Funeral etiquette?

Question

When someone attends a funeral, do they usually give flowers too, or are flowers usually sent when you are unable to attend the funeral?

OK - I phrased it wrong. I mean to the wake and yes, have them sent by a florist. But do you do this even when you attend?

The reason I ask is I was not able to attend a wake, so I sent flowers. My father did attend but he is furious with me that I did not have his name on the card. (we had a falling out months before and were not on speaking terms - long story)

OH, KIWI, I am so sorry for your loss!

Answer 1

I send them, either way. Some others give money to some special fund, instead of flowers, if the family requests it.

Personally, I feel that when someone does something as spectacular as die, they deserve a few flowers.

When my son died, only 2 friends sent flowers. That hurt me a lot..... A couple weeks later, I found out that my cousin had told everyone not to send any. She saw that we were spending as little as possible on the service, and she thought we were being cheap on purpose and that flowers would look too luxurious. Truth was, we spent what we could afford on the funeral. We'd spend our money on medical care.

Took me a long time to forgive her for that.


Thank you, PomMom. Know what? Your father could have - and should have - sent his own flowers. Why expect you to do this for him?

Thanks Tesyruyah

Answer 2

I always send Flowers even if I attend calling hours and the Funeral. It is just a courtesy to the Family and to let them know you are thinking of them. I have even sent Flowers to close friends and family members to their homes. There are instants-as where I have given a card with money if I know the Family is under a financial burden. Flowers die and sometimes money helps a lot more. You have to use common sense sometimes and it depends on the circumstances. It is always a tough time for the family.

Answer 3

We usually have flowers or a pretty plant sent to the funeral home, whether we attend the funeral or not. When donations to the family are accepted we usually do that instead of flowers, since usually they have a financial need in those cases.

Answer 4

People do not bring flowers to a funeral. They call a florist and have them sent either to the funeral home or to the home of the family. Whether you attend the funeral or not, you should have flowers sent.

Answer 5

Ignore your father's anger. If you have no working relationship with him, it is unreasonable for him to expect consideration and inclusion in such a matter.

Flowers sent to the survivor's home or to the funeral home are always a good idea if you are a relative or friend or business associate.

Many survivors take comfort in walking around the room and viewing the flowers and the names on the cards. What you did was thoughtful and compassionate.

To Kiwi: My condolences and a bouquet of purest white roses to you on the passing of your son. May G-d bless you and your family.

Answer 6

It's a personal choice I think.
I'm sure your presence at the funeral means just as much to them as sending flowers.
I think you do what feels right to you and if you feel it's not necessary to send flowers...then don't (It's not the flowers, it's what they represent...and you may find you have represented your sympathy and support without the need for flowers).

Answer 7

Hi Pom mom. I send flower to the wake only. And only If I know the person very well. Other wise I will get a a mass card and bring it to the furneral home and leave it for the family.

Answer 8

If I want to give flowers,I do it. It doesn't matter whether i am planning to go or not.

Answer 9

hi sometimes people only want family flowers .xx