sex? sin? catholic? help?

Question

QUestion okay i am catholic but I am unsure about the whole sex sin thing, like before marrige n stuff.. how those that work.......... is it still a sin having sex wth someone you kno you are going to marry? is it a mortal sin if you have sex before marrige ? what happends if you have premarital sex? I am 17 anda virgin.................so im just thinking about this stuff...sortof insecure as what happens and how tha catholic things work i mean i dont want to have sex now...and hav it bee the biggest sin and not go to heaven or nothing like that......... and i mean i am willing to hold to marrige but..we al kno there is urges lol i have been with my bf for more than 3 years and have done nothing

Answer 1

If you love some one how can it be a sin? As long as you hurt no-one else or are in another relationship I think it is fine.

Answer 2

Yes, it is a sin to have sex with somebody you know you are going to marry because you have not yet spoken the vows yet. One of you might be killed before the wedding or call it off at the last minute for some reason -- you just never know until the vows are made.

Any sex outside of marriage is a mortal sin that must be thoroughly confessed and repented of (in other words, you resolve not to do it any more) before you can receive the Holy Eucharist again.

If you have premarital sex, you open yourself up for many physical and emotional risks, as well as spiritual risks. You would not want to hold that sin on yourself indefinitely, because of the danger to your soul.

I commend you for your commitment to virginity. It is difficult to maintain it, especially in our culture that is so doggone pushy about sex, but if you make a commitment to it, God will give you the grace to sustain you through all temptation. And, an added bonus is that by refusing to have sex before marriage, you and your future spouse can actively prove to each other your ability to resist the greatest sexual temptation (each other) for the sake of your marriage vows, which is a great gift to each other.

Answer 3

The greatest gift you can give yourself and your future spouse is to wait. It may be unpopular and your friends will have all the answers as why you should just go ahead and do it. It is because they have already done it and want to feel less guilty. I am an old man, been married twice. I would require virginity today if I had it to do over. I would also suggest a healthy walk with the Lord. Life is very short, and spending most of it working out problems that you have created for yourself seems fruitless to me now. I wasted a lot of my life in the desert, so to speak, but I understand God's way now. He has the best plan no matter if you are the only one in your immediate surroundings that is holding out for His will. Think about Noah. The rewards for abstaining will be a perfect sex life with one partner, with God in the mix. God is Love.

Answer 4

Hi - What God says for us is to wait to have sex until after marriage - so that commitment is there.
What few people know is how much God blesses it after the marriage. If you honor him he will do great things in your marriage. My wife and I waited almost 3 years while we dated, and now I am so glad we did. If you wait for someone you really want them, and you don't want anyone else. God knows what he is doing and is not just a killjoy.
We love each other and our lovemaking is frequent, awesome and we never tire of each other, isn't that what everyone wants? Instead of unsure relationships, breaking trust - alot happens when you bond with someone in sex and people get deeply hurt all the time - not to mention that... how are you going to feel about your spouse having been with other people? You can give your future spouse a great gift of love.
Anyway - blessings to you - you sound like a special person.

Answer 5

Yes it is sin. according to almighty God who created you. Sexual intimacy requires vulnerability, which requires security, which requires the life long spiritual and social commitment/contract called marriage. And which best provides the context for the normal product of sex, children. Within the context of marriage, God blesses sexual relations. Just read the Song of Solomon.

(Heb 13:4) "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

(Eph 5:5) "For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God."

(Rev 21:8) "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

And living together is not marriage: Jn. 4:18.

But you have another problem that is actually larger, if you, like most Catholics, believe that you will attain to Heaven because you are a good person.

The ultimate error of Rome is that of fostering dependence upon her supposed powers, as well as one's own merits, for salvation, rather than coming before God as sinners, destitute of any merit whereby they may escape Hell and gain Heaven, and thus cast all their faith upon Christ and His blood for justification and regeneration (Rm. 3:9 - 5:8; Eph. 1:13; Titus 3:5). And having turned from sin to Him, be baptized under water (Acts 8:37) and walk in newness of life (Rm. 6). And so glorify God alone!!

Answer 6

Judeo-Christian tradition has taught for thousands of years that it is God's will that:
+ Single people should be celibate.
+ Married people should be faithful to each other (adultery is wrong).
+ Married couples should welcome God's gift of children and, therefore, artificial birth control is against the will of God.

The Catholic Church recognizes the power of sex when it teaches, "Sexuality affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his body and soul."

Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person. A chaste person's body and spirit lives in unity and opposes any behavior that would impair that unity.

The purpose of sex is to bring a husband and wife closer and to create human life.

Fornication, sex between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman, is contrary to their human dignity and the dignity of human sexuality.

Here are some Scriptures that teach against premarital sex:

Exodus 22:16-17: An man had to marry the woman with whom he had premarital sex, if the father approved of the marriage, or pay a high price.

Deuteronomy 22:13-21: Premarital sex is viewed as evil and a disgraceful thing.

Proverbs 5:15-21: A man is to be a virgin when he takes his wife.

In addition to these Scriptures, there are over 30 other verses in the Old Testament speaking about a "virgin" or "virgins." Virginity was highly cherished as the standard for God's people.

In the New Testament we don't have verses describing the act of premarital sex and its consequences like we do in Exodus or Deuteronomy. It is clear, however, that virginity is still the standard for unmarried Christians and that sex outside the context of marriage is still considered sin.

1 Corinthians 7:7:28,34,36-38: Virginity is assumed for unmarried women just as in the Old Testament. Virginity is still the standard for God's people in the New Covenant.

1 Corinthians 6:16-18: Sexual intimacy "unites" you with your spouse. Outside of marriage this is called "sexual immorality."

1 Corinthians 7:1-2: Marriage is recommended avoid sexual immorality.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9: Premarital sex isn't an option for dealing with lust. Marriage is once again recommended avoid sexual immorality.

Ephesians 5:31: Paul is affirming the Old Testament standard of uniting in flesh only with your spouse. One fleshness is to happen when a man is "united to his wife."

1 Thessalonians 4:2-8: "Acquire a wife in a way that is holy and honorable" or you are in sexual immorality. Sexual sin harms others besides those who engage in it. Premarital sex "cheats" the future spouse by robbing him or her of the virginity that ought to be brought to marriage.

Hebrews 13:4: It is a pure marriage bed or you are an "adulterer" or "sexually immoral."

1 Timothy 5:2: As a Christian man, if you are not married to her, then she is your sister whom you must treat "with absolute purity."

2 Corinthians 11:2: Although this passage is talking about Christ and His people, it uses the analogy of a Christian man receiving his bride "as a pure virgin." Virginity was the ideal. Premarital sex was viewed as sexual immorality - just as in the Old Testament.

For more information, see the Catechism of the Catholic Church, section 2337 and following: http://www.usccb.org/catechism/text/pt3sect2chpt2art6.htm#2337

With love in Christ.

Answer 7

I am not catholic, but I am a christian,...
I would say it is not a sin that will get you thrown into hell, since you have already accepted Jesus christ as your savior, the only sin that can reverse that, is reversing your claim as him being your savior.
That being said, whatever you do, should be to your God, and should reflect that you are glad he saved you from your sin and should be attempting to please him.

That is just my Biblical perspective, here are a few links on the Catholic perspective.

http://www.catholic.com/chastity/Q1.asp
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/2964/pre-marital.html
http://www.catholic.org/featured/headline.php?ID=724
http://www.beliefnet.com/features/chastity_chart.html

Now, my friend to friend perspective, less based on the Bible, but on emotions, which are given to us by God, and therefor correspond to him.

When you have sex, you are giving a part of yourself to the person you have sex with, and you are giving it so completely, that you never get it back, when you give so much of yourself you expect something in return, even if you don't think you do. What you expect in return is love, you expect that the person will love you, and be glad you gave of yourself so fully, and give of himself. In marriage, a good marriage, that is what happens, so you would think that it would happen outside of marriage to, the facts are that this is very rare, and that often, even in a commited relationship, you find out that if you aren't ready to be married, you aren't ready to give to each other like you would when you are married, and therefor not ready to have sex.

Knowing you are going to be married someday and having sex because of that is bad for many reasons, I'll list the top two:

1)Things change, sh** happens (excuse the language), life happens, and plans change.
This means that even with the best intentions, without the commitment of marriage, there is a large chance that you will not end up married, especially because you are 17 but not limited to that.

2)Sex while you are engaged, or know you are going to get married, puts strains in the relationship, so that you cannot court each other and get to know each other and work things out before you are married, and sex takes the focus off your relationship and onto your body.

I would like to commend you for not having sex thus far, and good luck on staying pure.

The emotions associated with sex cannot be taken away from the act of sexual relations, this being said it is much better to be with a partner you feel safe and secure with, such as a husband who is binded to you by marriage.

Hope that helps,

Jessica - feel free to email me

Answer 8

sin: anything you do intentionally that you know is wrong and can potentially harm you in the future.

Sex is a sin when:
1. It is not between a man and a woman (homosexual sex and masturbation are considered sins ... another reason for this down farther)
2. There is no love
3. You are not building a better relationship with your spouse (masturbation is only with yourself, even if you are thinking about your wife while doing it. It is only justified when making a test-tube baby.)
4. You are not trying to create a baby (homosexual sex and masturbation do not create a baby)
5. When it is pre- or extramarital sex (pre: you may not end up with this person. you may get knocked up and then abandoned. extra: you are cheating on your wife! Thou shall not commit adultery.)

But as catholics, when we go to Reconciliation, if we are really sorry for our sins, we are absolved of them. You won't go to hell for making one mistake. We are human, but you can control yourself.

Answer 9

No they don't consider it as a sin they Know is something that God created For married people, though now people don't seem to understand that is not for unmarried people. but they consider sex outside marriage a sin

Answer 10

You are Catholic. This means you are not to have sex prior to marriage, even if you are planning to get married. I know there are a lot of temptations and excuses out there. Pray to God, and he will help you remain faithful to your beliefs. If you have been with your boyfriend all these years and not had sex you are doing exactly what God wants. Yes, it is a sin to have sex prior to marriage. Be proud of yourself and continue to do what you are doing. May God bless you and fill you life with happiness!!

Answer 11

Hang in there until your married. You are doing the right thing by waiting until your married to have sex. You won't be sorry you waited. That's the only way a girl can test their boyfriends true love for them. If he passes the test by waiting for sex then marry him. He truly loves you. Good luck.