It was a one night stantd. I saw her a few times afterwards in passing, but she wasn't far enough along to show at that point. After that we stopped talking. She never told me she was pregnant, and I found out two days after the child was born. She has never set up child support, and the child calls her boyfriend daddy. Now she is calling me asking me for ridiculous amounts of money each month and she doesn't even pay rent. She lives with her parents. I'm not worried about retroactive back pay child support because I know that she can only claim back pay from when she signed up for it. I just want to know what I should do. I have not seen my son since he was 2 months old, and I have no contact or relationship with him. I work seven days a week, so its not like I can take off and fly to the new state she lives in. Any advice?
2007-11-17 18:07:10 · 11 answers · asked by Confuzzled 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Don't give her *ANY* cash until there is a support order. Tell her that you will buy items for the baby's needs (diapers wipes, baby food, etc) until you get the results of a paternity test. KEEP ALL YOUR RECIPTS. Wait until you get paperwork from the state before you agree to get the paternity test done (if she never technically files and is just trying to get money out of you you could put yourself in a bad way by volunteering for a paternity test). Then, if the baby is yours, continue to buy items but not send cash until you go to court for your support case.
At the support case, take all of your recipts and show the judge that you have been providing diapers/wipes/formula/etc. for the baby of your own free will and they will go easy on the support and will be more likely to grant you joint custody if you want it (so that you wouldn't have to fly back and forth).
Of course, as always, the best advice in situations like this is GET A LAWYER NOW!!! The sooner the better.
Good luck!
2007-11-17 18:18:52 · answer #1 · answered by lovelymrsm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I would look into the state you lives in laws. When you go to court I would recommend getting a DNA test, whos to say that the other guy isnt the father? She could just be using the baby to get money from you, it might not even be your baby. Some states will only take child support from the date that she filed for it. Like I said though you might want to check with your state. I would definately think about the DNA test. If she had a one night stand with you, whos to say she didnt have another before or after you. Once they find out the results, then go from there. I would use protection in the future. Best of luck to you!!!
2007-11-18 00:48:01 · answer #2 · answered by Sabrina K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer. You should have done that in the first place, but do it now. Yes, she will likely go for back child support, she certainly can; it is not always awarded. Don't give her a dime without a DNA test AND keep receipts or some proof of anything that you pay.
2007-11-18 10:53:23 · answer #3 · answered by CarbonDated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, the person who said you've had a life-changing event is WRONG - divorce is the only life-changing event that qualifies, NOT separation. Secondly, you do NOT need a lawyer to file for child support - go to your family court and do it yourself. He will be required to provide proof of income, and if he has none but is living with a girlfriend, the courts will order him to get a job or go to jail. You may want to look into bankruptcy - you will NOT lose your house, car, etc. and many bankruptcy lawyers will take payments. It is not hard to rebuild credit after a bankruptcy.
2016-05-24 01:33:51 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you're going to have to fly to her state eventually. You have to fight for visitation/custody in the state the baby resides. There are alot of court forms you can download from her state and mail them in to the court. You will definitely want to do the paternity test first. Then, once that's established, file for custody/visitation. DO NOT GIVE HER MONEY! Wait until you know for sure the baby is yours. Once you show the courts that YOU took the first steps to taking care of your responsibility, they will be much more willing to give you what you ask for, trust me. Good luck.
2007-11-17 18:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by CaliTransplant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get it to court first then start the back pay your self that will show your wonting to take care of the child and demand to see it when she starts calling you and using the boy aginst ya tell here to bring it up in court and keep track of when ya seen hem and good luck man hope for the best
2007-11-17 18:21:24 · answer #6 · answered by bubajams 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can petition the courts for a paternity test. If its determined you are the father, you can petition for custody, joint custody, visitiation and a that child support be set by the courts.
2007-11-18 00:37:59 · answer #7 · answered by Suz E 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll have to do a DNA first. Also, you just might have to pay back support unless you get a really great attorney to fight it.
2007-11-17 18:11:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you sign the birth certificate? if not, then you owe nothing without a court battle and a DNA test.
2007-11-17 18:15:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How do you know that it is even your child? You need to see a lawyer.
2007-11-17 21:28:44 · answer #10 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋