Separation Anxiety??

Question

My cousin who is 11 years old has separation anxiety. She is staying over our house for the weekend, and she can't stop crying when she gets off the phone with her mom. Her parents are on their anniversary. Her mom always takes her side, and she treats her like a baby. I don't know what to do. She won't listen to anyone either. Her mom doesn't want to go to a phyciatrist (don't know if I spelled it right). I really need some advice!! I don't know what to do or how to help her. She goes to school, but she doesn't have many friends, and she gets along more with her little sister's friends! Please give me some advice! Thank you!

Answer 1

The only way to help this child is to get her mother to realize the damage she is doing to this little girl. Mom is the one creating this mess. And only mom is going to be the one to tell this little girl that spending the night at someone else's house is okay and to respect other adults. This goes to the encouragement to make new friends, getting this kid into some extra curricular activities, etc. If she doesn't, this child is going to remain at the ego-centric stage of life and it's going to seriously cripple her social skills well into adulthood. I can't stress enough how important it is for you to talk to her mom hon. Trying to focus your energy on this little girl is a waste of time. She's only doing what she is taught, and that is to remain mom's little baby.

Answer 2

She does not need to see a psychiatrist. That's pretty normal for an 11 year old. I see it a lot at Boy Scout camp with the 10 and 11 year olds. Sometimes the crying is uncontrollable. Just try to get her attention onto something else and after a while she'll be fine.

Answer 3

Relax, you only have her for the anniversary trip.
She doesn't need many friends; one or two are enough.
She misses her mom; see if she wants to watch a comedy movie, that can be a good distraction for a kid under temporary stress. "George of the Jungle" always worked for my daughter. If she wants to spend some time alone and crying, that's okay too.
She's got to obey the rules, though, even if she's upset. Keeping up a normal routine is important for her.

Answer 4

My daughter went through the same thing when she was about your cousins age.Believe me,she will get over it.The main thing to do is to find something she likes to do and try to distract her.Also,encourage her parents to let her come for a few hours during the week if possible.In order to get my daughter through the same thing,I had to let her go visit a friend for a couple of hours a day for 2-3 days a week.Then we started spending whole afternoons on the weekends away.Now,she is able to go spend 6 weeks at a time with her biological father and not be so unsure of herself.Try to encourage her to be more sure of herself.See if she will let you do a makeover-style her hair in a different way,let her try on some of your clothes,even if they are too big for her.And most of all,ask your aunt to please limit her talking to her on the phone.After all,your aunt is supposed to be spending time celebrating her anniversary.Tell her everything will be fine with your cousin,and if it isn't,you will call her.