I have only been seeing my boyfriend for a short while, and on thursday i got some tests results back (they were bad) my cancer may be back. i have to see a specialist before that can be certin.
any way i was first diagnosed at 22 (three years ago) and back then i was with another guy, "George" he and i had been together almost 2 years when it was discovered. he was very supportive and helped me all the way.
but now i'm with "John" and like i said new relationship.
"george" and i broke up on good terms and i was wondering would it be a good idea or bad idea to inform "george" that it's back and ask him to be there to support and give advice to "john" if he needs it?
and is it a good idea to suggest it to "john" or is that steping on his man hood and saying he can't cope?
I thought it might be a good idea that there be support for him if he needs it, from someone who has been through it (even if it is my ex)
honest opinion. good idea? or bad idea?
2007-11-18 03:43:05 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OK, not a man, but wanted to respond, first of all, I'm very sorry for your current health problem and hope that you are able to overcome. 2nd, if you truly care about John, then give him a chance. You could mention to him that you were with George during your last diagnosis/treatment and he was really helpful, ended things amicably, etc; and that if HE wants to, he could chat with George about what he did. But if you care about him, you need to give him a chance to support you in his own way. He could surprise you! Good luck and prayers to you.
2007-11-18 03:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by ♀Redheaded Sunshine☼ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm so sorry. I would ask George to be there for you,
and for John if he needs it, since you are on good terms.
I would tell John the situation (does he even know you had
cancer before?) kind of on a "need to know" basis. Only tell
him what he needs to know, when he needs to know. He might be overwhelmed, he might not. And you said your
cancer "might" be back. Why not wait till you're sure before
you tell John? If he is having trouble with it, tell him you have
a friend who might be able to help him. If not, don't mention
George. I think it depends on how serious you are already.
Good luck and be strong! You beat this before, you can do
it again!
2007-11-18 11:50:51 · answer #2 · answered by doodlebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do need support from family and friends and if they are friends, they will give it. But it should come directly, not indirectly. Asking one friend to "help" another to support you is not a good idea. Support should be direct. This will only confuse things. If John needs help with his emotions etc on this, he will seek his own support mechanisms. If he needs information, he can seek that from professional sources. Best bet for the relationship to work in this situation is for you both to obtain counseling. It would help you both significantly.
Good luck.
2007-11-18 11:46:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
Firstly I think you should stop worrying about supporting your new boyfriend and start worrying about getting yourself better! But as you asked.... I think you should tell the new guy the truth and explain that the last guy was really good and that if the new guy wants any advice he should contact him. That way HE chooses whether he wants to contact your ex or not. Otherwise he might think its weird or et jealous! Good Luck, I really hope you get well soon.
2007-11-18 11:52:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋