I'm worried I can't protect anyone or myslef, what to do?

Question

I'm 18 and thru my life, I've gotten into fights when I was younger. In elementary and middle school were the times when I beat up people since I had no choice. My environment was dangerous so had to protect myself.

I haven't fought anyone in a long time, and I think I'd get pulverized by anyone now. I really want to be able to be strong enough to protect myself, back my friends up, and protect my love ones. I'm also afraid if I got a gf she wouldn't be able to protect herself or my little sis who won't be able to protect herself either. I'm really scared.

What should I do to gain power? Must I learn what my ancestors learned? Martial arts, does it really help?

Thanks for reading.

Answer 1

It's admirable that you want to protect your loved ones, and the kind of worries you have are normal at your age - you have to be careful to manage your worries so you don't become fixated with them. As you get older, you learn there are all kinds of protection - not simply physical. You can protect your g/f and sis by giving love and security within your family. This will help give them confidence and strength to cope with anything. Too much protection, from a person who thinks physical attack is the only way is equally dangerous as no protection.

Young males fight as youngsters - this is a worldwide, biological fact, irrespective of the environment. As they grow up they fight less because they learn tolerance, most of us would get pulverized compared to when we were kids. I'm a girl but still had a a tough upbringing in a not-so-great environment and the best thing I did was remove myself and my lil bruv from it. I had one or two problems on the way and felt a bit like you, was afraid I'd be raped again or I'd get beaten to S@#t but it's funny when faced with attack, years later - the old fight inside me came back when I needed it.

I think martial arts does help, mainly because it carries the theme there is more to power than fighting and exercise helps to balance your mind and body.

If you want your lady and Lil sis to be protected, then take a self defence or martial arts class with them (my niece is four and goes to karate, so it doesn't matter how little she is!) A class will give you a shared interest, some fun, good health and maybe allay some of your fears at the same time.

Good Luck:) to you and your loved ones

Answer 2

It's probably natural to feel helpless since you grew up with fighting and now you're out of practice but remember no matter how strong you are there is always going to be someone who can kick your ***. Or get his friends to find you.

If you still think there is a valid reason to get stronger then learn some form of self defense, that might help give you enough confidence that it won't occupy your thoughts so much.

Also it doesn't always require brute physical strength to protect people and in some cases it won't matter anyway. If your not in immediate danger then as long as you are there to protect them then that should be enough. For example if you keep the wrong people away from your sister and try to teach her about the bad things/people in your life you have already done more to protect her any one fight could.

Answer 3

it seem that u are stuck in a violent world, the world u have been when u were 18. True, a man needs to have the capacity to protect the loved ones, but u shouldn't think that at any corner it will be a danger waiting...
But if u want to be safe with urself, u should take some self defensing courses, and some therapy really..cause ur true fears don't start with ur physical power but with ur mind power...take care.

Answer 4

Martial arts really helps, although frankly you can just take a self-defense class and learn the important things. Sometimes the most important thing you can learn is how to avoid bad situations and walk away.

Answer 5

Intelligence is the best protection. I have defused many angry people by agreeing with their stance and reminding them of the consequenses of violence. Martial arts work only if you can avoid being hit, however MA used right, kills, fast. Do you need that deadly power?

Answer 6

I know how you feel... Seriously every moment I think someone's gonna want to kill me or the people I care about. Most of it's just paranoia but learning martial arts does make you feel a bit more self confident...But being too confident gets you killed too...

Answer 7

I've grown up in a rough environment as well. But I've never had to raise fists with anyone. Just learn to be less argumentative.

Answer 8

You are looking at life in a peculiar way ..you should stop thinking that people are all aggressive and settle a argument
with beating each other up ,well that's not the case ..you find that people .would like to reason and talk about it ,,
And not rush in with hammer and tong

Answer 9

You really don't need to do anything physically. You can if you want to but you do not need to.

What you need to learn to do is just avoid these situations in the first place as much as you can. For example it is good to avoid people who are into drugs, crime or are chronic drunks. That is a big one, if you run into people and you start a friendship with them, as soon as you find evidence of any of the above it is best then to just not hang out with them. Just get away from them. You can be very honest and just say that they seem like a nice person but you just don't have friendships with people who do those things. A few of them might actually straighten themselves out but most won't and will move on and find other friends who do engage in those things. They like to hang out with other chronic drunks. You do the opposite you hang out only with good people.

Next comes constantly being aware of your surroundings. Are you maybe going to be in a bad or marginal part of town? Is the bar you go to have a reputation as a "rough" place? Is it a bar or even part of town that is known for fights? Here in San Diego there are several areas that are well known for people getting drunk and getting into fights. Including riots with the Police.

I once went into a bar in a small town and after about 10 minutes or so of being there it was clear as to what was going on. The people in there were extremly bored because there was nothing to do in their small town. So it became evident that a good game plan would be to get drunk and pick a fight with some one from out of town. So I just left and that is the end of that.

If you are single, be careful and find out asap if the girl you are talking to is single or not. Talking to women who are married or have a bf could lead to problems. I once saw a crazy thing in this regard. This guy was talking to this girl and she said" "I have a boy friend." to to everyone shock the guy said "Scew him!" and the bf heard him say that and just come flying over and really beat the crap out of that poor guy.

Get to know your neighbors. That is important because you can often times really help each other out. You can have a plan in case of any emergency.

Get a dog. Criminals and other bad people are much less likely to mess with people who have a dog. It need not be a junk yard dog it just needs to be a dog that is not too small. No one is going to be scared by a Poodle or Terrier.

You need to concern yourself with PREVENTING those kind of situations in the first place.

I am small, I have lived in a marginal part of town for years and nothing bad has happened to me! This is because I avoid trouble and even potentially trouble situations in the first place. I hang around only good and loyal people and I avoid all bad people and situations and that is it. I have a small group of close friends and that is it. I "shut out" people who are not good people.

Just remeber you are the company you keep!

If for any reason(s) you live in or have to be in at some point a bad or marginal area. You need to make yourself aware of the area and if you can try and go there with some one who is familiar with the area. In most bad parts of town the people who live there are safer than the people who visit there.

Answer 10

.40 caliber Semi-Automatic Beretta.

Excellent Pistol. 15 Round Clip, and you're ready for Heavy Game.