Im 15 and ive been told this guy at my saturday job likes me and wants to ask me out. Im a christian and i do not want to have sex with anyone until i am maried, but this boy isnt a christian. I dont care about him not being a christian, but if he did ever ask me out how do i tell him yes, but im not going to have sex or say something like that. How do i say this to him if he did ever ask me out? In the end he may never ask me out i dont really care but he is a really nice guy.
Also, if you do not like someone and they ask you out how do you decline polietly?
2007-11-17 17:15:56 · 39 answers · asked by Starfish 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you like him then go out with him, if he does ask you out. Just because you go out on a first date with someone, doesn't always mean there will be a second or third. If the two of you don't hit it off, then he won't ask you out again, so why worry now about the whole sex thing. And if you two do get on great and start dating, as time goes on let him know. If he cares about you a lot he will understand. And if he dumps you because you wouldn't sleep with him "Oh well good riddance"
His loss not your's, and the right guy will understand and want to wait. At 15 your to young to have sex and i think it's great that you want to wait. "You go girl"......................
P.S I dated my frist b/f for 15 months and we never did it, i to was 15 at the time and he understood that i felt i was to young. We always had fun together with out the whole sex stuff.
2007-11-17 17:24:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having been on the other end of "polite declines", I can say, please be blunt. Things like "my parents say I'm too young to date" or "I'm seeing someone right now", etc. only leave a glimmer of hope in the guy that he has a chance "someday". When you get older, he'll ask you again. You only delay the inevatible, and when you do finally come clean and are forced to admit that you are not interested in him, it only makes him feel lied to. After enough of this "polite rejection", you can spot it a mile away.
As for the "dating but no sex" (good for you!), that's rather awkward to broach the subject. After all, if you say it bluntly, you are implying that you assumed that he was only interested in you for sex, which may offend him. On the other hand, this isn't the kind of converstation you want to have when you realize that he's feeling you up. I'm not sure what to tell you here. Unless he's a moron, he's not going to expect sex on the first date, is he?
Maybe double date (with some Christian friends) or a chapperoned date (with a parent, etc.). If you go on a date with him, and it turns out that you don't really click, then you don't even have to go down that converstation.
Maybe you can work it into converstation. Say there is a girl at school who's pregnant. You could ask him what he thinks about that. He may ask you what you think, but if not, you can interject "well, I don't think people should have sex until they are married". The only danger here is if it gets communicated to the pregnant girl, it may come off as you putting her down.
2007-11-17 17:29:38 · answer #2 · answered by Damocles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that guy asks you out and you want to go out, then just say yes. If he ever pressures you to have sex or do anything you feel is against your beliefs, tell him. Or if you are ever talking about religion or something like that, you can mention it so he knows before he tries to get you to go there. Who knows, maybe he feels the same way!
If someone asks you and you don't want to. Hmm, I've actually had to do that before. Basically what I did was say "You're a great friend and I still want to be your friend, but I just don't have those feelings for you." If you're not friends with the person like I was, you could just say "You're a nice guy, and I appreciate you asking, but I just don't share your feelings, I'm sorry." Something along those lines sounds polite enough to me.
2007-11-17 17:20:17 · answer #3 · answered by Cam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well if he asks you out then you should get to know each other first before getting physical.. and while doing that he will find out about your limits... and at 15 noone should be expecting you to take it that far!
and to turn someone down.. you could say that you like someone else... you shouldn't lie but i'm sure there is SOMEONE out there you have some interest in... you shouldn't lead him on by saying you're busy and then he'll keep trying to find a day you're not busy.. also.. ask yourself why you don't like him.. maybe ask him why he is interested in you... that might be a little forward but if a guy is in it for the wrong reason and you aren't really a good pair then he won't have a good answer..
2007-11-17 17:22:49 · answer #4 · answered by a.n.g.i.e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a good question for those who are learning to set healthy personal boundaries! I think you are smart and sensible, so don't worry, you are on the right track. You already know your sexual boundaries, and should be proud to talk about them. So, if you would like to date, make it clear to the boy that a date to you means an activity, and that you wish to be home by 11 pm for example. If he is respectful and you know him pretty well, it won't be an issue. The key is knowing him a lot before you go out alone. Ask him about his wishes and boundaries on the phone or at school, talk first. Then when you both are honest bout your expectations, have fun on the date!
2007-11-17 17:23:02 · answer #5 · answered by kittykris2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how about not saying anything to him about sex. I mean gosh he just wants to ask you out. He doesn't want to marry you, buy a house, and have babies with you. You are too young to have sex right now, Christian or not. It shouldn't matter either if he isn't a Christian unless he's into scientology or something. Just go out with him if you like him and see what happens. If he's a perv then kick him in the balls and tell him you never want to see him again. If you really don't want to go out with him then just tell him you aren't ready to start dating yet. Easy enough.
2007-11-17 17:24:47 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's just asking you out for the first time, then I don't think you have to worry about him asking you about sex. Keep your personal beliefs to yourself until the time is right, like it if comes up in a conversation or if he's putting pressure on you. And when the timing is right, just be straight-forward, but don't be rude. Just say something along the lines of, "I'm Christian and I want to save myself for marriage. It's really important to me, and I'm not going to compromise my beliefs." If you want to decline someone who is asking you out, then I would just say, "I am very flattered that you would want to go out with me, but I wouldn't want to compromise our friendship. I hope things don't become awkward between us, but I just don't see you in that light. Don't get me wrong, you're a great guy, but I see you as a great friend only." And then don't make things awkward, the guy's already hurting because you turned him down, just pretend like the whole scenario didn't happen.
2007-11-17 17:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its OK to date if you know what your personal limits are. If he asks how you feel about premarital sex let him know that truth. You have a commitment to God and to yourself. You plan to be a virgin on your wedding night. Sounds plain but really the more clear and simple about it you can be the better. No room for misunderstandings. Don't be afraid to date based on the no sex priority. A lot of people date without ever moving on to sex.
Remember it takes a lot of courage for someone to ask someone out so be kind, clear and honest otherwise they may think there is a chance. Just say "Thank you, but I don't feel that way about you"
2007-11-17 17:25:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dating does not mean you must have sex. You set your own standards for dating, you choose if and when you want to be intimate. You don't discuss having sex or not having sex the first time someone asks you out. If you do decide to date, and it really sounds as if you don't want to, then you will discuss sex later when you decide to become more committed, or maybe never at all.
2007-11-17 17:20:25 · answer #9 · answered by ScSpec 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he's a nice guy then go out with him. Just avoid clothes that screams sex! You're 15 and don't miss your youth because you are afraid that he likes to have sex nor afraid in telling him that you don't like to have one. Be lady like in your actions Love. Be modest so he wold know that you're GP. Don't tell him that right away that you are not having sex with him coz that's a turn-off. Enjoy his company and there's a right time to tell him what you feel 'bout having pre-marital sex.
And to your last question, just say "i am sorry, i don't feel like going out."
2007-11-17 17:37:03 · answer #10 · answered by Snowy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋