Why does Law Enforcement have to get so involved in cases like this one?

Question

My son was arrested and now has a felony assault charge over a simple stupid arguement between he and the mother of his child.

When they were still living together (Keep in mind they were teenagers- she 17 he 19) they got into an arguement because he stayed out and she thought he was cheating on her.

She started slapping at him and he shoved her backwards to get her to leave him alone and she fell onto the coffee table, but bit her own lip on the way down. When the cops came (neighbors called because they heard her crying and thought he was beating her) they saw her lip bleeding and just assumed he punched her in the mouth and wouldn't believe her when she said he just shoved her. Then they called in counselors that brainwashed her into believeing he was abusing her and got her to testify against him in court.

So now his life is ruined because some cop didn't listen to the full story and her brain is warped because counselors jumped in where they needed not to be.

Answer 1

It's kind of a he said she said situation. They want to protect the person they think has been assaulted. I've been on the other end and even arguing and being pushed is beeing assaulted. She shouldn't have slapped him but as a man he should not have pushed her. You walk away. Sounds like they shouldn't be together, it's not good for babes to be around this. Maybe he is guilty and deserves law enforcement to be involved. Don't always blame the other party, open your eyes and really look at your son, maybe he's not telling you the WHOLE truth. Good luck to your son.

Answer 2

When cops show up on a domestic, in theory they HAVE to make an arrest if there are injuries. There were injuries visible, so this is not an issue open to debate. In some jurisdictions, they have to arrest both parties. In others its up to the officers on the scene if they do or not. If I walked into a situation like that and the woman was bleeding, I'd arrest the guy. It's not up to the cop to decide who hit who or try the case on the scene. It's the cop's job to make a judgment based upon whe he or she sees or what they are told by witnesses. The cops made the right decision based on those factors.

You are missing the point about the bloody lip. First of all, if every guy who got slapped a couple of times by a woman responded with force, there would be a lot more injured or dead women in domestics. For the most part, for better or worse, men are supposed to assume that they are not in physical danger in those scenarios and refrain from escalating the situation. That philosophy may be flawed from a legal perspective because after all, an assault is an assault. The gender shouldnt matter. But from the view of public policy, it makes all the sense in the world and probably stops many "routine" domestic arguments from getting very ugly. This situation with your son SHOULD have been one of those.

In the law, when someone puts an event into action, that person intends the consequences of that action. So, when your son pushed his wife, he intended whatever happened after that to happen. In this case, falling into the coffee table and supposedly biting her lip. If the table were glass, and a chard of glass punctured her kidney, he would have intended that. If she hit the edge of the table with her head and broke her neck, he would have intended that. If she fell out a window and died, he would have intended that. (Though it wouldnt be a murder in that situation.) To put it simply, if he doesnt push her, she doesnt fall and bite her lip. This is a classic "walk away from it" situation. When he chose not to, he chose to risk getting in trouble.

Counselors are not brainwashing the girl. When a counselor is on "the other side," that is the common allegation. When the counselor is on your side, they are wonderful people doing their job to help you. Victims of abusive relationships open up to counselors sometimes. There may be much more to this than you think or want to believe. Or she could be fabricating more than she should be. But good counselors can tell the difference for the most part. Absent some specific reason to doubt them, your claim has no merit.

Finally, domestic abuse from either party tends to escalate. The more someone does, the more likely they are to do more the next time. This time, your son caused a minor injury. If what you are saying is true, more than likely he will plead out to a lesser included offense and not have a felony record. As I said, the cops only make arrests based upon what they see or are told. What the ultimate charge is or what can ultimately be proven may or may not support the cop's initial investigation. Overall, it's probably time for the couple to consider that this may not be a match made in heaven. For their safety and well being, it may be time to move apart. If they are fighting like this at this age, it can only get worse as the stress of a child and other issues become more pressing. This isnt a time to question why law enforcement got involved. You should be glad they got involved before it's too late. It is a time to evaluate the situation and make some mature decisions.Your son and his wife owe this to their child and to each other.

Answer 3

You seem to not be understanding a few things.

1.) Your son is a man now. He is capable of making his own decisions. He is capable of solving his own problems. He is also capable of preventing them.

2.) The girl you speak of was a child when she got pregnant by your son. That wasn't a very wise choice on his part. Also, If he shoved her hard enough to send her falling backwards into a coffee table, then there was more than just defending himself going on.

3.) Abuse victims lie to cover for their husbands all the time- because they are afraid of what will happen to them or their children if they turn their abusers in, if they are embarrassed about the situation, or if they are already brainwashed by their abuser into believing what he's doing is out of love. Bit her lip on the way down? I could see biting her tongue- I have a hard time figuring out how one bites their lip by being pushed. Sounds like he slapped her to me.

4.) Counselors can help abuse victims realize it's safe to come clean- if the cops were there and arresting him, chances are it was the safest she'd felt in a while- nothing at all suspicious to me about her finally telling someone what had been going on. If the neighbors thought it sounded like he was beating her, there was more than a simple arguement going on- and the neighbors were probably right.

5.) His life is not ruined. He can get the counseling he needs and move forward in his life a happier, healthier person. You don't mention where she is in life- I hope she's moving forward, too. Being a teenage mother is not easy- you seem to only have concern for your son in all of this. What about the child he got pregnant or the baby he made?

It's time for sonny boy to grow up and deal with his own problems I see from your other questions you asked yesterday that you're pretty hung up on this girl and how unfair this is to your boy. It's not your business to be hung up on. He made his bed- he can either lie in it or he can make it more comfortable for himself. Whatever he does, he needs to do it alone and you need to stop being a human crutch and enabling him.

Answer 4

Yeah, blame it on the police officers, it's always their fault. Of course your little angel of a son wouldn't do anything wrong. He told you so and of course you believe him because he is your son and he wouldn't do that. Get real! This is a domestic violence and your son should have been a man and left when his girl started hitting him. But I'm sure he said that it is his home and he shouldn't have to leave. Look, I've heard them all. He learned a hard lesson. Since OJ Simpson, the domestic violence laws have been rewritten and require police to take action at the first sign of a physical altercation. Stop blaming the police, our hands are tied. Know for the future that if the police are called and there was a physical altercation, someone is going to jail and 9 out of 10 times if both are pointing the finger at each other as the aggressor, the larger one will probably be the one going.

Answer 5

First of all, in most states the law REQUIRES police to take action in cases like this. Ususlly the law requires or reccommends that the "primary agressor" be arrested. And the officer involved is required to produce a DARN good reaon WHY if no one is arrested. Obvious marks like bruises and blood tend to point to the other party as the primary agressor. Please note that primary agressor does NOT necessarily mean the person that started the fight.
Remember, laws are made by elected officials who are influenced by powerful lobbyist groups. And an unfortunate truth is that in recent years they have been pressured by women's groups to skew domestic violence laws in favor of women.
That said, my personal opinion is this: To be charged with felony domestic violence one generally has to have been convicted previously of domestic violence. So i will presume that this is not the first time your son has done this. And shoving is, in fact, grounds for arrest for domestic violence. I think your son is lying. So did the police. And the judge.

Answer 6

You've kinda answered your own question with the last sentence. They get so involved in stupid cases because they don't listen to the people who were ACTUALLY there. They always say police and fire are first responders, but the truth is, the people involved are the FIRST responders and the best source of information. They should have listened. The couple shouldn't have been slapping or pushing each other - that is not the way responsible people resolve differences. Encourage them both to get counseling and try to be supportive in whatever way you can. Let him know his life is not ruined - any life is worthwhile.

Answer 7

If she replaced right into a sufferer of a minor incident it is going to be ok, it would desire to be appeared at that he takes income of her on an analogous time as feeling efficient. Had she been a suspect that would desire to be yet another tale, it does not harm to offer it slightly time. If he replaced into attracted on your sister, then he will nevertheless be interest in a month or so. it is not ethical to hit on somebody on an analogous time as on accountability. the seems would have additionally been that this guy does it each and all of the time and is a participant or is already spoken for.

Answer 8

Your adult son got a minor girl pregnant - statutory rape.

Your adult son pushed a minor hard enough for her to fall and become injured - assault - child abuse.

"but bit her own lip on the way down" - I just don't see that happening.

There is a lot of missing information here.

Answer 9

Many women have died because police did not get involved in cases like this one. His life is ruined because he made some bad decisions. It is not the fault of Law Enforcement or the counselors.

Answer 10

If he's a man he can take a good slap from a woman! Be like a stone man and when she slaps you she will hurt herself and when the police come ask them to view her palm and they will know she is the one doing the assaulting! But never ever attack a woman unless she has a gun then you must kill her!