Is this romantic??? Yes or no?

Question

I have been writing a poem for the secret love of my life---I usually leave them on her doorstep.

Here's what I've got so far....

I see your shining eyes aglow
with reflections of the burning fire
your house burns down from love you've scorned
and I laugh silently from afar

Any comments????

Also, I've kind of got writer's block. Could somebody help finish it---please.....

Answer 1

I love it ! hell hath no fury like a man and a gallon of gasoline.

Answer 2

why don't you just tell her you like her? i don't think the poems will do it. Thats not an attack on your talent as a poet. Just tell her with a love letter rather than poem or face to face. If you defo want to go with the poetry thing then don't try so hard. The poem seems a little odd. Not quite sure how to take it's meaning which could end up going against you and your chances with her. Just ask her out, Tell her in plain english you like her!!!

Answer 3

Aw.....it's so sweet that you're writing a poem to your secret love of life...and leaving them on her door step.

Or really like what you have so far.

I'm failing in creative writing/poetry right now, so I can't really help you, but maybe perhaps you should say something about her laugh, or her hair, or something about her personalities, and use some similes and metaphors.

Hope this helps you a little bit :]

Answer 4

That sounds kind of scary! Try this:

I'm a friend unknown to you.
You brighten my every day, I'm such a goof.

I'm sure you would agree, if only we can meet!

I'll wear a clue for you to know, a flower on my right lapel.

The next time I go to school or church or work, the place I see you, the most.

If you agree to meet me there, just smile at me and wave hello! I walk to you, and introduce myself!

I feel safe, with your will, whether it's a yes or no!

GADNYNJ@answers/yahoo.com
(I give you permission to use this poem, but you cannot calm it as yours.)

Answer 5

If the house burns from love you should be in it with her don't you think. How can it get that hot if she doesn't know who is causing the heat? Give it something to be romantic for now. It is good but, it leaves a lot to think about.

Answer 6

ummm It is unique I must say. If I had received that though, I would probably call the police for I am thinking that someone is going to burn my house down and laugh about it. Perhaps " your world crumbles down from the love you scorned and I mysteriously gaze from afar.
The ocean swells deep and fast as I think i have found my love at last.... good luck man

Answer 7

I'm a writer too and that's not really romantic unless she can understand what it means...She'll probably think okay my house is burning down and wow he's laughing at me. Why don't u try this?

You're the one for me,
Though i know that you can't see it
But without your love i don't what i'd do.
Because i just can't keep my mind off of you.

Answer 8

are you mad? that's not romantic its twisted. you should write some thing like.
I see you eyes twinkle aglow
with the reflections of the sunlight gleaming like diamonds
some thing like that. never use some thing in a hate form to put in a love poem.

Answer 9

umm its kinda freaky you laugh silently from afar, your house burns down.....you seem kinda like a stalker. I think you should stop w/ those and acctually talk to her!

good luck!

xoxo<3

Answer 10

No, it sounds like the rants of a Psychopath. If she's spurned you, move on, find someone better who loves you back, you must not waste your energy on lost love. Believe me, it will cause you more harm. You clearly have passion and love to give, why waste it on someone who has spurned you......

Answer 11

Is this a love poem? Seems a little cynical and mean.