Life is unfair?

Question

I hate how my family is falling apart. Mainly, my younger sister is the big problem. My mom had been so blind about her in the past and now that she claims she "opened" her eyes when my sister hit her and cursed her out. We found pot in her purse and she is constantly trying to sneak out the house. She has an EXTREMELY bad temper. She is very violent. It looks like my mom doesn't know how to educate her at all. The worst part is that my mom blames me for everything and when my sister does something to me she always takes her side. Sometimes I wish I was dead but the only one that gives me hope is God. My dad has never really been there for us. While I was growing up he really mistreated me i.e. left me stranded somewhere when I was 5, put gum all over my hair, told me horrible stuff etc. I really don't know why. I don't really have a relationship with him now. I guess I get to pay for my parents mistakes since I am the oldest. One day things will change for me. I have hope.

Answer 1

There isn't enough time to write a completely cohesive and comprehensive answers to what you've written. So let me give you the best I can right now, and say I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

To tell a part of my story- I had an abusive mother, beat me to unconsciousness many times in my life, kicked me out when i was 14, punched me in the stomach, pulled out hair, mentally tortured me. My father was an alcoholic and drank himself to death. My older brother had anger issues because he had been beaten as well...so my mother encouraged him to beat me up. He dislocated my shoulder, broke my arm, slammed me into doors, you get the picture.

At night I'd look to the sky and ask God to help me...my mother raised us in a strict religion and it was unheard of to seek outside help. The elders did nothing to protect me but said "be a good girl" and stop making my mother mad.

Deep inside you know you're not bad and you dont deserve this. Sweetie if I could, I'd wrap my arms around you and take you away and never let you feel pain again. Since I can't please remember that hope is a strong thing..and God will reward you for what you've gone through.

A good life awaits you- there is unlimited love out there..when you get away from these sick, toxic people, your idea of happiness and perfection are open to your world. You will get out, you will be strong, you won't repeat the cycle, you will be a happy , loving person who will change the world.

You are not the reason they are doing this. THEY are the reason, they're too overwhelmed with their pain and ignorance to do anything better. My email is always open if you want to talk. God bless you.

Answer 2

Sounds like a disfunctional home you're living in.

Don't think your mom had "blinders" on. Her eyes were wide open, she just didn't want see. It's call denial. It's simplyer to dennie what's going on right before your own eyes when you don't know how to solve the problems.

The problems usually come on with full force when nothing is being done about the problems right from the get go.

When you sister hit your mom, the police should have been called right away. That is assault and abuse right along with the cursing. The police would have cuffed your sister and she would have gone for a ride to the police station. Charges could have been filed by your mom. From the sounds of things, I doubt if your mom would have pressed charges. However, one way or the other (if your sister is a minor) the police have to call Social Services.

Considering what you have said, Social Services would have been a "good thing." Then maybe the whole family could have gotten help. Counseling is a major factor here. You all need counseling. Your mom has lost any control she may have had regarding your sister and whole family. Your sister has anger problems, drugs, abuse, asault, running away. Your sister is considered a run away even if she returns home that same day. At least that's how it works where I live.

The reasons for you catching the blame for what your sister does, is because you sister is younger than you (not a good enough reason) and at this point your mom is most likely afraid of your sister. Mom doesn't want to see your sister in the jouvinal justice system.

What your mom doesn't understand (or maybe she does) is that all of you can learn how to better cope through Family Services who offer program just for thest situations.

You have issues that probably haven't been delt with regarding regarding your father. If one is abused, you're all have been abused in one form or another. There are all kinds of abusive behaviors. One example is your sister. Eventually they all come out in the form of "more abuse." This time with other family members. The cycle will continue until someone finally breaks the cycle of abuse.

Because you're the oldest, doesn't mean you have to be put in the middle of all the craziness. You can go to Forward Services or Social Services (look up numbers in phone book) and tell your story. Try Forward Services 1st and they can and steer you in right direction. At least you can get the counceling you need. They'll see to it that the whole family gets involved. At least it's a step in the "right" direction. You can't keep suffering the way you do in the hopes it will get better. It doesn't get better unless someone does something about it.

It may be hard, but you (your self) need some answers about your father, to say nothing about your mom and sister. Your sisters anger issues probably have something to do with your father too.

I'm not a counselor (would spell better if I were) but am very familiar with what's going on within your family. Believe me, you're not alone. Things can be made better even if it's for yourself alone. It's up to the others to do for themselves. It's there responsibility, not yours. You are responsible for your own sanity. See a counselor and start your healing process. Remember the most important thing, you are not the blame for any of this.

No that I've written another book, take care. I'll be thinking about you on your journey to a better life for yourself. Sometimes we all have to go it alone. You can do. You survied this long, just keep on going. Talk care.

Answer 3

I feel badly for you and and the way you must be feeling. The up side is that you have faith in God. It's good that you remember that these things are not your fault. These people must be really miserable inside to do these things to you. This is where your faith is really tested. We are all here to teach things to others and to learn things that we haven't learned in past lives. The people we chose as our family before we were born, were meant to meet our needs and theirs. Experiment a little. Ask/pray for God to direct you. Then be open and feel his guidance. The first time I tried this, I was truly wowed! Listen to that inner voice you hear. If you think you should do something, and you don't feel, "I don't know about this..." That's God's way of telling you, you are doing the right thing. Pray for guidance in dealing with these people. This is going to take a lot of patience. Patience is having respect for time and the faith that God will help you. Be thankful for your life and it's many blessings. You sound like a wonderful person with quite a handful of trials. Please hang in there. Keep up your hope. Call your church if you are affiliated with one and ask to be on the Prayer Chain. If you don't have a particular church, there are Spiritual centers in some areas that you may like. I'm not talking about the nuts that claim strange things! If you lived in Colo. I could tell you of a wonderful Center. I hope it's okay with you that I have you put on the prayer chain of the church I go to when I do attend. I've moved away from Colo. and have yet to look for another Center. It helps that I keep in touch by phone with a dear Spiritual Counselor. You might benefit greatly from some sessions with a good counselor. Many insurances help pay for counseling. If the parent's won't let you use their insurance, most Departments of Family Services have counselors that are either no cost or income based. With the emotional abuse you get from home, DFS may be a source of help. My experience with DFS and getting help badly needed for a little girl was not good. However, that doesn't mean you'll have the same problem! God's Speed to you.

Answer 4

It sounds like you feel really sad about the turmoil in your family especially around your sister. It must be painful that your Dad hasnt been there for you either and has mistreated u.

I hope you have some support in your life from either friends, other family, pastor, school counsellor (if you go to school or college).

Try to hang in there, if I was there I would give you a big hug! U could talk to me anytime.

Remember that God is always there for us. He loves you so much and he is your real father in heaven. He has special plans for you and maybe you will help others when you are older. You will look back to this time and see that there is a reason for all of this. That is what I have found in my life.

You are your own friend or enemy too dont forget. You need to look after yourself, and care about yourself. Be nice to yourself and try to give yourself what you need. Eg Let yourself do one nice thing for yourself a day (eg. watch sunrise or have a big bubble bath or watch your favourite movie or whatever you would like to do.

We are sisters in Gods kingdom so hay little sis - chin up.

I will also pray for you okay?

Take care
xoxoxoxoxox

Answer 5

in my opinion I dont think of it extremely is is a race element, unfair lives take place to all individuals, no depend the colour of our epidermis. For me, it form of feels that just about each little thing has long previous incorrect and that i'm not the place i needed to be at this element in my life. these days, this week easily, i replaced into skipped over for my advance and that they have got employed somebody 7 yrs my junior on an analogous income (who has no experience yet merely a paper saying she studied)... I even have been here 3 yrs with 14 yrs experience in this industry......I artwork an hour early maximum mornings and go away an hour previous due maximum nights, i artwork saturdays to maintain up! She arrives precisely on time or previous due and leaves precisely on time, a clock watcher! it extremely is arbitrary! purchase hey, ive have been given a job ideal... a minimum of that's what the optimist in me says.

Answer 6

Wow, I almost know exactly what you feel...
My parents made sure I went to school and they diciplined me, btu with my lil sis, she got into drugs a bit and fights, and now at the age of 15, she doesn't even go to school(homebound, but she doesn't have to be), they buy her cigs, and she has NO chores...

Now my Mom is getting an apartment and has finally filed for divorce, she has an online bf so I've heard...

My dad sometimes gets mad at me because he gets mad at life itself, so he takes it out on me??

I used to hear that if I was a better sis, blahblahblah... But I tried to be ther for my sis, but my parents should have been there for her more too. Now this whole thing with my mom and dad is just confusing....

Just do what you have to. the only reason why you're being blamed is because people can't blame themselves, which is wrong...

Goodluck and try to stay happy!!

Answer 7

look u've got some awesome answers already and all i want to say is that life is a beautiful picture made of colour and black and white. tears are in my eyes now i reall y want u to know that life is always about going ahead. u're sis ter is also having a really bad time. honey life WILL GET BETTER for u. don,t hate u'r situation and don't let go of your hope for a better future. what is happening is NOT YOUR FAULT. God is watching and honey take Him as your Father. He'll love u and take you to a safer haven. Remember Jesus loves you. He's waiting 4 u to come to Him again.

Answer 8

I had a younger sister like that too. Mom is dead now and sis is in jail. I tried to get mom to talk to her about her temper, but, mom enjoyed the control she thought she had over us. I guess I was being co-dependent to listen to either one of them! I thought that I could "fix" it, but, no. Keep hoping that one day, things will change. Walk away, get help, talk to other people, anger management, dont't listen to them when they call, expecting you to solve their problems, and don't even be a sounding board for it either! Pretend that you got cut off on your cell or your house phone is going dead; you forgot to put it on the charging jack! I will call you back and then tell them later that you got caught up in housework you needed to get done. Don't let them monopolize your life.

Answer 9

Life is unfair but that's what makes life well life.
just like the 1st person who answered ur question said "life evens out," just keep ur faith alive and everything should turn for the best. You seem like a good person u'll get what u deserve in life which should be good for all that u've been through. In the mean time just try getting ur mom help w/ur sister. She's just over whelmed with everything. Get ur sis in rehab or something...it's not her fault she's just unwell.

Answer 10

hang in there...your situation sounds alot like mine when i was a little younger....now i'm 26 and a doctor...i have an awsome girlfriend and love my life....hurting yourself or wishing you were dead is the wrong way to go....just stay in school and you can be or do anything you want too.....and church is a great thing stay with it and look to friends for comfort. my email adress is [e-mail] if ya wanna talk... i could share some of my stories as well if you want....whatever you do be safe and keep you chin up... : )