My ex and I have a new baby boy. I'm 34, pretty independent and I can take care of the baby. The dad works with his family. they have a restaurant and he's there 24/7. So he doesn't have a lot of free time to see me or the baby. Anyway, he won't live with me b/c of my cats (he doesn;t help pay for anything nor has he offered to pay) so I feel he has no say. Anyway, I'm just debating if I should file for cs or give him an ultimatum. pay me under the table and no obligations to see the baby (he isn't that stand-up a guy) we broke up when I was 6 1/2 mos preggo and he never called to check on me, no emotional support whatsoever. Or should I haul his *** to court. The only thing is that I don't want him to have any rights, say if I wanted to leave the state eventually. Any advice? Should I just wait a little while to see how things pan out. The baby is 5 weeks and I need to recover from the c-section completely befoe making decisions.
2007-11-18 14:59:54 · 10 answers · asked by pussnboots333 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Get a child support order in place. You never know what the future will hold. Expenses will always be there and child support will give your child more opportunities than without it. Like he may want music or sports lessons. The child support would allow for some extras.
He is the dad, even if he chooses not to be a part of his child's life, he has a responsibility.
2007-11-18 15:10:14 · answer #1 · answered by Ms. Gump 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has not been there since you were six months pregnant, he needs to be paying some kind of support, whether court ordered, or as you said, under the table. If it is court order, you are free to move anywhere you wish as long as you let Domestic Relations know where you are. If you choose to stay, be prepared, he might wise up, he might want to see the baby, if he were a real man, he'd have been there for you the whole time. If you choose under the table, that's just your way of saying, pay me anytime! Go court ordered. Single parents need more support these days than they used to, I know, I'm a single mother myself!
2007-11-18 23:17:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him to court...just to be on the safe side. He doesn' tsound like he would be willing to pay under the table so this way you would have a set amount coming in..He helped make the baby and he can help pay to raise the baby ...Simple as that
2007-11-18 23:17:36 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to talk to him first. Think about what you want, and go to him with that. He may surprise you and be willing to do what he needs to do if your requests are reasonable. I'd save court as a final option. Just keep in mind that when the courts get involved, he'll probably start making demands back, and you'll be just as bound to whatever the court decides as he is.
2007-11-18 23:05:33 · answer #4 · answered by pompeiifyr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go file for child support when you are up to it... or at least file for AFDC while you are recovering.
The kid will need day-care in order for you to go back to work.
Chances are, that he will not be interested in having any visitation/custody rights if he hasn't shown any interest already. It sounds like he doesn't have enough time to play custody games with you.
2007-11-18 23:16:48 · answer #5 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
file for support. Your local health department or family independance agency can point you in the right direction. file for support. He really has no emotional attachment, so be sure to mention this to the workers or to the courts, whoever you deal with.
2007-11-18 23:58:37 · answer #6 · answered by Heather R♥se 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his DNA matches that baby....HE has rights...and maybe you need to stop being selfish and think about what your child will want when he gets older. Do your child justice and be fair...a father should be in their life and he should also pay to help raise the child.
See..five weeks old..your so hormonal your not even thinking clearly...
2007-11-18 23:06:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He layed down with you to make the baby, he should help raise the baby, and I think personally what about college, etc. Yes, haul his butt to court.
2007-11-18 23:20:30 · answer #8 · answered by flannelpajamas1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't ask for money from my ex for support. He doesn't make as much money as I do and I want our daughter to feel comfortable and proud of her father when she sees him. I don't know why it comes to money all of the time....if you need it get some....if you don't then why mess with that. Really, when you live your life with love and forgiveness you feel better.
2007-11-18 23:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by Ali C 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
wow... either way you need to get money from him.... it's the only way to teach him a lesson... aaannnnnddddd it's considered a law to pay child support.
2007-11-18 23:03:41 · answer #10 · answered by Pastel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋