My mother passed away this june and I need to know how I can stop being so down about it I miss her so much?

Answer 1

Extending my sympathy to you for your loss. It is just fine to hurt and miss her. It will not transform overnight and five months is a short time. However, soon your mother will occupy a special place in your heart and you will be able to smile and get on with your life. You will even have fun. It is true that you will always miss her but it will not hurt the way you are hurting now.

Reach out to others, go out even if you do not feel like it. Your mother would want you to. One of the best ways to heal is to help others who need assistance with something. It can be anything like a community organization, a child on your block, an on-line community like this one or just a random act of kindness to a friend.

Many hugs to you and also wishing you many more smiles. Your mom was a fortunate woman to have someone who is here still caring about her.

Answer 2

Antoinette, there is no easy way to get through the loss. I am 47 years old and my mom died in 1987, exactly 20 years ago. It feels as if it were yesterday. We had a wonderful relationship and I loved her very much and still do. At first, I was very angry & upset because she was taken away from me when I needed her the most but as time went on I understood. For some people, they go to their gravesite and place flowers, etc. For me, it is still too painful to go to her grave, so I think of happy thoughts and I talk to her in my spirit. I find myself doing things that she used to do. I sing songs that she used to sing. As I get older people that knew my mom would compliment me by saying that I look just like her or sing just like her and that would really make me feel good inside. Occasionally, I look at some pictures of her and I cry because I miss her so much, but then I smile and think about the fact that she is in a better place now.

Antoinette, you have to go on with your life and just keep mom in your heart and never stop loving her, although she is not here on earth with you. Continue to pray and ask God for guidance and to help you heal from the pain and loss. Out of all the advice I received from others, I had to find my own way of coping with her being gone. There's no love like a mother's love!

I hope and pray this helps you in some small way. Take care!

Answer 3

My heart goes out to you. I know just how you're feeling. Nine years ago, I lost my younger sister to cancer, eight and a half years ago, my grandma, eight years ago my older sister, four years ago my son took his own life, a month before his father died, and this year I also lost my Mother. All I can say to you is it gets "easier" as time goes along. I occasionally still have my "teary" moments, but I can think of them and am grateful for the pleasure they brought into my life, and feel that I'm a better person for their being a part of it. And isn't that what everyone hopes for? To be able to feel they enriched someone's life while they were here-that they made a difference? Over time I realized that most of my tears are for me-selfishly-because of what is no longer in "my" life.. Be strong, grieve, cry, laugh, and eventually it gets easier. It's all about time.

Answer 4

Antoinette, I got tears in my eyes instantly when I read your question. My mother died 3-1/2 years ago, and I still miss her terribly. Everyone grieves in his or her own way, and there is no right or wrong to it. But it helped me not to struggle against the grief, just to accept and understand that it was normal to feel this way -- it was part of honoring my mother. I did pray a lot, and asked God to be with me in my sorrow. I didn't ask Him to take it away or change it, because there isn't a way to do that after such a major loss.

This holiday season will be very poignant for you since it is the first one after losing your dear mother. Maybe you can cook something she liked, or wear a piece of her jewelry, to keep her especially close to you at Thanksgiving and Christmas or whatever holiday you are observing.

It also helped me to go to a bereavement group. I went to one that met once a week for six weeks, and it helped a lot. There were only 6 people in the group, and 3 of us had lost our mothers. I found that it was very useful to be able to express my own feelings, but also to listen to others and try to give comfort to them, too. You might think about that. You can check with your local hospital or hospice agency to see if there is a group like that in your area.

The pain will lessen, but you will always miss your mother -- it's just part of who you are now.

God bless you and keep you, dear.

Answer 5

I can only tell you what I believe.

I believe that when we pass over, we stay near our loved ones. I bet you anything that your mother is there with you right now. You may not be able to see her, but sometimes you may be able to feel her presence.

I also believe that we are not our body. When we die we leave our body but, we, the essence of who we really are, moves on to a better place.

That is why your mother could be with you right now. Open yourself up the possibility, and the probability that she is there with you and if you do, you may start to feel her presence.

You will get many saying this is a lot of garbage, but you know what, if the thought that this is possible, will give you much comfort and will help you with your pain.

Answer 6

My mom, passed away about 19 years ago, and I don't think I have stop getting over her, but in time you will. I know the feeling, I miss mines too.

Answer 7

It hard to lose any one let alone your own mother.
In my case it was my grandma who was more like a mother than my own mom.
I wrote her a note about everything that I didn't get to say to her and put it with my favorite photo of her and I and it helped.
Give it time though, in time the pain will lessen and you will be able to think about her without getting so down.
She wouldn't want you to miss her and be sad every time you thought of her. She would want you to live your life and live it well. And most of all be happy.

Answer 8

think about the good times you had with her, go visit her grave, what I do is I go to my grandmothers grave and sit and tell her everything b/c that's what I did when she was alive, it makes me fill better, but you take as much time as you need to grieve,that was your mother you know, pray pray pray God will help you through it

Answer 9

my mother passed in1998 that was hard and it to toOK along time for me to be ok with that.grieve is not a time frame one day your hurt and then time pass and i don't know how but it didn't hurt to think about her.it does take time

Answer 10

it is tough...keeping busy is about all i know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,it takes a long time..take one day at a time...........