We're trying to keep the size of our wedding party down and unfortunately my fiance's brother might be the one that gets left out. Well, is it okay to do that? Is it okay to give him another role such as have him do a reading?
2007-11-18 13:48:00 · 11 answers · asked by Rob A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I agree family should be involved as much as possible. I'm not sure the reasoning for wanting to keep your wedding party small, but if you are worried that the sides will be uneven don't. The bridesmaids no longer need to have the same number as groomsmen. The other thing you can do is if you are having a small wedding party you can have other men be ushers. They can wear a tux or nice suit and assist in seating guests. They can participate in the procession during the seating of the families if their are special aunts or godmother being seated in addition to the mothers.
I would definitley suggest having him be an usher or groomsmen!
Good luck!
2007-11-18 13:59:10 · answer #1 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the only people required to be in a wedding party are the bride and groom. You don't say how many people are in your wedding party - but leaving out the bride's brother doesn't sound like a very good idea. He's an important part of the family, providing they have a good relationship. If you are not wanting to have a lot of people standing up for you during the ceremony, why don't you have him dress as the ushers but escort his mother down the aisle? When walking back up after the ceremony, he can just fall in with everyone else. Keep in mind, a brother is a brother for life - friends drift apart. You don't want to start a marriage off by causing a rift from the get-go by excluding a sibling.
2007-11-18 16:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by Fluff S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Required? No. But keep in mind he is probably expecting to be asked. When you decide not to he may or may not understand so you are potentally going to cause a strain on the relationship for a very long time (not to mention cause waves with other family members now). That should be considered when you pick your friend Mike instead of you future brother in law. Neither is necessarily a "wrong" choice but each comes with their own set of consequences.
Offering to let him do a reading might help mend the fences. On the other hand doing a reading is kind of the "we didn't have anywhere else to stick you so...here" job and pretty much everybody knows it.
What about Master of Ceremonies. let him do the announcements at the reception, direct guests to the site, sit at the head table with the rest, wear the "groomsmen" tux. The only key difference is that he would not be actually standing at the alter.
2007-11-18 13:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how close your fiance is to her brother. If she's really close to him and it would mean alot to have him in the wedding, then I would honor her and him by having him be a groomsman. If she doesn't care either way, then I would ask him to do something in the ceremony. Also, I would ask him to be an usher so he still gets to do the tux and be a part of the "wedding party" but just not as a groomsman.
2007-11-18 14:04:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look at this way, your BIL will always be your family, but you might not be talking to your friends 10 years later. My husband doesn't talk to some of his friends that were in the wedding, they just grew apart. However, he and my brother do alot together. I will say that my brothers weren't in our wedding, they're 4 and 5 years younger than me and we didn't really get along when I married. They did carry the gifts down the aisle (Catholic wedding). Make sure he has some public role in your wedding.
2007-11-18 14:00:01 · answer #5 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't think you'll have room for your fiance's brother to be part of the groomsman, you could make him an usher at your wedding.
2007-11-18 14:19:01 · answer #6 · answered by muzacmaster44 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Personally, I would never give a sibling of the bride or groom the boot. It's something that won't be forgotten by the families. I would cut down another way.
2007-11-18 13:53:02 · answer #7 · answered by Beckers 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Shoot, yeah. A reading is much more prestigious than the valet role most groomsmen play.
I'm so glad I'm not marrying you! In 20 years we won't even remember the frat boys who wore penguin suits for you, but my brother will still be my next-of-kin.
2007-11-18 13:58:20 · answer #8 · answered by noname 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
you could not replace the two certainly one of them. yet what you at the instant are not extremely thinking approximately yet is - once you marry your boyfriend, you get the entire relatives. all of them. All of their problems. Do you extremely desire to spend your married life stressing over the stupidity and short-sightedness of your m-i-l and b-i-l? are you able to stay with your husband ignoring a concern it extremely is killing his brother and making you loopy? IT would not get greater useful FROM here. in case you could not cope with the placement now, you easily is merely not waiting to deal with it 3 years or 5 years or 10 years from now. And after your b-i-l dies of huge coronary heart attack, stroke, diabetes, or in spite of, are you getting into charge your m-i-l for not being a greater useful mom and a greater robust individual? you're ideal to declare you like scientific care quickly. What you like is marriage counseling with your boyfriend and guy or woman counseling for you. Get a independent third social gathering that may be useful you artwork out why this occasion is horrifying you lots, and have that third social gathering help your bf confirm why he's keen to miss approximately it. and then this independent therapist can enable you to and your boyfriend come to a decision how the two certainly one of you, as a married couple, will cope with this subject....or if there isn't any thank you to reconcile your concern with your bf's loss of action. I additionally desire to believe what numerous individuals have stated. What are you doing residing with your boyfriend's relatives? Have the two certainly one of you purely these days moved decrease back to his domicile city and are shifting out quickly? Please do not say you're merely young little ones yourselves and are going to get married and stay with them on an analogous time as you end college. the entire element of being married is to be adults and to be autonomous of parents. If the two certainly one of you could not locate the money for to help yourselves on your own, you at the instant are not waiting to get married in any respect. that is already needless to say obtrusive which you will not proceed to stay along with his relatives. yet do come across a marriage counselor or therapist that may be useful you and your boyfriend confirm no depend if the two certainly one of you're actual waiting to handle his relatives's problems on an person, married-couple point.
2016-10-01 03:15:03 · answer #9 · answered by hickerson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think it is OK. He is going to be family and that really sends a poor message to start out with. I consider family as must haves.
2007-11-18 23:01:17 · answer #10 · answered by JM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋