should i bother seeing this therapist still?

Question

I'm going to a therapist about my social anxiety but I don't think she's dealt with someone who's had it before. I was too shy to ask. But yeah she has me printing out stuff on how to manage social anxiety. I don't have insurance so I can't see another therapist (she's a social worker). She's nice and seems to understand how I feel but it feels pointless. If she doesn't know how to help me overcome social anxiety then I might as well do it on my own, without seeing her. Am I right in thinking this way? I'm afraid she'll have me talking about the past and analyzing what went wrong..

Answer 1

I'm not going to say whether or not you should continue seeing this particular therapist. In the end this is a decision for you to make based on how you feel about the sessions and how her style matches with your needs.

If you decide to see a different therapist there are options. If you don't have insurance I would recommend looking into some of the following:

* sliding fee scale clinics. The fee is generally income based and can go down as far as a few dollars or free depending on the clinic.

* clinics that have mental health practicum students. Often the cost is much less but the quality is generally kept up because the students are supervised by licensed psychologists.

* If you're a student check into the mental health services through your school. If you are employed you can contact the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) through your employer. The majority of employers offer this and it is a free referral service regardless of whether you have insurance.

You can also let your therapist know what your concerns are and see if there are ways to rework or modify sessions to better serve your needs.

Answer 2

Ive experienced the same thing with therapists Ive seen. Though some have been compassionate, Ive rarely gained any insight from them in how to fix my problems.

I started turning my focus towards credible self help books and finally began gaining insight into how to overcome my problems. I am becoming more convinced that analyzing the past is not half as important as making changes to the way I think in the present. I have learned that a lot of my problems are rooted in irrational beliefs I have about myself, others and about life in general. I continue reading books in order to challenge these beliefs. I have also learned that there is a real connection between what I think, and how I feel and behave. As my thinking changes, so too do my feelings and behaviours. I struggle with anxiety too, due to some symptoms of my mental illness, and have found my anxiety lessen and my comfort level rise in social situations from applying these ideas in my life.

If you would like to learn more about these ideas, I suggest seeking a book Im reading now called 'A Guide To Rational Living' by Albert Ellis. Another one that might give you insight is called 'Self Defeating Behaviours' by Milton Cudney.

Best wishes.

Answer 3

you said:
"I'm going to a therapist about my social anxiety but I don't think she's dealt with someone who's had it before. I was too shy to ask."

funny stuff, you where afraid to ask. Of course you are thats what social anciety is silly. I laught because I have gone through the same thing. Its really hard to say if this person is right for you or not. I supposed that if you fell she is not for you then maybe find someone else. One thing to note is that we all at some point need help from someone. She may not have a lot of experience but at least she is having you do some research. The thing is that fear is really a misunderstanding or lack of knowledge of something. We fear the dark because we don't know what is out there because we can't see it. If someone where to turn on the lights the fear goes away. Its really odd because the place have not changed it is the same place with or without the lights. So, by your terapist providing you with some info she is helping you even if is not the best of help.

There are things you can do to try to help overcome social ansiety. One is to understand what it is. Another is to understand why it is. That second one is hard. Yet another things is to understand your reactions to situations. For example I'm not comfortable with heights. I am very aware when I'm starting to panic and I can calm myself down. This is because I know my self.

To overcome social ansiety you need to practice being social. Easy said than done. The trick to this is do a few step at a time. For example, think of a question like could you give me the time. Simple question. Now ask a stranger that question. Is not a non treatening question but, because you are now aware that you are going to ask somebody your mind tries to make a bigger deal of it than what it really is. There is no way around it except to try asking the question. SO, yeah, go down town to a very well populated area and start asking strangers to give you the time of day. Observe your reaction and the peoples reaction. Note that they don't know you are doing an excercice. To them you are just asking for the time. Some will gladly give it to you and some will ignore you. Very few people will go beyond just giving you the time. Remember to say thank you when they give you the answer.

Once you feel more comfortable with this excersice then come up with another one that requires more interaction with people. For example, come up with a fake survey for school. Just make up 10 questions about anything. A few of them could be yes or no. Just remember threat it as if you where working for some firm doing surveys. This means that there are people who will not want to play along and take the survey. This is good because it makes you get used to being rejected. Again, ask the 10 questions and observe your reaction and their reactions. Note that some people really feel strongly about their believes. So, you have to act as a profesional as in hey, I'm just doing my homework. Yes, it is fake but they don't know that.

I usually practice what I'm going to say or ask someone before I get there as well as follow up questions. Even for the phone. People can be intimidating. Sometimes I don't rehearst before time and then I make a mess out of myself. Remember you can't win them all. However, you can minimized the damage. For example, when you want to do a practice run do it out side of your area. That way, if you screw up the people that you see everyday don't think you are weird. Thats what I do. Let your friends see the perfected version of your act.

In the end the only way to overcome your fears is to confront your fears. No other way around it. I find it best to take small steps.

Answer 4

Maybe you should tell her that you would really like to talk to someone else that has more experience in this area. Reading handouts are ok but you can do that on your own. You need to ba able to discuss these issues with someone.
Also, talking about the past can be a good thing. It helps to go back and find out what caused the problem to begin with. you have to be able to deal with the past before you can deal with the present.

Answer 5

i would try and get another therapist as social anxiety is difficult to overcome by ones self

Answer 6

see if you can find a place who takes a sliding fee based on income