Is it the norm for five & six-year olds to break the majority of their toys?

Question

I may be overreacting. But, I was talking to my sister about what to buy my niece and nephew for Christmas. She told me not to buy a lot of toys with small parts because they break them, lose them in a few days, or the dog chews them up. Well, I responded: "Well, why don't they learn to take better care of their stuff." (I mean, it is difficult to find toys without small parts). She said that's is how kids are and that she just got rid of a bunch of toys in which they lost a lot of parts to. Obviously, I do not have any children of my own, but is this acceptable behavior? I know kids will be kids and the toys won't last forever. But that stuff costs money. Every year, I spend more than I should on those kids. I do it because I want to and I love them, but I was a bit hurt and angry because it seems like they are unappreciative...mainly my sister and her husband. I can't blame the kids so much because parents should be teaching them to respect property. Am I wrong for thinking this?

Answer 1

This is normal behavior for children whose parents are not paying attention and teaching the children values. Sorry but it sounds like your sister is the one who is not appreciative. They should be teaching the children values - and no it is not too early

Answer 2

My kids are like that too, but it's not for lack of trying on my part to teach them appreciation and respect. Despite being told over and over, they still do it.When they are in their room playing and I am downstairs cooking dinner, the rules go out the window. I find the mess later on. So what I've had to do is keep those toys (delicate, expensive, or lots of small parts) put away in a high up place and they can only use them when a grown up can supervise. Whenever a relative asks what my kids would like for Christmas or birthdays I usually tell them clothes or school supplies. Besides, it's character building to not get every toy you could ever want and might make them appreciate more.

To answer your question: Yes it is normal, but it's not something you should be expected to just shrug your shoulders at and ignore. Yes kids will be kids, but parents need to be parents. It's perfectly understandable for you to be hurt and angry.I would.

Answer 3

Toys for this age kids shouldn't have a lot of parts for this very reason (and safety). No, kids that age shouldn't be expected to have a toy last much more than a few months if it had a lot of parts.

Once you give a gift it is there's to do with as they like. If it pisses you off that you spend so much money - spend less. Buy clothes that they will grow out of in a year anyway. Buy art supplies that get used up. Or buy things without parts - like an Ipod shuffle loaded with music. A personal dvd player and some dvds.

Answer 4

Oh, gosh! This reminded me of a story from years ago when a friend was told by a young boy that the boy wanted to marry his young daughter. The wise man told the boy he was a really nice boy and had a few questions. "Where are you and Megan planning to live?" to which the boy replied they would be living in the man's garage. "What will you do for furniture?" and the boy replied that their parents could give them what was in their rooms. The man asked the young boy what he where he would be working so he could afford to take care of the little girl. The boy stood there a few seconds and told the man his parents wouldn't let him work because he was in elementary school. So a few minutes of silence and the boy told the man he'd think about it. They should probably not get married "right now." The man thanked the boy for the visit and he went back home. The people are grown now both have families of their own. And the Dad never embarrassed the little boy with the story. After all, he was the boy's family's pastor and they all still love the wise man.

Answer 5

If you are buying toys that are appropriate to their age level, than no, they shouldn't be getting broken so easily. It sounds like your sister and her husband are lazy about teaching them the proper way to tidy up after themselves (i've found with my children that when things get broken, it is generally when they aren't put away correctly.) You can't be angry at the children for being ungrateful, it isn't likely that they mean to be unappreciative. They are just kids, and they are still young enough not to understand that the world doesn't revolve around them.

You are right when you say that their parents should be teaching them to respect things. Unfortunately, you can't say anything to them, or it will be rude and disrespectful of their parental authority. I would suggest buying the kids some things they can't break too easily, or maybe get them some clothes instead (they are still young enough to think getting clothes is neat) and keep your opinions to yourself, or you'll end up with a holiday fight rather than a nice day with the family.

Answer 6

Yeah, it's pretty normal. Kids are curious and they will poke and prod and pull at things to figure them out. It helps build their brain power! Get them toys then that they can pull apart-contruction sets, puzzles, that sort of thing.

Sounds like you just have issues around how much you spend on the kids. Truthfully, they're kids and they have no idea how much stuff costs nor do they have a concept of "value" at that age so to be upset about them destroying what you've spent money on is a silly waste of time. They also won't know if you get them a toy or not so if you really resent spending money on them then just don't. If you want to put the money to better use then start buying them savings bonds or something. That's what my aunts used to do. When they get older they will definitely appreciate that!

Answer 7

your not wrong
all you want is for the kids to treat your gift better right?
if they are not going to do that then dont buy them toys in the first place
show them love in a different way i always spoil my neice and nephew by taking them out to eat and buy them things like candy and spend time with them by playing their stupid little games do something that they cant get from their parents (thats way i do it)
if they say not to buy them the toys then dont
again toys arent the only option
get them clothes or something
last year i bought cute little spider man blanket and bedset set for my nephew
i also got my neice a little pair of shoes
they probably feel bad because your the one spending money
wait until they are more older to learn responsibility so you can get them better stuff

Answer 8

Oh, my goodness, you are one of those wonderful aunts that every child should have! Your kindness may not be appreciated, but now your generosity can be curbed a bit without guilt.

Get the kids a gift card to Toys R Us and be done with the hullabaloo and the complaints about parts. Let the picky parents deal with selection and count yourself lucky if they don't insist YOU take the kids to the store!

Answer 9

No, it is not common or acceptable. They are old enough to be responsible for their belongings and to take care of them. My son never broke his toys, he lost a few, but didn't break them, if he had, he'd have received no more. He's 11 now, still loses stuff, but again, knows better than break them.

Answer 10

My 6yr old is the worst with breaking toys so when he breaks his he is done, no replacement or nothing, but now he thinks it is funny tobreak his brothers toys and when he does this he has to replace the toy with one of his own... he doesnt break as many as he used too so i hope this phase will soon pass...