My fiance and I are planning a wedding in May. At first his mom seemed great with it. His dad was always trying to talk him out of marrying me. Then tonight my fiance's mom was drinking alot and she told my mom how we shouldnt get married. I just feel so unsupportive and it really hurts because I love his family and I thought they loved us together. All of my family is more than supportive. what do we do?
2007-11-18 15:28:35 · 9 answers · asked by camdensmommy07 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You have not married yet, and there are problems with his family... they are controlling, disrespectful... I don't know what his attitude is about this situation, but you should be alert... he comes from an abusive family, I don't know if he's a mama's boy... but if he is, you got a huge problem. Are these the grandparents you want for your children ?. If I was you, I'd think twice about marrying this man: his family means trouble.
Good luck !
2007-11-18 16:01:00 · answer #1 · answered by Idon'tlivehere 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would reconsider marrying him. You will be marrying his family too. TRUST ME! It can be soooo stressful being married to someone who's family doesn't like you. First off, you could ask why they dont want you to get married, and if its something like "too young, not good enough" then its them and they will get over it. If its "she gossips, she has no ambition, or something they see as a truth" about you, then reconsider. You will never please them. Also, at this point, I'm sure you will marry, so just make the best of it, be nice, only you are in charge of yourself and cant control what other do and say. Try not to let their judgements get to you.
2007-11-18 15:37:10 · answer #2 · answered by enriquelomasa 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you love his family honey, but you seriously aren't marrying them, you are marrying your fiance. He's the one you will be waking up to every morning, not his drunken mother.
I would talk to your fiance hon, he is really the one who needs to be having a conversation with them regarding his future plans with you. He's the only one who can change their minds on how they view you. If anything, he needs their support, you already have a great family.
2007-11-18 15:43:48 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, I believe that I had family members and/or family members in-law who had bets going on how long DH and my marriage would last. I know they didn't actually put money down but I heard that the outside bet was about 5 years.
But I believed in DH and myself. I knew deep down that he was good for me. And I knew we had plans to take care of all the practical problems that life requires you to take care of. I also knew enough of the history of the family members involved to know that some of the talk was more about their lives and their fears than about us.
So 16 years later and still making things work with the same great man I've got to say just let it go. Make sure of your feelings and make sure you have plans to take care of the practicalities of life (rent, food, division of chores...). Keep communicating with your spouse. And then just enjoy the marriage. Nothing anyone says from the outside can change the relationship unless you let it.
2007-11-19 02:52:26 · answer #4 · answered by Critter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Justice of the peace, don't spend all that money on a wedding.
If you love each other, it is you and you only that will be spending the rest of your life with this man, but remember family gathering they may be a little stuffy. Does he understand why his mom and dad are against this? If he does have him explain it to you.
2007-11-18 15:38:46 · answer #5 · answered by flannelpajamas1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you love each other then don't worry about the in laws to be ..Once they see you are happy they will come around..You aren't marrying the whole family just their son
2007-11-18 15:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I'd postpone it a while.If the mother in law is a drunk and daddy in law doesnt like you, then they have problems (unless there is something wrong with you then the daddy in law is using good judgment but the mother in law is still a drunk).
Remember when you marry him the whole family comes as a package deal for life.
2007-11-18 15:33:09 · answer #7 · answered by Joe F 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
before you marry him make sure he will choose you over his mother. If he sticks up for her over you in arguments youre going to be miserable. So make sure HE is supportive of you and will protect you from any abuse they dish out. Otherwise youll have 50 years of misery coming.
2007-11-18 15:37:26 · answer #8 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
screw them. it's your future, your relationship.
2007-11-18 15:49:07 · answer #9 · answered by Jonesy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋