I didn't want a big wedding, now I'm stuck!?

Question

My fiance and I planned on a very, very simple Las Vegas wedding in March. It was just going to be the 2 of us.
We told a couple friends that we would be getting married, if they want to join us for some fun in Vegas, great. If they'd rather not spend the cash, that's fine too.
Now, it's out of hand. We have a list of folks who say they'd love an excuse to go to Vegas.
Does this mean, I'm stuck with a huge wedding /reception bill that we weren't planning on ?
What should I do at this point? I really feel bad about not having a huge reception, but that's not what we want.
We only want to get married, have a great time in Vegas, and come home.

Answer 1

ABSOLUTELY NOT! heres why: You said you planned for just the two of you, lovely sweet romantic. If you tell people in passing you're going to subway, and they want a sandwich... you're not expected to pay for it! So if you tell people in passing you're getting married... that doesnt automatically invite them. Now, if they wanna go... power to em... tell em which chapel you'll be at and what time and leave it at that!!

What i suggest though, is find a nice bar/club and let them know that you'll be arriving with a large party and are going to spend gobs of money (you dont really have to, they just like to hear it).. and have an inpromtu "gathering" where everyone holds their own.

Answer 2

Wow-sounds like a big problem! We married in Vegas, and had the opposite thing happen because we didn´t tell family until 3 months before, and friends a month before.

OK, it looks like you might be stuck, but here´s what we did-and we had 14 people in attendance.

We married at Little Chapel of the Flowers, in the Victorian Chapel-I think the limit is only 30 people, so pick this chapel so that only 30 people can view your wedding.

The day before the wedding, we bought a whole bunch of food, wine, and champaign and had a party in our room-this way, there was no need to serve alcohol at the reception because our guests drank the night before (at the reception place wine was $30 a bottle!). We married on a Friday, had pictures taken at the chapel and in front of the Bellagio fountain, and then everyone went to the Paris hotel buffet. It was $25 per person, plus an 18% tax and gratuity.

I hope this helps you out-people do look for excuses to go to Vegas, so limit the number of people you tell now.

Answer 3

Make it clear to the people that are inviting themselves that its their bill. Just explain that you really want this to be about "you two" and not to offend, but you simply wont be paying for those others to come. I would say something like: "its great that you want to come, but me and _____ wont be able to afford for anyone but ourselves. I'm sure you understand. You can come if you like but we dont want you to misunderstand that this is going to anything big. We just plan on...._____....______. "

If you dont want them to come, then say that's just going to be a few friends and a small weekend fling. You probably should consider having a reception after you come home for all those you know who will not be there. Plus its a great way to get presents, extra money, spend some time with friends/family, and plan a bash. Maybe it could be a housewarming party instead. That way you have freedom to serve whatever you like, it wont have to be fancy, and it wont have the stuffiness that goes along with a true reception.

BTW I think its great that you decided to go to Vegas. My wedding was too expensive, overrated, and not worth all that money. Have fun! Thats what it should be.

Answer 4

If they want an excuse to go then tell them to go. Do what you wanted to do for your wedding - and I'm guessing your honeymoon is then too - so after the ceremony, excuse yourselves for the evening, have a dinner with just the two of you, go back to your hotel, celebrate your wedding night - and meet up with your friends the following day or 2 days later. If you don't want a reception - don't have one! Enjoy your time with your new spouse, and set aside time to hang out with the people that have chosen to come along - but let them know what YOUR plans are - and where they can and can't fit in. You may want to keep your hotel info a secret for your wedding night so no one tries to be 'cute' and crashes your intimate party!

Answer 5

Having a big wedding reception is not worth the headache or the cost, trust me. Tell everyone straight up that you are not planning on paying for any kind of reception and you would like to keep the ceremony a small personal thing. If they are really your friends, they will understand.

Answer 6

No. Tell them they are on their own for food, lodging, transportation. Let them know that you are only wanting a small wedding. Maybe send a note to everyone saying ______and I are getting married in Vegas on March __ and if you would like to come make sure you make your reservations at your favorite hotel, and your other travel plans. We are paying for the wedding. No reception is planned.

Answer 7

If they're looking for an "excuse" to go to Vegas and have not been formally invited to any kind of wedding or reception they most likely won't be expecting you to foot the bill. Be clear about what your plans are when you get there...."We will be having a wedding ceremony that you are welcome to attend and we will be beginning our Honeymoon immediately following the Ceremony". That shouldn't leave any room for doubt about your plans.

Answer 8

It's your wedding, stop being so co-dependent that you can not tell people "thank you for wanting to come, but we are going to just have a wedding with the two of us, we can all go out when we get back from Las Vegas" it seems easy, it is easy, just do it.

Answer 9

do what you were always planning on doing. The next time you talk to them about it make it clear that your going to vegas to keep the cost low and that while you will love for them to be there you cant afford to put them up for feed 'em.

Your honesty will be appreciated early on and will make life easier for everyone. If you didnt say you were throwing a reception I dont think anyone expects you to. From what you have said but, I'd be sure to let them know just incase.



CONGRATS!

Answer 10

Well, aren't you silly. You wanted a small, simple wedding and then you go and tell everyone who would be interested in going? If you want to keep things simple, you don't inform the universe as to your intentions. You're pretty much stuck, you might as well get a chapel big enough for them to attend.

And may I make a hypothesis. Deep down, I think you wanted something a LOT bigger and this is your conniving way of getting it, while keeping you innocent in your spouse's eyes. Can't be your fault, you only told everyone. I wonder if you manipulate and pull strings in other endeavors as well.