Apparently he lost interest because I accussed him of cheating on me one day after I found a phone number and directions lying around after a recent argument we had. Come to find out I overreacted because it was directions to help move one of his friends stuff to his new house. And that was the truth since I ended up attending a new house party, plus my bf never lies to me. So now he doesn't trust that I trust him. And he's not sure if he's in love with me anymore, but knows he still loves and cares about me. I still talk to him after the breakup and we still have sex. I also know he broke up with me because he wasn't happy. He's in a lot of debt from past mistakes. And he doesn't want to bring me down with him anymore. But I still love him and we used to talk about marriage, I had so many dreams. But he felt pressured and overwhelmed and now says I'm in the same playing field as any other girl, and he's not dating anyone. Am I wasting my time?
2007-11-18 13:12:06 · 9 answers · asked by D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What I am going to suggest will be very hard, but you need to do it to find out where he is coming from.
He broke up with you because in his mind, he wasn't in love with you because of some stupid mistake. This mistake you made, well most guys would love the idea that you were jealous. To some guys, it means you really like them. It would be flattering. To brake up with someone after 5 years over that is ridiculous. It is something else. Maybe he wants to date another girl.
You need to teach him a lesson. He needs to learn to value what he has, not some new girl he doesn't even know. That lesson is not to play with your heart much longer or he will lose you forever.
Here is what I strongly suggest you do. CUT off all communication with him. That means no more sex! Stop calling him and don't take his calls. He needs to think about what he did and he needs time to really figure out if he loves you.
You will need to give him no longer than 2 months to figure this out. He will be calling you wanting to see you and have sex way before then. You say, I can not see you anymore and that you will not take him back without a long term commitment and plans to spend the rest of your life together. Without that, I will not see you again.
This plan won't work without giving him the 2 months to think about it. If you have standards, you will give him this time to figure out if you are the one for him...or not.
If you are not, move on. If you are, he will come after you in 2 months time.When he does, do not accept him back without a ring. He has had you long enough to know if you are right for him.
2007-11-18 13:29:18 · answer #1 · answered by roatanbruce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he just used the situation to get out of the relationship. Listen he knows whether he loves you or not and if he says he doesn't then he is lying. Plus after you break up with someone who says this about you then you should not be having sex with them. He is probably thinking why fool with a relationship if she will still have sex with me on a regular basis. What you need to do is give him some space and do your own thing. Please do not sit around and wait for him to make up his mind. If he rates with any ole girl then he is really not worth your time. Find a decent man who will give you the love and the special attention you deserve. Life is too short not to be happy.
2007-11-18 21:24:39 · answer #2 · answered by luvmyyorkies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Count this as your lucky day and run the other way. A fellow who won't/can't take care of his love, who can't/won't make a move after 5 years, will be a heavy rock in your pocket all your life. Set him aside and go live a real life with someone who is worth your love.
2007-11-18 21:18:45 · answer #3 · answered by Banker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is easy,,, stop having sex with him and stop being available. Don't return calls or texts. Do stuff with your friends and stay out really late. Sleep over your girlfriends house and do not answer your phone. A few weeks of this and he will be in love again,,,,,trust me!
2007-11-18 21:17:26 · answer #4 · answered by crasher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're doing worse than wasting your time. You're damaging your self-image and disrespecting yourself. Decide what you want and tell him. He either gives you what you want or he doesn't. If he doesn't know, then that's not giving you what you want. So move on. If you can't move on, then find someone older to talk to about how to let go without damaging yourself. good luck
2007-11-18 21:17:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ide have to say dont give up, and that you shouldnt jump to conclusions like you did, you should have talked to him about it or at least did some investigating. And you should know he still loves you because he is trying to protect you from his mistakes/problems (debt)
2007-11-18 21:17:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, sounds like he was looking for any excuse to breakup with you.
2007-11-18 21:15:53 · answer #7 · answered by peaches6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guarantee there is another woman he is interested in.
2007-11-18 21:15:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
forget him. he got so many excuse
2007-11-18 21:16:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋