I've Reached The End?

Question

I have a 3 month old baby girl. I feel like giving her to someone who can take care of her and killing myself to end all the hurt. I am job-hunting so that I can get out of the abusive situation that I am in. Her dad is paying the rent until the end of this month. we dont live together so I have been looking for a job with regular hours. So far I can only find ones where i have to do nights weekends etc. I appreciate that he taking care of the bare essentials financially but he uses it at every chance he gets to put me down. I'm really am trying hard to get a job but the country that I live in doesnt offer much in the way of choice. My mother helps but she doesn't understand fully and I don't want to worry her...He had expressed an interest in coming to see his daughter for christmas but has since changed his mind as he says i'm not begging him enough. I need to sever all ties with him but my jobhunt isnt going well and it is depressing me. I'm worried about my baby's future...

Answer 1

I know it'll seem hard but forget about the farther for a moment, he might be paying for the rent which is nice of him and fair enough he's being kind, but think for a moment, him spending his money on you? not such a bad thing so ignore him when he tries to put you down, but then again i would watch that he doesn't want the money back when your back on top of everything.
don't say anything about killing yourself, if you can go through with having a baby and be able to tell someone about the situation your in then personally i think your strong enough to get out of this, i know you don't want to worry your mother but in all cases she is family and I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping you more, isn't there any other family or friends who could help?
Just stay on track with finding work, look for any signs in shops, anything is a start, in the UK(not sure where you are sorry) we have paper rounds which normally is a teenage thing but being paid £20 per week isn't too bad as an extra job and you could take your baby out at the same time or get someone to watch her?
If he thinks YOU should be begging him then he is so wrong, the baby may be his as well but over all shes yours, don't feel that you need him in your life if he's going to patronize you.
I can't say "i know how it feels" as i don't it must be hell, but i think you can do it.
For jobs it really is get what you can, where do you live?
i would just keep friends and family close and don't bother about the father if he has any real intrest about your daughter he'll contact you and offer to take her off your hands for a few hours, he should be begging you if anything.
Good Luck, stay strong, if you ever need to talk i'm here

Answer 2

You have been through an awful lot in the past few months.
It's never easy looking after a new baby even with support.
But you are a strong person who has done that. Its you who is with her through t he night feeds, all day every day and thats to be admired.
I don't think its the baby who is the problem for you, its the boyfriend.
Ditch him. Your mum will be a whole lot more upset if she thought you were coping with this all alone.
Sit down and talk to her.
Please get help from someone.

Answer 3

have you thought you may have post natal depression? if you don't live with your mum now, couldn't you move back in with her? you really don't need to be job hunting just now, you need to be concentrating on your baby and yourself. don't beg the ars***e for anything. if you did find a job today, it would put even more pressure on you. it's hard enough trying to juggle kids and work, without the added pressure you're under. see your doctor and get a sick note if that's needed. you really do need help, from your mum, your doc, and anyone else who could support you just now. you can sever the ties with him, you really don't need such an arrogant pr**k in your life. so he helps financially? big deal! he's controlling you, don't let him. have you thought your mum may be more worried that you're not confiding in her? we're not daft, you know. i hope you get all the help and support you need. diane.

Answer 4

This is truly the time you will need to depend on God. I am a single mother and have been for 11 years with two children. I know God will make a way. You may have to get on public assistance until you can get on your feet depending on what your country has. Now, about that man. Girlfriend, kick his butt to the curb!!!!!!!! Nobody has to put up with that degrading mess he is putting you through!!!!!!!!! He really got nerve!!!! He made that child just like you did and it is his total resposibility to help take care of that child. How dare him to make you think it is a privileage for him to grace you with his so-called pity money that pays the rent. He should want a roof over his baby's head. In the end he will have to pay for what he is putting you through. Don't let a temporary situation cause you to make a permanent choice. You have a lot to live for. That baby is your main priority and reason to live. Do you really want her to live with that so-call father of hers? Go back to school and better yourself in order to take care of you and her. Trust me, I've been in your shoes somewhat, but I've always paid my own rent through the GRACE of GOD. God is the hero, don't think or depend on that other ZERO!!!!!!! Remember you do have somebody out there looking out for you. God. Believe and trust in him and he will provide a way. Phillipians 4:13. Try it sometimes..........it works. I'm a living witness. I own my home now. Peace.

Answer 5

Just hang in ther and keep trying. Asingle mother's job is the hardest job of all. You will get that job you need, but have you considered getting on a program like hud? It sounds like a bad idea I know, but at least he will be off your back and you can focus on getting things together. Your baby will be fine and so will you.

Answer 6

Sorry to here about you plight but listen nothing is worth doing what you are thinking about. Go to your local job centre as I'm sure they can help in regarding a career and can advise about child care etc etc. Don't give up be strong for your child. Think positive. I've posted a question on here about my family problems and its helped me immensly. Get help in regards to your childs father and seek guidance and assurance on what is the best option for you. Hope all works out for you. Take care.

Answer 7

I think you are suffering with post natal depression, I advise you to go and see a doctor straight away.

No matter how hard life seems for you at the moment you just need a bit of help and things will start to look brighter.

Answer 8

RIGHT AS A MOTHER OF 4 AND GRANDMOTHER OF 6 AND JOHNS WIFE FIRST DONT TAKE ANY NOTICE OF THE FARTHER IF HE COMES HE COMES IF HE DONT WELL UP HIS YOUR DOUGHTIER WILL TELL HIM IN YEARS TO COME DONT WORRY ABOUT THAT NEXT GET TO THE DR AS YOU MAY HAVE POSTNATAL DEPRESSION EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU DONT HAVE YOU MAY, NEXT STOP RUNNING AROUND TRYING TO MAKE MONEY TRY THE DHSS FOR A SHORT WHILE TILL YOU SORT YOUR HEAD OUT OR TAKE PART TIME WORK BUT YOUR DOUGHTIER NEEDS YOU AND YOU ONLY AT THE MOMENT DO NT THINK OF THE DAD HELL COME RUNNING WHEN HE WANT LIKE ALL MEN IVE BEEN IN THE SAME WAY AS YOU TWICE . SO COME ON HEAD UP SAY UP YOURS BABY'S DAD WE DONT NEED YOU AND TELL YOUR BABY YOU WILL ALL WAYS THERE FOR HER. PS GO TO DR'S PLEASE THEY WILL HELP OR GINGERBREAD WILL HELP IF YOU PHONE

Answer 9

things may be hard now but theres always light at the end of the tunnel. talk to your mum get things of your chest you will feel a whole lot better think of your baby girl she deserves to grow up with a mother.believe me things will get better

Answer 10

To start with, try and tell your mum. Although you may feel you have let her down, it does help. Your little girl needs you. i bet she is really cute, how could you give that little girl up, she needs to no who you are. i grew up without a mum and all i wanted to do was find her, if you give her up you will regret it forever and if you kill yourself she will grow up not noing her mum...

Sorry i cant be any more help