Social services recently got involved with me cus im 28 weeks preggers and 21 years old and They have put my baby on the at risk register due to my previous 2 kids being adopted due to my previous circumstances. I was young when i had my 2 kids, i was in a bad r-ship and got beaten up by my ex and he was into drugs so my kids were taken away and adopted. that was 2 years ago. since then i have got rid of my ex, i am with a new partner who treats me so well and is perfect. I am happy and have basically sorted my life out. i have done my home up nice and began to prepare for my babys birth. i have face to face contact with my 2 kids who were adopted whereas the dad doesnt so that proves it was nt my fault they were taken!! The thing is the social workers were so positive about my changes i had made to my life and said they would not remove my new baby from my care. But should i trust them?? i dont wanna lose my new baby!!
2007-11-18 11:09:36 · 13 answers · asked by Rosemarie A 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
firstly to all those languishing in the misguided opinion that social workers are your friends, and that they are here to help. I suggest that the majority of you are from what basically amounts to "nice middle class" families. In answer to your question..should you trust them? Remember they are not your mates, no matter what accent they affect to try and sound more street, they dont know what its like to be in your position, else they would never have been hired by the local authority in the first place. So dont chat to them about what your mates are doing this weekend, dont drop yourself in it, play the game with them, be polite with them, get your kid off the register and them off your back and then breathe a huge sigh of relief! My own particular dislike of social services stems from my background as a traveller. It would seem you can abuse your kids any way you see fit if you happen to have a nice middle class family, drive an M.P.V and have laura ashley wallpaper. If on the other hand you live a healthy life, grow your own veg, care about the environment, home school your kids, but happen to live in a vehicle or in an alternative set-up, you are public property. I have even witnessed incedents whereby social services have turned up on a travellers site with pre-printed place of safety orders, only the names left blank to be filled in when theyve "caught" someones kid during an eviction while the police are being even more heavy handed. So I know from personal experience that there are some rotten apples in the barrel of social services, God look at the Victoria Climbie case, the officers in that case were scared off at the door because they thought they might get scabies by going into the house, oh and the "Aunt" who eventually killed the poor baby told them there wasnt a problem and shooed them away...please, a catalogue of ineptitudes and incompetance, and its far from being the only example. To the poster of the question, empower yourself, your older and wiser than you were with your last two , find some strong support, from someone other than the authorities, look after yourself and your little one, you know your baby better than they do, just dont let them take the p**s. Good luck x
2007-11-18 13:11:16 · answer #1 · answered by claudy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For some people... it takes a long time to trust others. Trust isn't automatically given in return every time. I have learned not everyone is worthy of trusting, even if they say they are. People will say they want to be your friend and not really mean it. People will say you can trust them and turn around to do something hurtful to you. With me... trust is earned and not given easily. The people who have earned my trust are ones who took the time to build trust and show they were worthy of it. What you are asking may be true for some or many, but not all. If somebody entrusts me with something, I don't feel obligated to return the favor. Trust builds trust.... In a sense, that's true. The more someone shows they are trustworthy and remains that way, the more I may decide I can trust them. On the other hand, some want more trust than others feel it's okay to give. I'm not explaining this as well as I'd like to. Trust is different for everyone and people won't always return trust, just because it's given.
2016-04-04 21:22:26 · answer #2 · answered by Erica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Social Services can also be of use to you. You have sorted yourself out compared to when you had your other two but you may still need some guidance with you new baby. They are there to protect your child as a part of your family not to remove the baby unless absolutely necessary. Good luck I am sure you will have a much better experience with the new baby and continuing support from your new partner
2007-11-18 11:32:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They cant remove your baby if u are in a stable relationship an have a good home. But because of what happened in the past they have to keep an eye to be sure things have changed. Its in best interest of baby. x
2007-11-18 20:59:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once they see the effort you have made and how good you are with your baby then the baby should be taken off the at risk register!
They will just be making sure you can cope and you will prove to them you can!
Good luck!
2007-11-19 00:09:51 · answer #5 · answered by Nicki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would contact a family law attorney and discuss it with him/her. If you are in a better situation with a supporting relationship, I don't think the social services will take your child from you, but if you want to protect yourself to make sure they can't and won't, you will need to talk to an attorney. Maybe there is no chance they will, but talking to a lawyer is your best bet to protect yourself and your rights.
2007-11-18 11:18:37 · answer #6 · answered by theseeker4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The goal of the state if always reconciliation. Its cheaper, and better for the kids to keep them in the home unless its too risky, or change does not seem to be happening.
You have proven you can change, and that you're in a stable environment. Work with them, and then them work with you, they WANT the baby to stay with you. Trust me.
2007-11-18 11:15:31 · answer #7 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't trust or distrust them. Just live your life the way you should, do what is right for this child and don't let them concern you. They are there to look out for the welfare of the children. It should be nice to know that if something happens and you need help they are already involved.
2007-11-18 11:27:34 · answer #8 · answered by ebosgramma 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once you've proven to the SS that you've changed your life and that you're looking after your new baby properly they will remove baby from risk register and leave you alone.Good luck
2007-11-18 11:17:04 · answer #9 · answered by sundancer332003 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Keep your life in Order and stay on track and they will leave you alone they have to keep checking that's their job just don't do anything to give them a reason to take the baby
2007-11-18 11:15:14 · answer #10 · answered by Krista W 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋