I just don't believe Christians when they say "love the sinner and not the sin." Why should I?

Question

Because I don't think many Christians would continue relationships with many "sinners" if they continued to be unresponsive to their evangelizing.

In other words, would you keep a friend who was homosexual, without judging him or her, and without pestering them a million times a day to become a Christian, and let God be the one who would change him or her if God felt it necessary? In my experience, I have not seen that happen. I have seen (many but not all) Christians goad and guilt "sinners" until they convert and if that person is not responsive to their evangelizing, they leave them like dogs on the street.

(I am a Christian by the way and for many years I have seen this pattern, even in myself when I first converted)

No, it has been my experience that some Christians say this when they want to look like they care, but they don't. It is really just a bold faced lie. If I really you meant the "Love the sinner" part, which you don't, I would have a different attitude.

rebecca, thanks for the response. I simply never say the phrase at all because it makes me look like a judgmental ***. I accept my friends as people whatever they may do or say and I simply try to show them Christ by example. They know I am a Christian so I don't say or do anything like that. I respect them for being adults responsible for their own lives, and if they choose to follow my example, great, if they don't I am still going to be their friends and not abandon them. So my answer about my loving or hating sin or the sinner is irrelevant. It is a concept I don't ever consider or think of because it is not my place because I am not God. I try my best (although I fail a lot) to treat people the same no matter who they are or what they do.

I am not saying that you SHOULD "hate the sinner" TOO. I am saying that I don't believe you when you say that. And moreover, that you hate the sin AND you hate the sinner and that you are simply lying when you say it so you can cover up the fact that you are judging them.

It is like you say you love them but you just look at them as a "sinner" and nothing more. Someone there for you to convert and that is all.

Misty- I believe you are sincere, but be honest with me. When you look at your sister do you see "sister" first or do you see "lesbian" first. I hope it is "sister" and if it is good for you. But many, many Christians do not think like that. They would always see "lesbian" and not "sister. Thank you for your sincere response.

Answer 1

I'm sure it is a line for some. I find the attitude you describe duplicitous and reprehensible. We should care about people because we genuinely like and care about them--never as a means to an end.

I have kept exactly the type of friends you describe, and no I don't and wouldn't pester them--they are truly friends.

Love the sinner, and not the sin might make a good bumper sticker--but it puts people into arbitrary categories and is actually a pretty arrogant way of labeling people.

Just my thoughts

Answer 2

Yes. You particularly refer to homosexuality and seem to have the idea that we ostracise homosexuals in church. I have, personally, never known a homosexual who attends any church but I know many people who do attend such churches where homosexuals also attend and they are certainly not ostracised there. Sin is sin and we should not grade it. I've attended churches where there were people who have committed adultery, girls who have become pregnant outside marriage and young men who have made girls pregnant without marrying them first. I've know of church attendees who have committed offences which have resulted in a prison sentence or fines. There but for the grace of God go I. We are all sinners but some sins seem to be viewed differently by different people and we all have our own pecking order of which we think is the more serious. I personally think that to drive over the speed limit is a wicked/evil thing to do as is driving after drinking alcohol or even whilst feeling very unwell. These could be life-threatening. They are not just against the law - they are sin. I don't hate the people who do these things and I hope people don't hate me because of my 'downfalls' (sins) but I'm sure that there are people who dislike some things I do and pray for me that I will not repeat them. We all need each other's prayers and encouragement because we are all sinners. The ones with the biggest problems are those who hate the word SIN and will not accept that it also applies to THEM. Downfalls, bad behaviour, mischief, etc. all sound so much nicer than SIN, don't they? Unless we accept that we are sinners we will not change

Answer 3

You are wrong. You are projecting. I do hate the sin and love the sinner...my sister-in-law is a lesbian. I love her and pray for her. I continue to enjoy her company and the company of her girlfriends. I do not feel "better" than them...because I'm not. I'm a sinner with my own weaknesses.

The problem is that the homosexual community seeks to justify their sin, whereas most Christians should not...and hopefully do not. We are all sinners and called away from our sin. None of us can justify sin and make it okay in the sight of God.

What you say you've seen...may just be a Christian realizing that no matter what we say or how much we pray...each person retains their right to free will and can continue to exercise it. Even if you stop evangelizing someone you can continue to pray for them. At some point evangilization can become harassment if the person doesn't respond and doesn't want to talk to you anymore. Then you do have to leave them. Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to judge.

Answer 4

You obviously have had experiences that have caused you to form this opinion, but it is not true about all of us. Most of my friends are not Christians even though I am a "fundie". My goal in having friends is not to convert them. If they want to discuss my beliefs, then I will, but it is not the topic of conversation most days. I have no choice but to love the sinner and hate the sin. If I hate the sinner then I will have to hate myself as well. We all are sinners, there would be no one that we could love. I can dislike something that you do without disliking you.

Answer 5

Have you ever cared for someone who, well, was just a straight up loser? You might know the type: The person who constantly finds trouble, no matter what direction he turns.

This person constantly screws up, but you keep trying to, you know, "help him" Problem is, that person don't want your "help." So every time you see that person, you try to "help" because you actually care what happens to that person. But, you still know that person could care less about your "help."

"Love the sinner. And not the sin."

Answer 6

If Christianity was following an actual god, it would be a very meaningful and true phrase. Unfortunately, god does not exist so human emotion and judgments get in the way and it is simply a "catch phrase" to indicate that the should try to be tolerant.

Answer 7

You should because if you got the love of Christ then it's just automatic. I mean how can you even say you love God who gave his ONLY son, if you can't love your brother (fellow human; however you say) who is or came from the same state and sin you were in. John 15:12 "This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you."

Answer 8

Please don't presume to tell me what I mean and what I don't mean. I don't hate anyone. I do love a lot of unsaved people. I don't bother them. If I have told them about Jesus, then, that is all I need to do. I can't convert people. They all have a choice. Just like you and me. I pray for them, and want them to be saved, and YES, I DO CARE, VERY, VERY MUCH!!
Are you sure you're a Christian? I do love people, and care about their eternal souls. Don't you? As a Christian, I would think you would. Your views are NOT my views! God Bless

Answer 9

God hates the sin, but loves the sinner; Jesus said forgive how many times? You're a Christian, man! Get over yourself.

Answer 10

I have a friend who is a gay man. I care about him a great deal. His lifestyle saddens me. I do not attempt to convert him. We only discuss religion and the Bible when HE asks ME about it.

I have other close friends who do not share my faith - and we have remained friends for years.

Would I like to see them accept what I believe to be truth and make changes in their lives? Yes, of course.

But the fact that they do not does not mean I care for them any less.


I am truly sorry that you cannot believe this to be the case and have not seen it in your own experience.