpensive, but thoughtful.

If cost is too much, then maybe there's too much 'Keeping up with the Joneses', and there should be a price limit on the gifts so everyone gets something special. It does kind of suck to be expected to buy three things and know you won't get anything by virtue of waiting to have children.

As siblings, you could do a dirty santa or something, so that each of you just brings one gift and you do something fun to get the gifts. You could agree that you make stuff for each other. Or just try to problem sovle. It sounds like your brother didn't have much of a say in this, "We decided" was who exactly?

Answer 6

Heck yes I would eat them, My mom and dad were down in Arkansas, for the winter and for a Christmas present they sent up a 10 pound box of just what you're going to make, that was one of the best presents we ever received. It was made with love and that was better than something bought in a store, My brother and I were in my folks house up north while they were gone, we both gained about 20lbs, but it was a great gift.

Answer 7

Last year that is what we did,(Just bought for the kids) and it was still pretty expensive, But what we are doing this year is just buying each family one "family gift" nothing real expensive or anything just something from the heart that we know they will all enjoy..But to us , and even the kids, it's really just about getting together and enjoying being together. Everyone helps with the cooking and it's just a really fun family day...Hope you figure everything out and maybe present them with the idea of just buying a family gift (ex. home theatre system, t.v. a series of DVD's they all like, etc.) Hope you have a very merry Christmas! ~Jess

Answer 8

He is being a bit selfish which doesn't fit into the spirit of the season, does it? I would make a charity donation in his name> That way, you're still acknowledging them BUT someone more needy gets the gift! Brilliant!

I bought a "flock of chicks" on Heifer International for some family. It was $20 and a needy family will get the chicks which will in turn produce eggs for their family. (and help them to be self sufficient)

Answer 9

Keep it for the children. Remind your brother that Christmas is not about him getting presents, it's about you being together as a family.

Answer 10

Tell your brother that you understand his position, and that the gift-giving is NOT a requirement. If he doesn't feel like getting involved, then don't bother.
Stick to your guns on just getting presents for the babies and your collective parents. You might just get him a little token gift... socks or something.