Bad Sister?

Question

How do you tell an 9-year old girl not to use bad language, hand gestures, and vulgar behavior that it's not right? And what if she doesn't understand anything and doesn't mean what she says? And By the way, don't give me weird answers.

Answer 1

Your parents should be handling this matter. Still you can leave her a note(because she won't listen) " If you act cheap. No one will ever value you."

Answer 2

It sounds like her parents are AWOL.
At 9 years old, she is fully capable of understanding social standards. You don't have to explain the exact meanings, just that if you see or hear that kind of language, it is not right.

You simply explain that these are not common expressions, and should never be used in mixed company... that it makes her look like she has no class or upbringing. As a result, nice people will not allow her to come over to their houses... so her friends' families will not allow her to come over to slumber parties and the like. It can also be a bad thing if she wants to earn money by doing babysitting, because people don't want the babysitter teaching their kids bad things. It may also get her in big trouble at school.

Basically, if it is not common on "prime time" television, you should not be using it.

Answer 3

Just continue to tell her when her language is inappropriate. I'm assuming no one else in the family uses the language and gestures. If they do then the problem is harder to correct.

The family unit has to set what is acceptable and what isn't. All kids like to experiment to see the reactions to their actions. If you make it a negative reaction, then she will learn it's not going to fly with the family.

Do your parents punish her? That would be their job. As a sibling, you can just make her feel immature and childish using language and gestures that are not appropriate.

Answer 4

Does your sister have Tourette's Syndrome?
http://www.tsa-usa.org/news/0407RichardLewisPSAs.html

Although most people with Tourette's do not experience cursing, 10-15% of them do.

If your sister does not have a neurological condition like Tourette's that is causing the cursing,
perhaps you can give her a substitute for the bad words, hand gestures, and vulgar behavior.

When she says a swear in a sentence, you may want to repeat the sentence with a "cool" word in it instead of the swear.
So if she says, "He is an %$#@"
You can say, "He is a fuddly-duddly."

If she uses hand gestures, you can teach her some ameslan
[American Sign Language] perhaps the sign for "I love you"
or a few others.

If she is lifting her skirt or pulling down her pants to expose herself, you may want to give her something to hold on to instead that is interesting.

And if she is doing that in public, be prepared and carry a blanket in a daypack that can act as a quick cover-up.

Best Wishes.

Answer 5

Well here's a silly ? Where is she learning all the swears from? Do you or your parents talk that way around her? Movies? It's hard, but keep after her and tell her the next time you hear it that you're going to wash her mouth out with soap. It might work.

Answer 6

She learned from watching someone. Nicely correct her when she does crude things.....explain to her a young lady should not have the mouth of a sailor. Ask her for specific definitions of the words she is using, if she is just spouting regurgitated nonsense her friends say then inform her of the true meanings.

Answer 7

I always told my kids, not to swear unless something was really wrong. Otherwise, I won't recognize it when it really is bad if you talk that way every day.

Ask her if she thinks this is what grown-ups do. She may think this makes her more mature but point out the people she knows and loves who don't do those things. Ask her to be more like them and she'll earn your (and their) respect.

finally, she will grow out of it. Or get in trouble when she mouths off to someone who is bigger and meaner than she is and lets her have it.

Answer 8

I hope this isn't a case of do as I say, don't do as I do. She's getting the idea from someone that a potty mouth is OK.
She's just showing off for attention. If you ignore her, maybe she'll stop. Maybe not. She's pulling somebody's chain and getting results.

Answer 9

She learned it from somewhere.....at home, school, friends, television, movies.......

Maybe explain to her what it all means and how she comes across as being unintelligent and nasty.

Answer 10

you tell her straight up... don't use that.... cuz its bad... tell her what that means... and tell her what it can cause... and tell her straight up.. if she's continueing to do this.... than tell her exactly what it means.. and tell her everything... tell her like you would've told to a teenager... if she's nine and still not listening.. .than she's just being stubborn... so be stubborn back... and tell her like you would if she was older