You're not my mommy/daddy?

Question

Has your kids ever said this to you???
What did you do about it???

My 5 yr. old said it to me and boy did it just aaaarrrrrrrrgggggg!!! I did not go through morning sickness, labor, surgery,sacrifice everything I ever was to hear this from my kid!!!!

What about you?? Your thoughts??

She has said this to her daddy, but never to me...My mind was blown!!!

Thank you all for your answers...

Being a mom is tougher than being single with no money, no food, and no place to live!

I've been single with no money,no job, and no place to live all at the same time.That was a piece of cake compared to being a mom!!!! The job of a mom is the toughest one in world, with everything there is that has to be done as a mom--doctor,nurse, teacher, cook, laundress, maid, etc..All these jobs piled into one person..So being single with no money, job, and homeless at the same time is nothing!!
I love being a mom, but what my daughter said was tough considering the way things have been lately with the finances, and living conditions. What she said was the last thing I needed to hear esp. afte all the sacrifices lately and in the past..
I love her and always will no matter what she says, but that just really hurt today of all days..

Answer 1

One thing that Ive learned is to not take what your child says personally, expically when they are so young. It will really help you to snap back with a good disiplaniary action instead of getting angry.

Answer 2

This is just the beginning of things your child will say to you. They have no concept of sacrifice so this is not unusual. My favorite thing to say is "I'm sorry you feel that way, that must be really sad. I am your mommy no matter what you say and I will always love you no matter what." Another option is to ask them who they would rather have for a mommy/daddy and then start talking about how they are going to get there i.e. walking because since you are NOT the mom anymore. I told mine since I wasn't his mommy then I was a stranger and he couldn't ride in my car.. He was a little older though. Anyway, by the time we got through he was begging to stay.

Answer 3

I've never gotten that particular phrase, as far as I remember.

I did, for a while, get a lot of "You're not my best friend!"'s, though.

The first time I heard it, I felt hurt and a little angry, for the same reason you're upset about what your kid said to you. After the initial reaction, though, I started thinking about the fact that I'm really not, nor should I be, his best friend. I'm his mom. I'm the one who has to make sure he does all the things he needs to do, whether he wants to or not, so he can be a well-adjusted, fully functioning adult. So my response after that was along the lines of "I can live with that." I think it threw them off so much, they quit, just because of the fact they got an answer they really weren't expecting.

Answer 4

I am not a parent, but a child of God and went threw parent issues, when I would say something like this is because I felt you where not around a lot, always seemed as if someone else was there more than you, that person somehow take on the role as mother/father, so if you do something not pleasing that hurts their feelings they are going to say this to hurt yours. I can only suggest spending a little more quality time with your child, this is a cry for missing you. For this is how I felt. As adults we work more and spend less time with our children, one day we will realize its not about the material things now that make a child but the time and love we give them to make them strong loving individuals.

Answer 5

My children never used these words and they had the right to since I adopted. But look at the result of his comment:aaaarrrrrrrrrgggggg!! You gave him more power than any 5 year old needs. Next time have a prepared answer such as: You may not like me much right now, but yes I am your mom. Say it with a smile with a loving tone and he losses all power. Unfortunately, sometimes as parents we have to use our knowledge and figure out what the child expects from us and why. Taking the power out of their words and behaviors is often the most powerful way to discipline.

Answer 6

kids go through that.....My daughter looked at me and said I hate you right after my second one was born..That was heart breaking.. I agree you don't go thur all that just to hear your child say horrible things to you.. I did cry at first then I had a talk with my daughter about why she hated me.. At 5 kids will say things you wouldn't believe especially hearing it else where.. I am divorced and there daddy has a gf with children and she allows them to tell him Your Not my daddy and well my girls hear it and repeat it.. I have had several talks with them about it .. They know they are doing wrong but if one does it then it okay for the rest..

Answer 7

Don't let it get you so rouled up, the kid is only 5 and isn't experienced enough or developed enough mentally to even truly comprehend the meaning of saying that. They don't really get exactly what that means. so chances are they have picked this saying up elsewhere and are saying to push your buttons, they get easily when something pushes you, especially at 5, boundary testing. Sit the child down and nicely explain that you don't say tat to someone and that you are the adult, mommy/daddy or not, you are the adult and the child needs to listen. Remember, you are dealing with a small child, not a teenager or developed adult who is blatantly trying to hurt you. this child, just did n't want to listen, and that's probably the total sum of it.

Answer 8

Your son is seeing how far he can push you. He knows that it gets your goat, and he gets some kind of pleasure from it. Next time he says that, calmly say "Really? I'm not? Then who IS your mommy?" Or you could just nonchalantly say "Oh, okay," and go about your business. Don't raise your voice or cry. Don't punish him or make him feel bad. You can easily take the fun out of it for him by showing him that that statement isn't going to get him anywhere.

Answer 9

how on earth can you say

Being a mom is tougher than being single with no money, no food, and no place to live!

I think there are thousands of homeless people who would switch lives in a second.

Your 5 year old was angry and will get over it. Just tell him "you wish"

I cannot believe you think the homeless who worry about where ther next meal will come from, whether they will be beaten and set on fire while they sleep, who may die from the cold in winter have it easier than you.

Answer 10

Perhaps you're spoiling them or you're just being strict and they don't like it. Don't let this come between you two though. After all, the child is only 5 years old. Humans take time for their brain to develop.