There has been a history of sexual abuse in my family Me, my older sister, my mother, my half sister, my aunt and my cousin where all sexually abused as children me and my older sister where sexually abused by my stepfather......my real father also went to prison when I was a month old for raping my halfsister....I love my husband so much and I know he isn't a pedophile but I find myself watching him very closely with our 4 week old daughter when he bathes her and I see him touching her I get so uncomfortable.....I know he would never hurt our little girl but I just can't shake this akward uncomfortable feeling at watching him touch her....should I get some counseling or something....
2007-11-18 14:47:07 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is my first child I love her so much
2007-11-18 14:47:56 · update #1
I'm not going to say that it's a bad thing to watch out even if you trust your husband. You know from your history that sometimes even those you should be able to trust can do unspeakable things. Part of the touching/sex talks I had and that I have passed on to my kids is that even if it's an uncle, or a friend or daddy or me doing something inappropriate then they need to tell. So watching everyone is now kind of natural.
But if you're feeling like this means you can't let your husband bathe or change his daughter when he's never shown any sign of abuse then some counseling may be in order. You need to be able to put that fear into perspective and maybe deal with any lingering issues from your own abuse so that you can let your husband carry some of those joys/responsibilities of parenting more fully.
2007-11-18 15:27:33 · answer #1 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is bathed by my hus all the time and I don't get nervous. I'm not trying to be mean, but you need to get help for this before you pass your fears on to your child and mess up her sex life, which is an important part of being a woman. I know this will be hard for you, but as much as you love your daughter, I know you can do it.
Good luck and best wishes.
2007-11-18 15:09:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. You know your husband. Just have faith in him. Forget what has happened to you, and just focus on the moment. Your husband is a normal guy, and is only washing your daughter so she is clean! If you really start getting uncomfortable, you should wash her. But have faith in your husband. That's a big part of marriage!
2007-11-18 15:31:02 · answer #3 · answered by SoundofSettling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's good that you've acknowledged that you feel this way. It's also good that you trust your husband. Trust is key, but it still doesn't take away your past. I would definitely talk to a phsycologist about this. You will feel so much better. Plus, it will help ease problems in the future. Talk to your husband as well. Tell him you love him, and if you seem squeamish, make sure you tell him it's not that you don't trust him, but what has happened in your past. He loves you, and will understand. Talk to him though. It will help you lots. It may be hard at first, but you will feel much better about it. Good luck! :-)
2007-11-18 14:55:35 · answer #4 · answered by sunshiney 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
that's common to be annoying and scared while having this completed for the 1st time, yet enable your mom know the way you're feeling desirable now and which you're able to opt for to talk to the dr in plainclothing first in the previous any form of examination is carried out. additionally, enable the dr know how this makes you experience. a stunning dr will attempt to help you loosen up and could clarify each and every thing as they do it. while it is composed of the examination section (while waiting of direction) they're going to insert a particular form of device referred to as a speculum which looks like the invoice of a duck that gets inserted in on your vagina. in addition they're going to placed a delicate via so that they might see what's occurring and examine to be certain if there is an infection or something else occurring. in addition they're going to examine the size and shape of your organs to make valuable there's no abnormalities from that factor as properly as make valuable there at the instant are not any hundreds there. in the event that they do a pap smear (the screening attempt to make valuable the female would not have cervical maximum cancers) the dr will take a particular brush to get fairly some the cells out of your cervix. They then take those cells to placed on a slide that then gets sent to a lab for diagnosis. the outcomes come back in approximately 2 weeks. in case you spot some recognizing after this attempt that's primary for a pair of days by using inflammation being brought about by ability of the comb. If something hurts you could ask the dr to provide up. If it hurts that's the two by using fact of right here: a million. Being annoying (comprehensible while being annoying yet attempt to loosen up) 2. Dr being too tough (you could ask them to provide up) 3. something incorrect including an infection (infections including with the cervix might reason soreness) yet please enable your mom know how this makes you experience. additionally, in case you have added questions for me please be at liberty to e mail or IM me promptly off the board.
2016-09-29 12:04:51 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you were abused this is a tender topic for you and yes, you feel very uneasy, naturally so.
I wonder why your husband is bathing the baby? man, My husband NEVER bathed my babies, didn't even think about it, till they were a bit older.
But then, my daughter's husband put the little girl right in the shower with him! * weird*...
I would tenderly and carefully explain to hubby that because you were abused as a child, you get nervous when he bathes her not because he would do anything, but just because it brings back horrible memories.
he may take it personally and get hurt or offended, but if he's a gentle understanding man, he'd not get offended by your fears.
Even though, he needs to know your fears, just be sweet about bringing it up and tell him that you know inside he could never do that to his little girl..
PS( I will pray for you)
2007-11-18 15:01:15 · answer #6 · answered by tuna 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First, nobody in their right mind would savage an infant.
You can either continue to supervise him bathing the kid, or have a little talk with your husband and ask him to let you do the bathing... just to humor you. He should understand this if he knows about your history.
Teach your daughter how to hit all her own nooks and crannies as she gets older.
2007-11-18 14:57:03 · answer #7 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I understand why you would be uncomfortable. You need to keep reminding yourself that she isn't you and both of you will keep her safe. It's hard to forget, I know. It stays with you but dont let your issues become their issues
2007-11-18 14:56:25 · answer #8 · answered by natasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mother should only bathe their daughters.
2014-11-12 06:28:23 · answer #9 · answered by harry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bathe her yourself or just watch until you no longer feel uncomfortable.
2007-11-18 15:42:22 · answer #10 · answered by Joe F 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋