How long should one wait after divorce before remarrying anyone?

Question

i recently got divorce ,after 2 years of long distance marriage, and i hardly spent a week with my ex.How long should i wait to remarry someone.I am 35 n want to have kids,so i am in a hurry.But after the horrible first experience i am scared.and a subconcious fear is preventing me from trying to find someone else.In other words deep in my heart ,i think its safe not to have a relashionship again.But i also fear being lonely

Answer 1

Dear Jenny:

I was talking to a friend about this
last week. You must ponder this
question Prudently & Carefully.
You need to move on in life,
& NOT go back to where you are now!

You appear to be placing Pressure
on yourself. My opinion is you are
focusing on TIME with less regard
for QUALITY Considerations.

How Long?
Ideally one should date their mate
4-5 years *To Really Know them.
Right now, you are shaking you
head at me~ I know. But you asked.

All of us hunger for companionship!
All of us experience FEAR too!
This is a part of the Human Experience.

Try this:
Try Joining an Active Singles Group,
at a Large Local Church. They have
quality events & usually attract nicer
men who you may be attracted to.
Many may wish to father a child.

Stay Active! Your Lonliness will
evaporate with time & as you date others.
Use this time of being single to resolve
issues associated with your Divorce.
You do NOT want to "polute" future
Positive relationships with emotional
baggage from your past!

Good LUCK!
But Make the choice of QUALITY~
OVER Rushing the time clock!
You can always ADOPT a wonderful
child after you find a Quality man. Right?
Give yourself time~ Jenny!
You Deserve it! Heal your "wounds"!

I hope this helps you!

Answer 2

It is hard. You married your ex because you loved him and it didn't work out. It's a huge loss. Afterward, you feel like you had so much invested in this person and they couldn't love you the way you needed them to and it's sad. You're still young. Give yourself some time to mourn. Think about the reasons things didn't work out with your ex. He's probably not going to change if he hasn't by now. Let go of the past, when you're ready (just a short phone conversation with my ex reminds me of how much of a jerk he is). Then when the time is right you'll meet someone who's gonna treat you right. You surely don't want a rebound relationship. If you're thinking kids, think of good father material. Also, would you rather be with someone who treats you bad or be alone?

Answer 3

You don´t have to wait a minute!, zero, nada. If you had a "terrible marriage" forget it. We all know it´s hard to forget, but time will do the job. Look for dates, go out with friends, show that your available. Try on-line dating too.
I think that you want to have kids with someone one you love. So it'll take some time. But it worth the effort. Don't force it, and it will come because you want it, put your mind and desires on it, every day. You'll be surprised with the results! It's never too late to start a family. Good luck and if your interested in on-line latin dating visit http://www.latina-latino.com

Answer 4

Well, you should never use marriage as a means of combatting your fear of lonliness, lest the rest of the world call you, and rightly so, a user.

You should listen to that subconscious wisdom, because any kind of hurry that you might percieve yourself to be in will sow the seeds of disaster in any kind of marriage you hurry yourself into.

It is a LOT better to be engaged to somebody for more than a year, and risk the chance of premarital pitfalls, than to hurry into a marriage and wind up blaming each other for you own misunderstandings of each other.

So, I wouldn't be all that critical of anybody who put off a marriage until after several years of engagement and that's of course after however long it takes FINDING the right guy.

Answer 5

24 hours

Seriously, if you act desperate to have kids when you talk to a guy, he's going to run. You can't hurry such a thing because most people don't know what they're going to be doing tomorrow, much less a year from now if you plan on having children.

Be patient...and know that there's a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.

Answer 6

Jenny, you've had a hard way to go and you deserve happiness. There is no set time limit and it varies according to every ones situation. It seems to me after 2 years of a long distance relationship and much stress, you need to grab on to some happiness and hang on.

Answer 7

If its kids then just adopt or find some alternative. Do not force the relationships it will end in failure. Thats what I did and still no kids.

Answer 8

I don't think how long you've been divorced matters so much. What matters is how long you've been with the person you are planning to marry, and even more important HOW WELL YOU KNOW THEM.....

Answer 9

It really just depends on how long you was fooling off on your husband with this guy before yall got a divorce

Answer 10

Go out and find someone that you can be happy with. Why wait? Is your happiness not important?