and she DOESN'T take "criticism" or "correction" too well?
FYI: "harmful" in a way that will/could lead to trouble in the long run, NOT "harmful" in the way of abuse, but on the line of it.
2007-11-18 11:49:58 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I work with and have become friendly with a woman at work that is single with children. She complains constantly about their behavior and also does some things that are illegal and possibly harmful to her children. I struggle with how to speak to her at times and have tried just giving an example of how I would handle a situation with my own kids. I have also come right out and told her when I was upset by what she was doing. Nothing makes a difference.
I have finally come to the realization that something is going to have to scare her into changing. It's sad and frustrating but I have given her and her children over to God as I really have no control over this and have tried to help as best I can.
2007-11-18 17:42:14 · answer #1 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only 2 things you can do are...
1. don't make your 'suggestions' sound like corrections.
2. put a more immediate face on the problems that can happen in the "long run". That means a more direct 1-to-1 relationship between what she's doing (now) and the child's behavior / child's results (now).
The 3rd thing is to help her self-esteem skills that correction is a normal part of self-improvement, - without incriminating her current talents, - but foster her yerning for her to be the best she can be. After all, - if there's no self-improvement after 12 yrs. old, - then everyone would have the emotional / social / intellectual development of a 12 yr. old.
2007-11-18 12:03:20 · answer #2 · answered by MK6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may not want to listen but in concern for the children the truth is always the best way to go. You may also want to try tough love and tell her what may happen to her or her children if she keeps going in the direction she is going now. Sometimes with people who don't take criticism or correction well (i.e. know it alls) need to be shocked into correcting the harmful ways, and sometimes that means "tough love".
2007-11-18 12:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by South Memphis Lez 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's important to let her know that you BELIEVE that she wishes to be the best mom on the planet, and that you have faith that she has the ability to be.
Then let her know that you see some behaviors that concern you, and that, you fully admit that you may be concerned about nothing. And because you respect and care about her as a friend, you want to express your concerns to her face to face.
Let her know also, that you will not offer advice unless she asks for it. Ask her to listen until you are finished and then respond afterward, letting her know it is okay to let you know that you have made a mistake.
Most of all, remind her that children do not come with an instruction book. No mother is born with the knowledge of how to be a mom. Let her know that you are there for her and that she may come to you with questions or concerns and mention also, that you may not know the answers either, but if you don't, you will help her find them.
2007-11-18 12:07:21 · answer #4 · answered by Sue B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are talking about someone other than yourself...Butt Out. Unless you see physical abuse or dangerous neglect (Both which you should report to authorities) you probably don't see the whole picture. Parenting is an acquired skill, There is no pre programmed natural parenting.
Look after your own life, unless you see physical abuse or dangerous neglect.
2007-11-18 12:03:08 · answer #5 · answered by bob shark 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
show her how to be a more caring mother by showing her they way you parent. Parents tend to watch othre parents for ideas on how to be a better parent.
I had the same situation with a friend of mine so I would call once ina while and say hey you know what my child did this is how I handled it and say you heard about this form of correction on a parenting website. This may even encourage her to check out parenting sites herself.
2007-11-18 11:56:37 · answer #6 · answered by Crystal B 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if her parenting skills are hurting her kids, then she needs to know what she is doing wrong or what she can improve on. whats more important the welfare of her kids or her not taking advice well. i would say the kids good luck
2007-11-18 12:03:35 · answer #7 · answered by markieshoney 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, that's easy. Don't get offended when people give you advice. They aren't judging you, they just want you to do well.
2007-11-18 12:08:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no idea....if she doesn't take advice or criticism too well, no matter how you approach it she's bound to be offended....so what's more important, not offending her or trying to help the kids?
2007-11-18 11:54:43 · answer #9 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
just tell her parenting classes or NSPCC
2007-11-18 12:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋