How to get my 5 yr old to sleep in her own bed?

Question

Since my daughter was born, her daddy has let her sleep with us in our waterbed. She suggested that if we buy her a DOra bed that she would sleep in it, well we did and "NO" she doesnt. Well now she says that if we buy her a waterbed that she will sleep in that. We want to get her a waterbed to try it out, but I dont believe that it will work. We still will buy her one, just because. She is a daddys girl and she gets EVERYTHING that she wants. We have actually layed down with her in her bed to get her to sleep there. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt. The nights that it does work, she wakes up in the middle of the night and gets in our bed. The nights that it doesnt work, we end up falling asleep in her bed and she gets in our bed with the other one. Does any one have any ideas on what we can do to try to get her in her own bed?

With my 12 yr old, I did not have this probable. Only with this one! I have tried to tell her that she is a big girl now and that mommy and daddy has their room and she had her own room. That doesnt work, she just says "ok and your point?". Have tried bribery, that doesnt work. Have told her that her friends at school sleep in their own rooms and she didnt want them to find out, she didnt care if they knew or not! The only thing that I can figure is that she is jealous of me and her daddy. She does not at all like us to kiss, hug or anything around her. She doesnt even like us to sleep beside each other. She has to sleep between her. I dont know why. But, something has to give. Thank you all for the tips, I will try each. Some have already tried. Would still love to hear more tips though.

Answer 1

I'm guessing that what she likes about sleeping in your bed is not that it's a waterbed, but that she's sleeping with you. I think that probably your presence helps her to feel safe and comfortable. If she's used to that, imagine how lonely and maybe a little scary it would be to sleep alone. Here are some ideas you might try:
1. Explain to her that she's 5 now and five-year-olds get to sleep in their own bed. Explain it not in a way that makes her feel cut off from the world (not like "Suck it up") but rather help her to feel positive and more independent.
2. Help her to feel safe and comfortable in her own bed. Stuffed animals, a nightlight, etc.
3. Reward her for spending nights in her own bed. For example, you can set up a system where, every night she spends in her own bed, she can get a sticker on a chart. Then when she has collected enough stickers (you set an appropriate mid-term reward) she can get a special reward, like going to a movie with her parents.
4. Reassure your daughter that you love her and you're not making her sleep in her own bed because you don't want to be with her.

Answer 2

Put her in her bed and give her, her favorite stuffed animals to sleep with. Maybe turn on some soft music that will help her fall asleep. You are going to have to be stern and make her stay in her bed, even when she gets up during the night, put her back in her bed and make her stay there. This will work after a few nights when she gets use to it. Make sure she understands that mommy and daddy are close by if she needs something, but she needs to sleep on her own. I have an aunt who has let her daughter sleep with her since she was a baby and now she is 13 and still refuses to sleep on her own. Maybe if you give her a prize or something special when she does it, then it will help get her in her own bed quicker. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 3

I just did this with my 3 y.o. She slept with me when she was sick and then she wanted to co sleep every night. I did it the slow method, and it worked great. First, I brought a mattress into her room and we both slept on that for a couple of days. Then I put her in her bed and I slept on the mattress. She would cry and want to sleep on the mattress with me but I kept putting her back into her bed and eventually she slept all night in her own bed with me sleeping right next to her. A week later, I left the mattress and put her in her crib. Sometimes she sleeps on the mattress, sometimes in her toddler bed, but the best part is that she sleeps all night without me having to go in there. She has a little flashlight with her that brings her security and comfort. THe whole process took about a month. Since your daughter is older, I imagine it might be easier to explain the process and mark the days off on the calendar-"Ok, two more days and you'll be sleeping in your own room!" And be firm. I promise you that she will survive. :)

Answer 4

My son was sleeping with me for 2 years. My husband and I put his bed in our room at the end of our bed. We gradually moved our bed and finally he started sleeping in it. Try moving your daughters bed into your room for about a week then tell her she is a big girl now and she cant sleep with mommy and daddy. My son now sleeps in his bed every nite and even gives me a good night kiss rolls over and goes to bed. My husband and I have our own room! We love it! Try being consistant with her and tell her no to go back to her bed. She will cry but she will go back to bed. It will help if your husband tells her or walks her back to the bed considering she is a daddy's girl. You both have to be consistant , hard but not to hard!

Answer 5

Who is the parent in this family???? She has both of you wrapped around her little finger. Bite the bullet and put her in her own bed when you put her to bed each night and tell her she is a big girl and should sleep in her own bed. Read her a story, give her a kiss goodnight and leave the room. If/when she joins you in your bed during the night, get up right away and return her to her own bed. It may take several nights of crying from her to get her used to staying in her own room. OR you can tell her that if she feels she has to come into your room, she can bring her pillow and a blanket and sleep on the floor beside your bed but NOT in your bed. I did that with my children and never had them in my bed.
And if you have another child, remember to sleep them in their own bed from the time they are babies and you will save yourselves lots of trouble later on.

Answer 6

She'll outgrow the need to sleep with you. As soon as she starts making friends at school and wanting them to sleep over, trust me. Right now just enjoy that she loves you and likes to be with you. That doesn't last forever. Mine are teenagers and are wanting to distance themselves. I wish I could go back and enjoy it more!
You sound like a good mom so I'm passing this second part along as additional information ...
The best advice anyone ever gave me for my kids was to either KNOW the parents of your child's friends or have their friends stay at your house on an overnighter. good luck.

Answer 7

Reward her with things like going to the park or going to see a movie. Avoid food rewards. And ALWAYS reward her when she does sleep the entire night in her own bed. NEVER reward her if she doesn't.

Also try letting her pick out a special blanket, sheets, teddy bear, etc., even if that means you buy her new ones.

If you buy her these thing and she doesn't sleep in her bed, they get returned to the store.

Answer 8

~I feel for ya....the same thing happened with my sister. She was three before she would sleep alone. My mom had to be firm, and stick with it. It made for several miserable nights. But now, she sleeps in her bed, and my mom has her bed back. It may seem mean, and she will make you feel like you are being horrible. But, after a few days, she will get used to it, and if she sees that you mean business, then she will accept it.

Answer 9

You can go about it two ways...either brib her or scare her..I know both sound bad but it works trust me... I told one of my sons that if he slept in his own bed we would get him a bike for christmas..Right away he slept in his bed and after christmas was done he didnt even think of sleeping with us he had forgoten..

My other son was a bit more difficult ...We told him that everyone was going to make fun of him if they found out he still slept with us..So he decided to sleep on his own..


good luck!

Answer 10

Lock your bedroom door. If she cries and whines, calmly tell her- without opening the door- that she needs to get back in her own bed.