Muslims, please help! I am lost!?

Question

I am the daughter of a very devote muslim father and have always been a good daughter and servant of allah. My greatest desire is to please allah and my father, but I am very challenged now.
My father has given me to one of his best friends. He is also a very devote muslim, and father says he was a good husband to both of his former wives.
I know that I have no real reason to object, but I am only 9, and I want wanted to marry someone my own age. The man who my father gave me to is somewhere past his fifties. I am afraid to tell my father, because he will think me ungratefull and punish me. He told me when he made the arrangements that the Prophet (PBUH) consumated his marriage with Aeshia when she was nine, and that I am following in the way of the Prophet's (PBUH) favorite wife.
Is it wrong for me to think these thoughts? I really am not ungrateful, I am just scared.
I dare not tell my father, because he will hurt me. What should I do?

I am quite hurt by some of the comments I got here, and am sure that they did not come from good muslims.
If my sentence structure is good, it is a praise to the teachers who taught me, and to my mother who sent me. I do not see why I am being attacked for it.

SweetWater, you are wrong. The Prophet (PBUH) did not rape her. She was his favorite wife. He provided for her all his life.

I cannot disobey my father because I will go to hell. I asked my mother, and she told me that I would go to hell for not being gratefull, and that I had better not let my father hear me complaining.

Answer 1

run away

Answer 2

Talk to the man who your father wants you to marry. Explain to him your feelings and be straight about it. If he's a good Muslim, like you say he is, he'll honor your feelings and not marry you. If he's not, well then, tell your dad he's not a good Muslim. If you are courageous enough to do this, don't forget to say how your dad is comparing this man to the Prophet and that in itself is a big sin.

If that doesn't work, just ask for more time. Obviously if your parents love you they'll drop the idea. If that doesn't work, you can always say 'NO' at the time of Nikah when the Wali asks you if you want to marry this guy. If you don't, say NO. Don't feel bad, because Allah gives you the RIGHT to say NO even if it's against your parents' wishes. The very reason Allah wanted the Wali to ask the bride at the time of the Nikah if she wanted to marry the man was because of this. Just say NO. Be brave. Allah will help you.

And just to make things clear about the Prophet marrying Aisha because some people here accused him of 'raping'. First of all, I find it really sad that these people haven't even read the history behind that marriage and are just taking part in other peoples' faiths blindly. It's pitiful, really. But anyway, let me point out that during that time, people used to have very short life-spans in Arabia. They used to live between 40 to 60 years maximum. So it was only normal and natural for girls to be married off at ages 9 or 10 or similar.

Also, it is important to know that girls during the Biblical and Islamic days used to be married off at young ages when they either had their first periods, or their breasts start showing off. In other words, when they turn into "women", then they get married off. It was quite different for men on the other hand, because physical power and the ability of living an independent life had always been and will always be a mandatory requirement for men to have in life. So men waited much longer than women in terms of getting married. The guy had to develop both his body and mind before he was ready for marriage.

That is why you see girls as young as 9 or 10 were married to men as old as 30 or even older. The culture back then in many countries (NON-MUSLIM ONES TOO) is quite different than what you live in today. Keep that in mind. To the person who asked this question - if your mother and father are literate, please explain this to them. Also, show them this verse from the Holy Quran:
“O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will.” (Quran 4: 19)

It's WRONG to marry you off if you don't want to. They're committing a sin in the eyes of God. Hopefully this will discourage them.

Furthermore, Aisha's parents were the ones who married her to our Prophet, and no Muslim or even pagan objected to the marriage because it was widely practiced. Please think thrice before saying what you're saying. I feel it's really stupid to assume something's authentic based on your own intuition. Just because you think it's right to assume, doesn't mean it is.

Prophet Muhammad's marriage with Aisha was 100% legal and acceptable by all laws at THAT time.
So to call Prophet Muhammad a pedophile for marrying a girl that was OFFERED TO HIM by her parents and was accepted by all of the people back then including the enemies of Islam, the pagans, is quite absurd. Think before you talk.

And the girl who asked this question, have courage. Trust in yourself, your parents, and Allah. Salam.

Answer 3

first of all alsalm aleekoom

and oh my god no girl u should tell your father what you feel cuz yeah the prophet pbuh did marry a 9 years old..but that was like wayyyyyyyyy back then... now days ppl changed and theyr not the same...you got to talk to ur father about that and if your not happy u got to speak up cuz then yuo wont be happy in your life...and ur 9???? where do you live???
oh girl im really sorry for you

i hope Allah will be with you in every step you take in your life

ur sister....
if you got any Q just come and ask me....

alslam alykoom...

Answer 4

I do not know if yr particular case is genuine but that does not mean that this sort of thing does not go on.
The most frustrating sad feeling is I (many others too i am sure) feel so helpless. Some how I hope Allaha or God will look after you. Be brave.

Answer 5

Are yall really that stupid to believe a 9 year old wrote this? This is no way in hell a 9 year old could spell most of these words and use grammar like this. Wake the hell up people!

Answer 6

You are a bigot who has planted a bigoted question. How can someone answer a person like you?

And, 9 was a marriageable age back then-------tho Aisha grew up before the marriage was consummated. But, then, you knew that, didn't you?

Answer 7

You do have reason to object. And it is not wrong for you to think these thoughts. If he is going to hurt you, try to get some evidence and report it to the police. You shouldn't be forced into marriage if you don't love someone - that is the complete opposite of what marriage is about. I would tell the police and see what they do. And you have extremely good English for a nine year old... infact, you should try and wright like a nine year old if you want to trick us, if this is a trick. I know this stuff does happen and that it is completely wrong, but please don't pretend.

Answer 8

I think your father is out of his rot picking mind
and No you have every right to feel scared
What kind of parent would pair up a nine yr old and a fifty yr old to get married
My God
That is even illigal I feel really sorry for you

Answer 9

I hate reading this kind of stuff, cause it really does go on. And it stinks !!!!! Then I thought....Is this a joke ?
But I'm beginning to agree with the others. I don't believe you are 9. I don't believe you're sitting on a computer at level 1 asking this question. And you SHOULD be ashamed.

Answer 10

~to come on a public forum and mock billions of people religion is a true disgrace. if you were really 9, Im quite sure your sentence structure would not be as is. Get a life, and pray that God forgives you for trying to be controversial, and stir up a debate. You should be ashamed!

Answer 11

Muhammad did marry a 9 year old, and had multiple wives. He also rightly worried that he was demon possessed:, http://www.answering-islam.org/Silas/demons.htm. And who did more than just hit people, but promoted religious violence in clear contrast to the Lord Jesus, who came long before and him and whom Muhammad effectively denied. http://peacebyjesus.witnesstoday.org/JESUS.Vs.Muhammad.html

Nowhere in the Bible, which came first, was someone as young as 9 years old married, esp. to a man over 5 times her age. And having more than one wife is also not part of God's perfect plan.

Your father may be an otherwise good man but he is sadly deceived, as multitudes others are, by Muhammadism: http://bibleprobe.com/muhammad.htm

The Quran (or Koran) was compiled hundreds of years after the Bible, and constantly contradicts it (Muhammad was illiterate, and likely got his mixed up stories from mixed up illiterate traders). Yet Muhammad, in his ignorance of it, appealed to the "people of the Book" (Jews and Christians) for verification and confirmed the same Bible we now have (Sura 2:87, 5:46, 5:68, 29:46 and 43:63). Trying to explain this away, Islam came up with the nonsensical assertation that the Bible was changed wherever it contradicts the Quran. Yet there is not ONE SINGLE Biblical manuscript among the thousands of partial or full ones (and which precede the Quran) that agree with the Quran in it's contrary accounts! In addition, the changes that would be necessary to even add or subtract the death and resurrection of Christ (which Islam denies) would not simply necessitate some changes, but virtually a complete rewriting of the New Testament alone! While manuscript evidence from before and after Muhammad's time completely eliminates the possibility of such a rewriting of the Bible, it also confirms that there has been a massive rewriting of the words of God and His history, and that book is the Quran, placing it in the same category as the Book of Mormon and hundreds of other lesser known wannebe revelations of God, and Johnny - come lately imitations of the Word of God!

Jesus and His apostles quoted from the prophets which went before them, as they foretold of Christ, and we have manuscripts of there books today, but Muslims deny them and changed their words, which is a very, very serious and damnable sin! Having sinned and denied the living and true God, we must need to humble ourselves before God as a sinner, and seek forgiveness from the only One who paid the price for it, the Lord Jesus Christ , the Son of the living and true God!

I may not be able to help you escape your father's wrong plan, but you can know the living and true God to how will save and help you, And that is my prayer for you.